River
Lockwood, Maine
Present-day
Branches lashed my face as I ran, and my cheek stung where it had been struck. I willed my feet to move faster as fear fuelled my resolve. Overhead, the skies bore no colour, its vastness hollow and devoid of light. Stolen, I fathomed. The moon and the stars were stolen. Oh, how I wished for the brilliance of the moon and stars to shine down on me and illuminate my path. Without any traces of light, my path was obscure, and I was at the complete mercy of these unknown woods and what they had in store for me. But I didn't stop running. Not when I tumbled myself to ground from invisible twigs, not when I felt the sharp edges of brushwood cutting through my raw flesh and certainly not when the paralysing frigid air chilled me to the bone, making me feel extremely exposed and uncomfortable. I was exhausted and wounded, but I advanced deeper into the wilderness or whatever this place was.
Suddenly, I felt myself coming to an abrupt stop. I looked around, feeling scared and vulnerable, yet confident. I jumped three spaces to the side by instinct and continued to dart forward while picking up speed. I knew I was close, but to where, I didn't know. Desperation and trepidation powered each stride as swollen and cut feet throttled my speed. The deeper I ran into the unknown, the safer I felt. The only thing my numbed brain could process in that black space was that I had to keep running, no matter what. Under no circumstances I could stop.
I heard the sound of snapping before the pain registered. My vision turned blurry as pure agony flooded my senses. I'd broken my ankle. Since running was out of the picture, I contemplated on crawling. Under any means I had to keep going. I looked around, my hands trying to grab onto anything within my reach that could be used to hold my broken ankle in place. But the more I struggled, the more I felt as if my consciousness was slipping away. I had very little control as the pain dominated my body, forcing me to succumb to the pain from within. And I did. But not before a startling pair of silver eyes crossed my vision…
"River?"
Something was shaking me.
"River. Wake up!'
I jerked awake.
Opening my eyes, I saw my best friend in hysterics. Fear lined all her remarkable features, making her look so much like a stranger that for a minute I almost didn't recognize her. Something must have happened. Something big. This girl never lost her cool otherwise.
"What happened?" I asked feeling tired as my mouth tasted coppery for some reason. At that point, I wanted nothing more than to curl up and get back to sleep.
She disappeared inside the washroom only to return with a fresh face towel. "You haemorrhaged"
Shock smacked my brain as I stopped squinting to take in my surrounding. She was right. I haemorrhaged. Everything from my pillow to bedsheets was dripping wet with hot fresh blood.
I quickly got up, the full force of losing blood rapped at the core as my body gave in to my weight causing me to lose my balance and fall. A dreadful shriek filled the room and I felt Jade's hands on me, propelling me closer to the bed and finally helping me up.
"Just stay still! For once just sit still" She bit out, clearly irritated.
"Okay. I'm sorry. Just trying to clean up ok. I didn't want your home to smell like a hospital too"
Jade was a doctor. A good one at that. She spent the majority of her life inside an ER, saving lives and stuff whereas I baked cakes for a living. She was no stranger to blood, but the shock of my sudden haemorrhaging must have done a number on her given how evident the rigidness of her posture was. She was already conflicted about her occupation sabotaging her social life, so she kept her home elegant, tidy, and comfy, strictly drawing a line between the hospital atmosphere which was packed with the stench of antiseptics, soap and artificial cleaners.
She dabbed the wet towel all over my face attempting to get rid of all the bloodstains. I didn't dare move a muscle. I let her do her thing and waited quietly with my mouth shut while my mind drifted-off to potential excuses.
I couldn't tell her the truth, nor could I lie when my condition was this obvious. Keeping my mouth shut wasn't an option either. Knowing this woman for twenty years, she was bound to ask questions sooner or later. In that instance, I knew I shouldn't have slept over. I wouldn't be in this situation if I drove my ass straight home last night instead of staying. Then again, I had this planned out. I wasn't supposed to haemorrhage yesterday. I did once at the beginning of this week, so I'd hoped it wouldn't happen again for a while. I thought this bleeding thingy had a pattern and I'd figured it out. But clearly, I haven't.
Jade noticed the change. She saw me getting paler and weaker by the weeks and avoiding sleep overs with her didn't support my case either. That's why I decided to spend the night at her place yesterday, hoping something exactly like this wouldn't happen.
After she was done cleaning my face, she walked to her side-dresser and handed me a glass of water with a couple of pills. 'Take them. It'll help you calm down for now.'
I muttered a quick thank you and swallowed the bitter tablets.
"How often does this happen?" There we go.
I sighed. "Once a week". This was bound to come out sooner or later, I'd figured why not now.
She poured another glass of water and gulped it down like it would be the last glass of water she'll ever drink in this life. I got up, balancing my body this time, grabbed the blood-soaked sheets and began making my way to the washroom.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
No matter how good Jade was as a doctor, I knew she spaced out when it comes to someone she loves in blood. After the accident with her sister, she only had her mom and me. Thanks to becoming an extremely successful doctor, her dating life was just as non-existent as mine was. Hence, a boyfriend was also out of the scenario. If I had told her about my freaky yet regular haemorrhaging, it would have broken her, not that it didn't right now. In fact, witnessing it first-hand must have creeped her inside-out, but for some reason, she didn't lose her marbles yet.
"I didn't want to freak you out." I simply shrugged.
"Yah right. THIS isn't freaking me out" She used hands for emphasis.
Once inside the washroom, I left the door open knowing she'd follow me inside. I opened the tap and drenched the sheets in cold water before turning to Jade.
"I saw doctors Jade. None of them can figure out what's wrong. Remember that workshop I told you about? "
Concentration marked her face followed by recognition. She remembered.
"I lied. There wasn't any workshop. I just needed an excuse to get out of Lockwood without raising questions. I took a trip down-south Maine. Elena told me about a doctor who'd help with this sort of thing. I'd figured why not give her shot."
"I get that. I just don't understand why you would keep something like this from me. I'm a doctor too, Riv. I can't believe you never told me" She sounded hurt while tears pooled at her grey eyes. She was hurting, both from not being able to help me and me keeping this a secret.
I walked towards her, wiping my hand at the back of my jeans to get rid of the water. I pulled her in a hug, reassuring that I was ok and it wasn't her fault. Because it wasn't.
"Hey! Stop doing that. Don't do the whole 'it's my fault' thingy on me. I'm gonna figure it out ok. I promise."
She pulled back "How? You clearly have no idea how serious this is. YOU COULD HAVE DIED!"
She was pissed. Exploding volcano pissed. I could literally picture the fumes coming out of her ears. But I had my reasons too.
"Jade, I didn't tell you cuz I didn't wanna scare you. I was trying to avoid this exact same situation" I replied.
She gave me the look – 'I'm still not forgiving you' and breathed out a heavy sigh. She walked out of the washroom while I scrubbed the sheets with all my strength in hopes of getting the stains off. Two minutes later she came back with a bar of soap and yanked the sheets away from me.
"You lost a lot of blood, go and get dressed. I'll clean these and join you"
"Are we going somewhere?"
"Yes." She stopped scrubbing and looked at me. Her face was devoid of any emotions making it hard to guess what is going on inside her head.
"We're going to see my mother."
After what seemed like an hour, we both sat in the car as Jade drove in silence. Usually, I loved car rides with her. It was our little secret remedy when things got tough. Also, Jade thought it was a great way to overcome my fear of cars after the accident. Thanks to her, I could ride a car as a passenger now, but driving was a completely different nightmare. A trauma that'll never set me free. However, this ride felt cold. Jade was giving me the silent treatment making it obvious that she has yet to forgive me. I clutched the thick fabric of my jacket tighter and pulled it closer for heat. The winter was cold as it is, and Jade's behaviour made it even colder.
"Why are we visiting your mom?" I asked finally breaking the silence.
"She's a psychiatrist remember?"
"Yes, I know that. But what I don't know is why we're going to her place"
"To see if she can help you"
"How can a psychiatrist help me?" I asked puzzled.
Then it hit me. "Wait, you don't think…That's not…. Don't tell me…"
"When you were dressing earlier, I looked at your reports. Your medical reports. Before you say anything, I'm sorry I scrolled through your phone without permission. I will make it up to you, I promise. But the strange thing is your MRI, URA, ECG, TMT and all the other tests results were normal"
I must have looked like a lost puppy because Jade laughed. I hate it when she gets all medical on me and uses big words. Like now, I didn't understand a single thing when the previous doctors had prescribed all sorts of tests for me to do. I just went and did it, hoping that one of them would reveal what's wrong with me.
"A full-body check-up. That's what those tests were. I believe all those doctors you mentioned must have tried to figure out what is wrong with you."
"And they failed" I added grimly.
"I wouldn't blame them. Did they know about the accident?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"It's been five years. They couldn't make a connection. My body has had plenty of time to heal. Like you said, the reports are normal too."
She was silent for a long moment before replying. "That's why I'm taking you to my mom. I think the problem is not your body, it's your mind."
Aunt Cassie's clinic was all the way in Clinton, which is two towns away from Lockwoood. This was going to be a long ride, I thought to myself. I didn't bother making conversation after that. The last thing Jade needs is a distraction. The snow had begun sticking to the ground which made the roads slippery with its ice, a perfect way to die from an accident if not careful. I leaned down on my seat and released my weight, trying to make myself comfortable. The blood loss was taking its toll on me and delayed breakfast meant no energy to recharge myself. My eyelids felt heavy and I could feel sleep taking over.
But sleep didn't come easy. Not that it ever did. Right when I thought I was drifting to silence, a pair of mysterious silver eyes flashed through my head at the speed of lightning.
Not again…Those damn eyes!
But this time something felt off. I jolted awake as a new feeling began to grow inside me. Whenever I saw those eyes, they haunted me in my sleep. This moment wasn't much different except now I wasn't dreaming.