Chapter 8
Depression
I'd like to say that I had been adjusting well to the new life, but that would be a lie. At first, the people wouldn't even get close to me, avoiding even meeting my eyes. I couldn't really blame them. If I had been in their situation, I would probably be scared of those like who I was, I would have been scared as well.
The day after we'd arrived, Jack had made a formal announcement, explaining why we were here, what we wanted to do. And that did seem to help. People started talking to me, though it was only a few. On the 4th day, a little girl saw me flying over, building my stamina, in case I did have to leave. She was sweet, wanting to touch my wings. Her mother watched anxiously as she lifted one of the ice crystals. I knew it was probably too cold, and I tried telling her, but she didn't care, just grazing her fingers over the frozen feathers. She smiled excitedly, then ran back to her mom, who actually smiled at me.
I knew this was supposed to be a peaceful life, the kind I'd wanted, but I just couldn't relax. This feeling in my gut told me to stay on edge. That I couldn't let my guard down, even if I had wanted to. Working out and training, however, had made a great distraction.
The only time Jack and I really spoke was over meals. He'd tried training with me, to use our abilities to their fullest, I'd quickly figured out that our limits were very different. While I could make ice bombs and form crystalline wings, able to effect the very air, he really only had basic controls. Creating ice balls, but not bombs, and freezing anything he had made contact with. That was about all he could do. Though, while we couldn't practice our abilities equally, he joined me for my morning run every single day.
I forced a smile every time I was neither either Jack or the people. I mean, who would trust a girl who's barely holding herself together, to keep their town in one piece. At night I would cry myself to sleep, praying that Jack didn't hear me.
Jack's employers had provided me with pretty much anything I could need. A laptop, for when I was able to enjoy the peace in privacy, clothes, an endless supply of punching bags and other training equipment, and food. It seemed weird getting things from someone I had never even seen. The 2 men that I'd seen when we arrived had left after Jack had made the announcement. Having finished their job and moving onto their next assignment.
Jack had taken to his new role with a level of pride that could make me sick. I'd known I was different, possibly even before Khalia. I tried acting normal, wearing popular brands of clothing, listening to the same music as others, but I was different. My parents had trained me to survive and to lead. Just like in New York, I'd had nothing but expectations placed on me. I'd never wanted that. I'd wanted to be just another girl. Dreaming about love and other normal stuff. At least now I didn't have to play leader this time.
"Kim" I walked in to see Jacks smile.
"H-hey. I thought you had a meeting?" I responded, hoping he didn't notice the surprise in my voice.
"Yeah, everything went by pretty quickly, so we got out early."
"I see" I stepped around him "You'll have to wait a bit for dinner."
"That can wait" he grabbed my hand.
I watched him tensely.
"I-I was wondering..." he fidgeted "would you be willing to do some experimenting?"
Blood roared in my ear "What do you mean?" I asked, nervously.
"I mean, testing your abilities."
I breathed a sigh of relief, probably a rather extreme reaction. "We've already seen my abilities."
"Not your maximum though" he argued "You said the other day that you were the one who killed Khalia, meaning you should be able to do so much more than you showed me. I knew you're probably afraid of your power, but it's best for you to get used to having these abilities. Not just basic stuff, things to truly prepare yourself for any possible situation."
I pulled my hand free "I'll be in the kitchen."
His face said more than his words. I'd hurt him somehow.
"Kim" he barely spoke above a whisper "Don't you trust me?"
"I do trust you" I sighed.
"Well, I trust you too, and I know that using the power you've been given isn't bad. You won't become the monster you think you already are."
"I-" I wanted to argue, to remind him that the power had been forced on me, rather than given, but I knew that he was right about how I saw myself.
Not a single passed that I'd not hoped this was a dram. I was plagued with no longer dreams, but now full nightmares. My parents, and Jake dying, and Leo trying to kill Nathan. Thoughts of my own death haunted me whenever I let my guard down. I wasn't even sure of where the feelings came from. Fearing what it was that was causing such fear in my mind.
"Jack" I turned to meet his gaze "I don't want to know what I can do. I don't want accept this curse."
He grabbed my hand again "You have to accept it, or you'll never truly be in control."
His eyes chilled my skin. Whatever I was saying was hitting him harder than I could see.
I looked away "Please don't ask me to become like her."
"I'm not asking you to become her. I'm asking you to become the real you."
I didn't move, fear holding onto each terrible memory.
"Please" he begged, physically turning my head to face him.
He gave me puppy-dog eyes for a minute, wearing at my already fragile wall. His gaze shifted and I immediately knew what he was thinking, as he looked at my lips. I pulled back, turning away from him.
"I'll try" I said stiffly.
His face lit up with a wide smile. I had fallen into his trap. But it was better than him trying to kiss me or something.
We went into the back yard, and I was grateful for the security fence hiding my shivers. I wasn't cold, just uncomfortable. Doing this really did mean that I had to accept what had been forced on me, but he was right about one thing. Denying this power only gave it the strength it would need to eventually overwhelm me. Probably making me hurt an innocent person. And considering the state the my bedding had turned into, I was already reaching a dangerous point.
I'd changed into a pair of black sweat pants and a white tank top. Clothes that I probably wouldn't ever wear again.
Jack fidgeted beside me, looking both anxious and excited at the same time. A sign that something seemed off. But I ignored it, figuring it was just his curiosity.
"What should I do?" I asked uncomfortably.
"Well, why don't you start by making a block of ice. Then you can shape something from it." He suggested.
"O-okay..."
I took a breath and let the chill of ice fill me. Flakes flew from my fingers, forming layer after layer of snow that merged with all the others, becoming a giant cube of ice.
"What shape should I make it into?" I asked, feeling the logic fade to the feeling my power gave me.
"Well, a snowman would be too cliché" Jack thought "How about an animal/ Do you like dogs or cats?"
"I'm more of a dog person. Cats don't like me." I stated and started visualizing cracks forming under my hands in the ice.
At first glance, the cracks appeared random, but, as pieces fell away, a large spiky-haired dog started taking form. The dog was about the size of a person.; big enough to show details, like the mingled depths of its eyes, but not so big that it could be seen over the fence.
"Kim, that's amazing" Jack cheered, encouraging the flooding power and adrenaline. 'You know the next step, right? Make it move."
Had my mind been in its normal logical state, I probably would have stopped without doing something so stupid, but logic had completely gone at the window of my mind.
The energy flowed as the dog broke free from the ice platform. It took step by step, moving to stand in front of me, and sitting. Like a remote control toy."
I felt excited, seeing it look at me, I could barely hear Jack anymore, power coursing inside of me. Ice covered both my arms, but didn't go any farther than that.
"Yes! Kim, let it move more. Let it be like a pet" I barely heard Jack.
My brain already telling me what to do and how to do it.
Power left my hands, and logic returned too late. The dogs eyes glowed blue in the darkening yard and its tail wagged in frosted air that left its open mouth. I'd brought it to life. Just like Khalia had done with her shadows.
"I knew you could do it!" Jack came up and hugged me.
"N-no" I pushed him off 'You tricked me!"
"I didn't" he stated "I told you at the beginning that those with enough power have extended lives and the power to grant life to their creations. All I did was give you a little push to get you past you insecurities."
"No!" I yelled "You knew I didn't want this power. You knew that I didn't want to be like Mother."
The dog came to my side and growled at Jack.
"Are you going to kill me now?" He asked coolly.
I was taken aback "Why would you even ask that?"
"That dog," he pointed "While he has a consciousness, he will act on your desires and fears. Just like Khalia's shadows did for her, he will kill for you."
All of Jacks kindness had been a lie. He knew that I was the one who killed Khalia from the moment I'd mentioned her death when we first met. He'd planned all of this right from the start.
"I trusted you" I fought the urge to cry.
"And you still can. We're partners in this community. Here to protect the weak." He smirked.
"You mean control them, right?"
"Control, protect, either way, they're dependent on us for for their survival."
The dog at my side stopped growling and howled; it's version of a warming.
It launched at Jack, and I just barely managed to get in front of him, pushing him aside and taking a bite in my shoulder. Ice fangs dug in, then pulled back as it realized who it had bitten. It backed away, tail between its legs, whimpering. The left strap of my tank top was broken and the wound hurt as it froze over. I knew it would heal fast enough, but it still stung.
"Why did you push me aside?" Jack demanded. I guessed it was his goal to push me over the edge by him dying because of me.
"I'm not like you" I glared "I don't hurt people for my own selfish gain."
I walked over to the dog who now looked pathetically adorable. Still it's full size, but looking like what I'd think of as a puppy who had just made a mess. Guilty and still so loving. I placed my hand on the top of its head and scratched its ears. It's tail wagged on the ground. I knew he was a good dog, but I had never wanted to bring him to life. It was too late now to change the outcome.
I walked into the house, followed closely by the dog, ignoring Jack calling out to me. Under my bed, in my room was a duffle bag I'd prepared on my first day here. Making me all set to leave. I grabbed a USB I'd also prepared, holding all of my important documents and programs. I'd been keeping tabs on everything that had happened since arriving, and now I knew that it had all been for the wrong cause.
I didn't bring the laptop itself, knowing that if someone tried, they could probably track me through it. And Jack's actions clearly showed that him and his employers were expecting me to be a weapon for their control of the people.
I was about to open the front door when the doorbell went of in rapid succession. I opened the door to a man from the town.
"M-Ms. Daniels" he said, gasping for air.
"What's wrong?" I asked, hiding my duffle bag behind the door.
"There's someone at the gate. The snow is weird around him. All melted." The man whimpered.
"Does this man appear to be a threat?" I suggested.
"Well, no, but he's..."
"I see. Go back and I'll be there in a minute." I told him.
He gave a relieved smile and walked away.
"You're really going to walk away after seeing how much these people need you?" Jack appeared behind me, placing his hand on my left arm.
"Think of this as a goodbye gift" The dog growled beside me "After this, it's up to their fearless leader." I smiled sardonically.
Back outside, the dog walked with me. With the dog at least I knew that I wouldn't be lonely, I knew with it I would be safe. But I wouldn't go any farther. One was enough.
I got on the dogs back, hearing gasps as it padded through the town. The wall in front of the town was almost complete. The people had been working hard on in since I'd arrived.
A crowd was gathered at the open entrance, some whispering their fears, others staring silently. They split apart, forming a path as the dog seemed to scare them just as much as the man at the gate.
My mind froze. Panic rushing through me. There, at the gate, was Nathan. The dog stopped, probably because the heat that was radiating from him.
"Kim" he smiled.
Whispers went off all around me, even the dog not seeming to know how to act.
"I was so worried" he said, holding his hand out to me.
My body moved on its own, jumping off of the dog and running into his open arms.
"How did you find me?" I asked once my brain started working again.
"Honestly, I just followed my gut. I felt you energy pulling me everywhere I went. Somehow I knew it would lead me to you." His arms tightened around me and he whispered "Don't ever leave me again."
"What about the others?" I asked, leaning on his shoulder.
"Last I heard, they're safely back in the town. But I'm almost certain that Leo is looking for you as well" He explained. "I'm here to bring you home."
"N-no" I pushed him back gently "I can't go back. I refuse to kill Leo."
"We have to go back, and we'll work it out with Leo. I'm sure he'll understand in time" he assured me.
Movement flashed in my peripheral vision and Nathan was suddenly thrown against a tree. The people screamed and ran away. Whatever had hit Nathan, was now a threat to everyone in the town.