I stare at my bedroom once more from the closet threshold. The anxiety of leaving was turning my stomach and I already lost my breakfast and lunch to the porcelain king earlier today. I can't afford to lose what little dinner I managed to eat.
I add the last of my running shoes to my shoe bad and close up my small luggage bag. I empty out my bathroom into small pink bags and add them to the duffle bag. I double check my paperwork and IDs before adding it to the top of my things and closing the bag.
I look around my forest of flowers. I had always loved the enchanted wall of ever blooming flowers.
An array of small amaryllis flowers blossomed repeated thru out the day on every free space of my walls.
I'm going to miss home, I bite back a sob as a knock interrupts my thoughts. Lisa pops her head in.
"The house is completely empty now. We should go before the guys finish all the ale and come looking for a refill," I nod and grab my things and follow her down.
Lisa bites back her questions and leads me to the waiting carriage. I know she has questions but right now I just have to go or I'll cave I still am not certain if this is the right move, but I can understand do this. If I stay I can't control anything.
Bixi can have me but not my child.
The 'AMOURAS 25TH YEAR OF LIFE CELEBRATION' baner above the front door catches my eye. Here I thought there was only one put up was the one above the stairs. Lisa gets ahead of me with my things to grab a carriage, I head to the kitchen for a snack.
I should be by the bond fire listening to my mother tell stories of my youth. Listening to how rebellious I was and how I constantly found a new way to sneak into the forest at night.
I sit alone in a half lit kitchen instead, with a chicken salad sandwich and drown down a cold water.
I can feel the joy and laughter from the fire pits, I am going to miss my home, I'm going to miss what life should be like; to have my child be raised by my people.
I stop the tears and clean up my mess when the front door opens again, "Amoura lets go," i nod and pull out my keys and unhook my house key.
"You don't have to leave that. This will always be your home." Lisa and I both jump at the voice.
I look up to see my mother across the foyer, standing in the threshold of her study, Lisa squeezes her hand and mutters some words to her.
My mother thanks her and she leaves us alone. I walk over to her and hug her tightly.
"I will miss you over all," I lock my arms around my mother. I won't have her when I need her most.
"Then why are you leaving me in the dark?" Layla squeezes me, I smile at the comfort of her words, "why haven't you told me everything?"
Tears swell in my eyes, "I am your daughter, you already know. I just cant say it. Not here, not yet," I say softly before pulling away.
"I am your mother, I did not teach you to run," I smile softly at her.
"I'm not running I'm preparing, besides I am not your only daughter, you are needed here. They need guidance, I know what I need to do," I squeeze her hands.
"You are an Alpha and a leader of this Territory. Despite being your first born I can never be your successor and follow in your footsteps the way they can, so I must make my own and you must train them," I let her go and step back.
"They don't need me the way you did. You needed more Amoura, all this extra knowledge and power isn't needed for one person."
"It's why you had three, spread it between them. You pack has eight Betas why not three Alphas? Maybe then vacationing while being the Alpha would be plausible."
My mother smiles at that and she walks me out to the carriage, arms interlocked. I didn't think I could admire my mother more, but she had to deal with the fear of losing me from day one. I get to flee and protect my child.
I hug her,"Amoura?" I squeeze my arms around her. "I'll do better mom."
She stays there quiet as I hold onto to her, "you're scaring me Amoura."
"Why now? You had ten more years to go before enacting Bixis plan, why the rush?" I smile softly at her.
"Because this is my plan. This is my resolve mother," I pull away and see my mother is studying me.
She locks eyes with me as she cups my face, "Amoura. What are you afraid of?"
I squeeze her hands, as her words shake me to my core, "let me fix this." The carriage wall dematerializes allowing me to get in.
Lisa stretches out her hand for me, I get in and seconds later the wall has fully materialize.
"Rest Amoura I'll take the reins," she gets up and walks thru the wall adjacent to us and makes her way to the rein bench.
As we leave the district behind, I seal ninety percent of my magic into five seals. And the last eight in a two seals, and the last two percent free. I groan as I feel my body weight for the first time in a very long time. Don't being at full strength always felt burdensome.
Exhaution begins to take hold. I'm not use to so little magic, I had just begin to dose off when the warmth in my stomach begins spread across my body.
I open my eyes to watch the magic begin to radiate off my skin, small auroras begin to fill the carriage.
This magic isn't mine, I watch my the soft glow emits from my skin as the magic leaks freely. I sit up and begin to pool the magic together into my hands.
Is this from my child's magic? Is it just because I'm pregnant that my body is naturally doing this? Or is this apart of their magic? Is this all them?
I pull out my watch. It's been less than forty five minutes, how did he produce enough magic to fill my whole body and then some? Are they creating this magic? I would have felt it had they had this much magic to begin with.
This is something only Emmulators can do, how special is this kid going to be?
Will you forgive me Heminsworth? If it's for the best of our child will you understand why I'm fleeing without you? In the grand scheme of things this is just a minor hiccup.
The guilt leaves my chest warm and I hold back the pity party, I'll beg for forgiveness after our child is safe and he is free.
I reach for the dial beside the window and change the carriage layout. My seat becomes a bed under the stars. My mind drifts off to Heminsworth and the clearing I never showed up to.