Chapter 5
Confession
The first day of work was awkward, since we were the new kids. Field work was a no-go for me, since the plants didn't respond well to my cold. Amber was put to work in a community kitchen, cooking lunch for those in the fields. We found out that we were different from the others. While we all had varying abilities, everyone else could eat anything they wanted. Erin said it was likely a diet choice that would slowly go away, as we learned more control.
On the second night, we'd had a welcome party, and everyone found a group that they seemed to fit with perfectly. Water elements, fire elements, plant, stone, wind. But no ice. Nathan had managed to fit in with the fire people, but I was the only ice. And, being an extreme element, I didn't fit in with any of the groups. It stung, leaving me feeling dejected.
I didn't really have many job options, so, I was placed as a physical trainer. Passing on every skill that I'd learned over the years. And, when I wasn't playing coach, I worked as Erin's assistant. I didn't want to become a future leader, but it was better than just sitting around.
Leo was able to do twice the field work, having his shadow take solid form to help. As it turned out, his and Ryan's light abilities were considered rare, earning them a high societal position. Though shadow abilities were almost as rare as light. Magma and Ice were considered a more extreme element, though it wasn't nearly as rare as light or shadow.
The cell tower in the center of town also gave us Wi-Fi, so, a lot of free time, I spent reading books online. We'd all gotten the top of the line technology. 1 desktop computer per household, plus either a laptop or a tablet for each of us. Whoever was funding this place gave a small fortunes worth to us. I wouldn't be surprised if the government showed up to say that they own our asses. If that day ever came, I was gonna run for it.
Nathan was given exactly what he wanted for a job. Teaching the younger kids basic school stuff. Math, science, and history. Though I helped him with any chemistry projects.
Sadie and Kelsey worked in the orchard, next to the field. Their abilities were more mental, so they were harder to place.
Ryan worked with the indoor plants, giving them the light that they needed, and Kyle worked with the ground, breaking the rocks that got in the way, as well as tilling the soil. Mariah and Justin were split between the field and orchard, Justin hiding from work under the apple trees.
Jason got to play with the clouds, using his wind abilities to manipulate them into either sunshine or shade. Depending on what was needed.
I laid on the couch, falling in and out of sleep, enjoying the first peaceful name I'd had in what felt like a lifetime. I was between training sessions and Erin was working with the plants today, so I was free. In the 4 day's we had been here, I had made a lot more progress in my dietary changes. I at salads regularly, both fruit and vegetables. The others had finally started to change their diets as well, eating the occasional apple or peach.
The front door opened, waking my mind while my body still clung to sleep. I heard the footsteps as someone walked into the house, then an intake of breath. More footsteps sounded, approaching me. I tensed. I felt a warm hand grazing my cheek, lingering by my lips. I probably should have shown whoever it was, that I was awake, but my brain felt fuzzy.
Movement and a shadow passed over my eyes. My brain finally took motion, opening my eyes to see Nathan leaning over me, closing the distance between us and meeting my lips. I took in a sharp breath and his eyes opened to see me looking at him. A pale blue blush colored my cheeks as he slowly pulled back.
"K-Kim...I..."
I sat up, with my fingers pressed to my lips, like a little girl getting her first kiss.
Fuzziness clouded my brain again, refusing to let a single word escape.
"I-I can explain" He stammered.
A good kind of warmth seemed to be spreading through me, making my blue blood race in my veins.
"Y-you..." I tried getting out.
"I know. I shouldn't have done that. I-I just...I saw you laying here, and I thought you were asleep...and I..."
My face hid none of my mixed emotions. Embarrassment, anger, and, most of all, nervous butterflies.
Nathan looked conflicted, trying to find the right words, then took a deep breath, tightening his face into a serious expression.
"I'd planned to tell you this after you graduated." He started "But, then those things happened, and all my plans seemed to have been ruined. But I remembered the kiss you gave me just before you killed Mother, and it just...it reinforced the things I've been feeling. Kim..." My blush grew brighter and I could feel the ice seeping into the couch. I didn't care. "I have been madly in love with you since the first time I saw you."
"I...uh..." I bit my tongue.
"I don't expect an answer right now. I just want you to consider it" he smiled sadly.
He moved to leave, looking almost dejected, and I grabbed his hand. Forgetting about the ice, his heat countered my cold; His power was surging as much as my own. He faced me, looking conflicted again, and I was sure my face couldn't get any brighter. Being with him, like this, left me feeling vulnerable, but strangely happy.
He leaned back in, kissing me, slowly at first, then moving quicker, deeper. His hands were on my back and mine were in his hair, as I kissed him back. It burned where he touched, but I didn't want to stop.
The alarm on my tablet went off, but we both ignored it. Clearly, neither of us wanted to stop. Steam hissed where our skin met, the back of my shirt burned away at his touch.
He pulled back, his red eyes glowing as he watched me. I craved more, wanting his lips back on mine, but I held myself back. Burn marks and ice scarred the couch. Something we'd have to take care of later.
It took me a moment to calm myself, then shut off my alarm. I still had 15 minutes to get to the make shift training room, for my next session, but I just wanted to stay where I was.
"Y-you should get a new shirt" he suggested.
I looked down at myself. The sweat pants I'd been wearing had had holes to begin with, thanks to weapons training, but the entire lower half and back of my red plaid shirt was burned away. The sleeves were almost completely gone.
The black t-shirt Nathan had been wearing was no more, but his baggy jeans had somehow stayed in contact, while his shoes had melted off of his feet.
I let out a giggle, the last of my once impenetrable walls crumbling.
"What?" He looked at me, confused.
"I just... I don't think they make enough clothes to keep up with that" I laughed.
He let out a breath and gave a relieved smile "I'm sure we'll figure something out."
I stood up and made my way up the stairs to my room. I threw what was left of the shirt, into the garbage bag that hung from the closet doorknob. When I went back down stairs, Nathan wasn't in the living room. Probably to find a new shirt, or maybe to go back to the school. It was probably for the best. Without the rushing blood or the heat of his hands, my brain was back in functioning order, and I had no idea how to act around him. That annoying rational part of my brain was at war with my bodies desires.
Worst of all, I didn't know how I'd tell Leo, and I didn't want to think of how he might react.
I inhaled slowly, stopping my racing mind, and focusing on the present.
During hand to hand combat training was not the time to be spacing out. Thankfully, I was fairly skilled at blocking things out when training.
I got home a little after sunset, the days shortened by late winter, and I was the only one home. For once, I wasn't hungry, though I still forced a sandwich down. A 5 minute cold shower washed the dirt away and gave my mind a chance to run away from reality.
I curled up on my bed, wearing a pale purple night gown, I'd gotten after arriving. I felt under my pillow and grazed my fingers over the family picture, biting the inside of my cheek as a way of staying in control.
I couldn't have said when exactly, only that, at some point, I slipped into a dreamless sleep. I was woken by movement on the bed. My alarm clock glowed midnight. The feeling of a warm hand touched my arm, making it impossible to mix up who it was.
"Late night?" I asked, smirking, and turned to face him.
His skin glowed red in the dark room. I'd learned quick that those whose abilities were elemental based would take on a slight glow. I, myself, for example took on a blue glow.
"Yeah" He smiled "Did I wake you?"
My hand still held the picture and I hoped he didn't notice the ice on my pillow case. I'd cried almost every night since we'd gotten back to a semi-normal life.
"Kinda. I was in between. But, I don't mind."
His fingers intertwined with my own, with a sizzling noise.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, staring me straight in the eyes.
"I'm good" I lied.
"Kim" He gave me a stern look, telling me that he wasn't buying it.
"O-okay" I caved "maybe I'm not doing as well as I could be. But I'm sure it will pass."
His gaze softened as he asked "Have you had the chance to truly mourn yet?"
I tensed. Mourning involved accepting and going through the stages of grief. Something I hadn't been able to do with my new responsibilities. Granted, I cried at night, it wasn't a conscious release.
"I don't have the time to" I said, hoping I sounded in control.
"Kim, you don't have to be strong. You don't have to play mom anymore." he squeezed my hand. "If you never actually let yourself grieve, you'll never be able to move on."
"I..." I thought for something to say, still trying to stay together.
He kissed my forehead, reminding me of how my mom did whenever I was sick. We may not have been a model family, but we'd cared for each other.
My eyes stung and I tried to pull away. He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me against him.
"Kim. It's okay to fall apart every now and then. It's moments like that, that keep us human."
I didn't know how he always seemed to pull out my deepest emotions. It was like his heat melted the ice around my heart. I knew that I had cried a few days earlier, but it clearly hadn't been enough. Not with the way I was feeling now. I pressed my head against his chest. He was tall and firm, strong and confident. He was exactly what I had dreamed of having in the future. When I'd been in school, I thought that Leo could that for me, I hadn't ever dreamed that I would truly find it in a situation like this.
The dam in my head snapped, and ice started falling from my eyes. I cried, but held back my voice. I didn't want to be so obvious, in case Leo had been home,
I held onto Nathan's sleeve, knowing the ice was spreading on his sleeve, but he didn't seem to care. He pulled me tighter and I felt his warmth soothe my tense muscles, his fingers pressing into my back. He simply held me silently. No expectations, no pressure, just quiet support. All he wanted from me, was to see the true self that I kept buried. I knew now that he had always seen through me. In school, and the chaos, and in the life we had now. We were safe now, and he knew exactly how to help me reach my heart.
His warm fingers stroked the back of my head, his way of saying that I'd be alright.
Minutes passed into a half hour, but it felt like so much longer,and the tears stopped. No more ice. No sign of having ever existed. I was 16, and I didn't have any family. I had made my own family with everyone else, but even they didn't know the emotions in heart. They were all so much more secure in their own lives, that Nathan was the only one to see who I truly was.
"I, um...I'm sorry" I said, barely above a whisper.
"It's alright. It took some time, but I was able to work through it all, and, eventually I was able to move on. But you didn't get that chance. Everyone turned to you to be a mother figure, and it isn't good for you. It really wasn't right of them to force this role on you, but you still held on for so long. And you're safe now, so it's time for you to heal."
I laced my fingers with his, feeling the need to reassure him of...what? I didn't know.
He squeezed my hand, giving me a sympathetic smile. He knew what I was going through, better than anyone and he was on my side. I didn't know if I could ever truly be the girl he wanted me to be, but it seemed worth the try. It wouldn't be easy, but I would find a way to let him past my walls. Past the mask of leadership.
I stood up and walked over the the window, followed by Nathan. He wrapped his arms around my waist, standing behind me, and leaned his forehead against where my neck and shoulder met. It was strangely comforting, standing in the moonlight. It was rather romantic.
I turned around to face him, his arms staying around me. He was a few inches taller than me, my forehead only reaching his lips, so I had no trouble reaching up to kiss him. It was probably rather forward of me, but it felt right. He started out hesitantly, perhaps thinking that if he pushed too hard I would pull away from him. He relaxed and started to kiss me back, leaning in close, steaming where our lips were connected.
I hadn't ever actually been like other girls my age, even when I was normal. I'd never been more than slightly interested in dating. I'd liked Leo but not to the point where I craved the very touch of him. Not liked how I felt when kissing Nathan. His heat burned, but I liked it a lot more than I probably should have..
A knock sounded from the closed door and we both tensed.
"Kim?" Leo's voice called "You up?"
I took a breath, stepping toward the door, hoping Leo wouldn't notice my pale blush.
"What's up?" I peaked my head around the side of the door, hiding my singed night gown.
"I-I just wanted to talk" he said, sounding timid.
He gave a slight smile, not in his usual flirty manner, and I closed the door.
I walked to the dresser against the wall, and pulled out another night gown.
"D-don't look" I whispered, knowing that Nathan was still in my room.
I glanced over, seeing him looking out the window, and quickly changed, stuffing the ruined clothes into the garbage bag.
"What do you want to tell him about why I'm here?"
"I guess the truth would be best."
"Which is?" He looked at me expectantly. Clearly what I decided would have a large impact on him.
"That we're...you know...together."
He smiled. I'd clearly passed that test. I opened the door and Leo took a step inside, pausing when he saw Nathan.
"Nathan?" He asked tensely "What are you doing here?"
"Same as you, I guess. I wanted to talk to Kim about something." he replied smoothly, stepping close to me.
"I...see...you two are..." his pained expression felt like a punch in the gut. I tensed and thought it would be better to rip of the band-aid quickly.
"we, uh, we have decided to start dating" I stated softly.
Leo's hands clenched at his sides, his shadow fading in and out of visibility.
"When?" He asked, his face shaded.
"I...I told her how I felt during my lunch break" Nathan answered "and she agreed to go out with me."
Alarm bells ran in my head, as Leo's shadow took solid form.