Decisions
I opened another browser on the computer, checking my parents emails. Under normal circumstances, I'd leave the emails alone, but I needed my mom's contacts and the possible answers the emails held. Most of the emails seemed to be work related. All being from different scientists and doctors. But at the top of the list, was the most recent email, sent on December 21st. I opened it, reading it carefully:
To: Dr. Karen Daniels
From: Dr. Erin Ryker
Subject: Special Genetics
Dear Dr. Daniels, the files sent by yourselves, and themselves hospital, we are happy to inform you that, what each of these individuals are going through is not entirely uncommon. Subject A's before report shows special genes that would normally have remained dormant. Though forced to activate prematurely, it is all fairly normal. If not for the early trigger, the gene may have remained dormant for the rest of Subject A's life, activating in one of the following generations. A community has been set up for those with this special gene. A pamphlet for this community has been attached.
Dr. Erin Ryker
I opened the attached pamphlet, looking it over, then started passing it around to everyone else in the room. Each of them took several minutes, looking at all of the pictures. Trees everywhere around a giant open field, filled with houses, a couple barns and a huge garden place with crops and herbs.
The pamphlet having been seen by everyone, they all looked at me.
"What does everyone think of this?" I asked calmly.
"I don't trust it" Leo stated.
"Is there any proof of the existence of this community?" Sadie asked.
"According to the pamphlet, the community is kept isolated from normal people, a government secret of sorts." I said, hoping my anxiety wasn't visible in my voice.
I looked around, pausing when I saw Nathan's eyes, looking at me like he had seen through my shielding emotions. A look of understanding, a kindness in his eyes and smile. I did my best not to react.
"It's gotta be better than staying here and being hunted like animals" Kelsey said, her apathetic mask restored, snapping me out of my wandering mind.
Those of us who had been in our pj's now had day clothes, from either the pile, or from what we'd packed. Leo had dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt, Justin had a pair of baggy jeans that he had tried using to hide the fact that he'd mostly grabbed his games and entertainment systems. Clearly, I could see what he deemed important. Amber was in jean shorts and a fresh pink t-shirt. One of the few clothes that didn't have burn holes or singed sleeves. Me, I was in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. My feet were still bare, as were Amber's, but the of us were immune from feeling the cold floor. In their rush, Amber and Justin had failed to grab their shoes, but my mom and dad had always kept an extra pair of shoes. They weren't a perfect fit, but they would work when we left.
"I think we should go" Amber declared.
"And if it's a trap?" Sadie countered.
"Then we'll run. And, if it's not a trap, then we'll have somewhere we can actually belong." Her eyes twinkled, ever the innocent dreamer.
"I agree with Amber" Nathan said.
"We'll do a vote" I stated "All for going and risking it, raise your hands."
Amber and Nathan were the first to raise their hands, followed by Mariah and Justin, Then Ryan, Jason, and myself.
Leo looked at me in disbelief.
"There will always be risks in life" I defended myself. "And, sometimes, the risk is worth the prize."
He sighed, shaking his head, then raised his own hand.
Sadie glared, but raised her hand as well. She really was more of a follower, much as she claimed to be a leader.
Kelsey followed Sadie's lead and Kyle finished the vote with his hand, showing a stony expression.
"Everybody should try to get a couple of hours of sleep, or we won't be at the top of our game when we leave" I stood up and walked to the door, sealing it tight.
Mariah took the top of the bunks on the left wall, sharing it with Amber. Sadie and Kelsey claimed the middle bunk. They'd become so much like sisters, leaving me feeling just a little bit jealous.
The boys were a little more difficult. The beds were twin-sized, generally designed for 1, but could hold 2. Leo and Ryan started arguing over the top bunk on the right wall, while Kyle went to an empty corner and made himself comfortable.
"Guys, it doesn't matter who gets which bunk. We're only here for the night, so just pick a bed and deal with it" I stated, my voice edged with warning.
They both looked guilty, but nodded. Ryan got the top bunk and Leo claimed the bottom, looking like a pouting child.
Nathan smiled down at me "Mind sharing a bunk with me?"
The others were thankfully already falling asleep, but Leo shot up, not saying anything. He was clearly against the idea, but he knew better than to argue after I had already warned him not to fight.
"I...um, sure." I flushed.
I'd only ever shared a bed with Amber before, and I knew it was meant as a means of making sure I could sleep comfortably, but it was still awkward.
I knew Leo was watching as Nathan got on the bottom left bunk, pressing his back against the wall so there would be enough room for me. I quickly turned the lights off and quietly moved in the dark to the bunk. I laid down, facing away from Nathan. It was the only thing I could think of to make it less tense. A shuffle of fabric told me that Leo had seen the distance I'd placed and was content enough to lay back down.
Against my back, Nathan was warm, but it didn't hurt. It was strangely comfortable, like when my mom had hugged me before the chaos. It was like, if I pressed back harder against him, maybe I would feel like a normal person again. But I didn't knowing that if I got too used to his heat, I may begin to hate the ice once again. And I didn't want to hate myself for who I had become.
The tension quickly left my body as I felt sleep pulling me under.
My parents were still alive in my mind, even if not in reality. I was with them, walking through central park, the snow crunching and the quiet of the trees without the birds. It was so peaceful.
When I woke up, I felt warmth underneath me, and I really had thought that I was home, in my bed, holding off on leaving my blankets for as long as possible. Knowing that my parents were in the kitchen, with breakfast on the table.
I woke up with frozen ice on my cheeks. I'd been crying in my sleep again, and Nathan was holding me in a hug, stroking the back of my head, trying to soothe me. It was still dark, telling me that the others hadn't woken up yet, and I didn't want to move. But I couldn't stay in the warmth of Nathan's arms any longer.
I looked up at him. His skin glowed dimly in the dark, much like Amber's skin sometimes did,
"Good morning" he said, not showing any reaction to the tears that I was sure had landed on his shirt.
Granted, his shirt would never stay wet with his eat, I still could tell that he was aware of my tears, without making me feel uncomfortable by saying anything about it out loud.
I slowly eased myself to sitting up, and smiled back it him, knowing he couldn't really see it either way "Good morning."
I stood up and eased myself over the the light switch. There were groans all over the room, no one wanting to face the brightness of the lights. Ryan was the only one who could sleep through the lights, since he himself was brighter than any electric light.
"Alright everyone" I looked over at a clock on the wall. "It's 6 am, and we need to start getting ready."
Nathan got out of the bed first, straightening out his wrinkled shirt, no sign of my ice tears at all. Leo got up after him but was the first to go to the bathroom. After Leo went Justin, then Ryan. Kyle hadn't moved from where he was, eyes still shut tight. Sadie and Kelsey followed after Ryan, then Mariah, me, Amber, and Nathan. Nathan, Amber and myself had to go last, since I would make the water freeze, Amber would melt the ice, and Nathan ended up hardening on top of the water. We all had our own difficulties in our body and its needs.
Leo glowered at Nathan while I opened several cans of preserved meat and fruits. I was the only one who would eat the fruit, which meant there was more meat for everyone else. Unlike everyone else, I had been spending a lot of time trying to regain a balanced diet. I could eat meat, but I could also eat fruits and vegetables, though they didn't taste as good as they'd used to. With time, I hoped that I could convince the others to try to eat more than meat.
No one looked too pleased with the canned meat, not that I could blame them, but we needed all that we could get to eat.
Once everyone had eaten, they all looked around anxiously.
"Alright" I looked everyone over "Today we have to head back into the house to look for anything that we might not have had time to grab. Then we'll come back down here and figure out all the details."
No one said anything, but I knew what they were thinking. What if there were still people in the house. Or what if the house was completely destroyed and there was nothing more we could get from it. But we had to try.
"We can do this" Nathan stated, smiling at everyone.
I knew they still had their doubts. Kyle stepped forward "I can tell you whether there's anyone in the house or not. We just need to get close enough to it."
I nodded, glad he'd suggested it, since I hadn't even thought of how we would know if it was safe or not.
He started walking before anyone could say anything, pressing the button to open the door, and walking out into the sewer.
"Hey, wait" Ryan ran after him.
A light appeared in the doorway that was meant to tell us to follow. Which we did. At the gate, Kyle was waiting. I guessed that he didn't want to break the gate in case we needed added protection. I unlocked it, this time leaving it open, and we started through the several turns, which I had to lead us through. The ladder came within view, no sign of anyone above having found it.
"What's it look like?" Leo asked Kyle.
He was still in his bare feet, his toes bending and straightening, as he watched the ground and walls.
"There's no one there" he finally said.
A let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
"But there's people on the street. So we have to be discrete" He added.
I was sure I could handle discretion, but I wasn't so sure about everyone else. Still we had to try.
I started climbing the ladder, just wanting to get this over with. Ryan was the last person to climb up, extinguishing the light a couple feet from the trap door. We all knew that the people outside were looking for us. The were dead set on getting us. Most likely with the intent of killing us.
I put my finger against my lips, signaling everyone to remain silent. The floor in the living room didn't make a sound, but the stairs creaked lightly, causing me to tense up. Nobody outside seemed to notice. Most of the rooms were trashed. The people had clearly been unhappy with not finding us that they just destroyed everything they could. Doors were torn off their hinges, broken glass from picture frames, clothes thrown all over the rooms, beds lying awkwardly in the rooms. I grabbed a duffle from the living room closet when we first came in, and started filling it with any clothes that were on the floor. Amber had her shoes back on, as did Justin. I was surprised that the shoes and clothes had only been thrown around, rather than destroyed.
I considered grabbing more of the pictures from the box in the closet, but stopped with only one more. Amber grabbed her dry shampoo and Mariah gathered the only makeup that hadn't been smashed. Leo grabbed more of his own clothes, and Nathan, Ryan, Jason, Sadie, and Kelsey had gotten into their stored clothes that they used when they stayed the night. Kyle didn't really have anything to grab, instead going into the kitchen and looking through the cabinets and fridge. There wasn't any food left in them, but he didn't really know what else to do. I considered anything else we could need, but honestly anything of value was already in pieces, and the only things useful were the clothes and what remained of our cleaning products.
I stopped in my old room, looking outside from the side, getting my last chance to the city that had been my home all of my life. I remembered that Monday before everything had gone to shit. Mrs. Cherry would have been with Feefee. I actually missed seeing her and her little demon dog.
"Hey" Leo spoke quietly from the doorway.
I looked at him, then back outside.
"Why did everything go so wrong?" I spoke in barely a whisper. I knew he wouldn't have heard me, so I covered it by saying slightly louder, while still whispering "What do you think the community will be like? Do you think they'll really accept us?"
He stepped closer to me
"Honestly, I don't believe the place even exists. But you were right in what you said last night. Some risks are worth taking."
There was an underlying meaning behind his words as he stood on the other side of the window. He was looking at me intently, a mix of anxiety and hope in his eyes. It was clear that he had something he wanted to say, or maybe ask, but he didn't seem to have the confidence to say it.
"Hey" Nathan stepped into the room "We got everything we can salvage."
Leo glared at him, while I welcomed the little rescue from the tension.
"Let's go then."
More people were talking out the broken window. It must have been a shift change.
"Damn it, Nathan, I was trying to tell her something!" Leo hissed quietly as we walked down the stairs.
"You can tell her when we settle down at the community" He countered. Something in his voice made it sound like he was having fun.
Ryan was already in the sewer, and the others were following him. Leo went down the ladder, and I waited for Nathan to go next, he didn't move.
"You go first" he whispered in my ear.
I was sure that I had flushed. Leo had been the only to get that close before last night, and I didn't know how to handle such actions. Instead, I just nodded and went down. Nathan followed and the door sealed shut.
"That was so intense" Ryan let out an exhausted breath.
Everyone held a bag except for Kyle. Though I had made sure to grab anything I thought might fit him.
I felt torn, knowing that it was the last time I would ever see my home again.
I lead the way back to the bunker, locking the gate after we passed through it, Back in the bunker, we all started sorting through the clothes and various miscellaneous items. We each claimed the clothes that we knew were ours, and I handed a bag to Kyle with clothes that I hoped he wouldn't have a problem with wearing. Mostly jeans I'd gotten from my dad's things and a couple loose shirts that I had only ever looked at for sleeping in. He also took some clothes that were stored in the bunker. He probably wasn't a fan of wearing the clothes that he had available, but we didn't have much else.
"Okay" Sadie looked at me "What now?"
I thought for a moment "First, we need transportation."
"We could take a bus. I doubt they left the storage room since the bug incident" Nathan suggested.
I looked around. I knew how to drive most kinds of vehicles, but buses were something I'd never even looked at before. Though it did make sense. There would be plenty of room, and I could handle most mechanical repairs when they were needed.
"Anyone here know how to drive a bus?" I asked, looking around for something.
"I know how to drive a stick-shift, so I could probably drive the bus" Jason said coolly.
"I can also drive us" Nathan said, smiling confidently.
"Okay. So we can take shifts driving. That will save us on time" I said, feeling almost excited.
"We'll need to prepare for a long ride, right?" Ryan asked sheepishly.
"Yeah. Sadie, Kelsey, and Mariah, I need all of you to go and get some food. I don't know if we'll find any on the drive. Jason, can you go get the bus. There's an exit from the sewer just a little ways down the tunnels. Ryan, I need you to go with him, for light, and I also need Leo to go as well, in case there's people out there. We can't use your light if we're trying to stay hidden." Everyone nodded as I listed the orders. "Kyle, Nathan, Justin, and myself will stay here, packing some of the supplies my parents have ready. And remember, only bring important things we will need to survive on."
"Justin should come with us, in case we need a fast escape" Sadie stated calmly.
I nodded "That would probably be better. Will you guys be okay?" I asked Leo, Jason and Ryan."
Leo looked uncomfortable, like I had set up something that he thought was wrong, but Ryan smiled confidently.
"No worries. Light, dark and wind. We'll be quite the combination." Jason said excitedly.
I knew that Ryan wasn't entirely comfortable with Leo, since we'd started seeing his changes prior to killing Mother, but he liked when I gave him something important to do. He had sort of become like a brother to me, being only a couple months younger than me.
"I know the way out of the sewer" Kyle stated blankly.
"You sure? I can print up maps if we need them."
"No need." he started walking to the open doorway, not waiting for any responses.
"I don't like this" Leo grumbled, but started walking after him.
"Kyle, come right back after helping them, alright?" I instructed, wanting to maintain the peace with Leo.
That seemed to make Leo relax a little, his locked back releasing slightly.
"And remember" I yelled out as everyone started walking down the path to the exit "Try not to draw any attention to yourselves."
Ryan's light disappeared around the corner, slowly dimming to nothing.
"What about me?" Nathan asked behind me.
I looked back at him "I need your help to protect this place in case someone does figure out that we're down here. Especially since I'll be leaving the door open for the others to find us."
He smiled softly, while I went over to the bunk I'd slept in last night. With Nathan, I felt I could truly relax. He had a soothing atmosphere around him.
He stood against the wall, next to the door, looking at the doorway.
Then he turned and faced me "You were having a nightmare last night."
I looked at him, almost wishing he hadn't brought it up.
"Not really. Actually, it was a really nice dream" I looked away, hoping my face didn't reveal my sadness.
"Stop that!" he ordered firmly.
I looked at him, surprised.
"You don't have to be so much in control all the time."
"But I do" I stated "If I want to get everyone to safety, I need to remain in control at all times."
"Maybe with the others" He stepped closer, slowly, until he reached the bunk. "Not with me."
I looked at him as he knelt in front of me. I felt lost for words.
"Anyone in your situation would have broken long ago. I know how hard you're fighting, but you aren't in this battle alone. Even if you have to stay strong with everyone else, you can just be yourself with me."
Tears burned my eyes. I honestly hadn't expected anyone to see through my mask, or to tell me that I didn't have to be something I hated being. Maybe it was because he was a teacher, or maybe because he was a 110 year old genius. Whatever it was, he had seen through me to my core.
He took my hand, his feeling so warm. I looked at where our hands connected. The cold and heat seeming to merge.
"It's okay" he reassured me.
It was like all I needed was permission. The ice began falling from my eyes. I had never been a pretty crier, but he held me against his chest all the same. Each ice tear that landed on him melted and sizzled into nothing. I gripped him in a tight hug, as if I needed someone just to hold onto. I could hear the sobs that were wracking my body, the sniffling and his soothing humming. It was odd that he was humming, but it felt nice. I felt him stroking the back of my head, his hand going through my short white hair.
I don't know how long had passed, but I finally began to settle down, he released me, and I reluctantly did the same. I wiped at my cheeks, brushing off all the ice residue.
"Feel better" he smiled.
He was standing up, just watching me.
I couldn't meet his gaze. A little voice in the back of my head warning me of what could happen if anyone had seen me like that. Kyle still wasn't back, but I was sure he would be soon.
Finally, I made myself look up at him, and I gave him a pathetic smile.
"I'll be alright now." I said, finally starting to feel like myself again. Not the person I had been pretending to be for the last 2 months.
He extended his hand to me and I hesitantly took it. He eased me to my feet "I'll be here for you the next time you need a break from being strong."
He didn't make any further moves, releasing my hand and moving back to stand beside the door. I felt like there was something he wasn't saying, or maybe something that he was expecting. He was actually the first person I'd cried in front of in several years, and it was somehow freeing. I knew that no matter what, I could depend on him.
Not even a minute later, Kyle walked through the doorway. Thankfully there wasn't any more ice on my cheeks, but I was sure if he had looked at my eyes, he would see the blue blood vessels. I always had bloodshot eyes after crying.