Drinking alcohol early in the morning isn't my thing but for today is exception, we bid our goodbyes to Dad yesterday because he was buried yesterday. And for the whole week in his funeral i always cried, my mother woudn't even speak because i think she is heartbroken. I coudn't even bring myself to ask what happened.
I know my Mom, my parents always loved each other dearly i know she can't get over about his death as well. She didn't cry during these week but i know to myself that she is really sad. The doctor said he died because of too much shock, i didn't know what happened. I am too frustrated to even work, Calla and my close friends is calling me to make me forget all the pain but i really can't move on and be happy just like.
I was never away with my family, and i didn't imagine we would ended up like this. Our perfect family is ruined just like that. "Amora." a familliar voice called me while im sitting here in the sofa holding my bottle of wine while wearing a pink lingerie. I turned around where that voice came from and i saw my Mom wearing a fitted floral sleeveless dress that made her looks like in her twenties. Even though she is already fourthy two.
Her figure and face is not too far from a twenty year old fresh woman, because she had the undeniable beuaty like i also have. We look like a real copy of each other except she looks really fresh while im like a depressed piece of sh*t goddess.
"Where are you going, Mom? You look so happy, while i still can't get over what happened i envy you." i said and took a sip in the wine bottle im holding i saw my mother sighed before sitting also in the sofa where i am sitted. "Amora, you should forget it. Your father would be sad looking at you like this, you still have loads of works to do, the law firm is in your hands now. You are born strong Amora, you're not weak like this so you should forget about it. You should move on like i am doing now, forget everything and be happy that's what your father wants us to do."
My mother said with her angelic voice, my mother is like an angel in disguise, her voice is like an angels voice. I bityerly smiled and looked at her with my eyes full of sadness, i want to return back to normal and act as if this would never happened im good at it. But my emotion is beating my acting, i still can't do it.
"Easy to say, harder to do. Mom i just want you to be happy you don't need to console me like this, do everything that would make you happy and i'll agree to everything just don't make me stop mourning for now." i said and took another sip of the wine who will be empty in another sip i'll make, i stopped doing anything when i saw my mother smile ear to ear while looking at me.
I also smiled because i just want my mother to always smile like this even without her love of her life. "I really could count on you, my darling. I really can, im proud of myself that i raised you like this. Amora will you really agree to my happiness?"
She asked and touched my hair i just laughed a little and nodded. "I will, Mom. I will."
"Then what if i say i have a boyfriend?" she asked that made me stopped doing anything i also put the wine bottle in the coffee table out of shock od what she said, i know its just 'what if' but i have a feeling it will ended up as a fact. I looked at her with a serious face im holding, that can't be possible, how could it be possible.
"That must be a joke, Mom. Don't make me laugh right now, Mom im still sad." i said with a serious face but she didn't even flinch nor laugh so it is true?. "Is it true? You have a boyfriend? Mom, how could that be possible? Dad died just a week ago and we buried him yesterday having a boyfriend now is possible. Maybe i'll not be surprised if you say it for two years later or more, but now is impossible, Mom. I don't believe it."
I said and still looking at her seriously i saw her eyes full of sadness, in a minute or more she might cry. But i won't believe it, my Mother isn't like this. She wouldn't have a boyfriend just like that, this is stupid. "Im sorry... i j-just really fall out of love to your Dad i know its too early to tell you this when you're sad b-but i can no longer bring myself to lie for you in another hour or more because i might really burst out because of my lies. Amora, is it bad to find happiness?"
She said and her tears started falling out of frustration i stand up from the sofa and look at my Mom with an awe reaction. I can't believe this, my lips parted because of shock i don't know how to react.
"Mom it isn't bad to find happiness but... but not like this. Please im begging you not like this, my heart is full of pain and you are also stabbing me with pain. How could i longer live with pain like this in my heart? Mom, you aren't like this, you we're happy with Dad you must meet that man just days ago right? Mom you still didn't fall that deeper so please i am asking you to not fall in that fiery pit, right now is the time i can help you get up."
"Its already to late!"
My mother shouted while she is sobbing with tears i was stopped because of her words my tears is now almost falling because of this, how could this happen to us. Why would this happen to us? Is being that b*tch really a sin that God gave me this punishment in return?
"M-Mom what are you talking about? I-It is still not too late, it wasn't late to forget that--"
"I am inlove with him for a year, we are in a relationship for a year, i lied and lied to you and your father for a year! He died knowing this, he died because of shock with this piece of news. You father heard me talking to my boyfriend, we confronted each other and i guess its too hard for him to accept it, he had a heart attack and that killed him. I am guilty so i am here now saying this to you with honesty because i want you to accept this."