"Ok wait, so before we go inside, does your mom know about the whole haemorrhaging incident?" I asked quivering in the cold, as wintry air crept through the fabric of my jacket as soon as my feet hit the snow. We were standing on Aunt Cassie's driveway when I looked over the car hood and realized I wasn't the only target of the brutal weather. Jade shivered as much as I did, maybe even more so.
"I didn't get the chance to tell her" she replied and began making her way to the front door when I grabbed her hand and pulled her back.
"Can we like, keep that a secret?"
As much as I hate lying, keeping secrets wasn't my thing either. Secrets have a way of weighing you down, they are heavy and bothersome.
"No. She deserves to know" With that, she freed her hand from my grasp and rang the doorbell.
"Why that little…." Sometimes I wonder how in the hell I befriended such a heartless hellion. It was her sweet little revenge for keeping my condition a secret. This is precisely why I hate secrets. They come back with a name-revenge, to bite you in the ass. I scowled and hurried after her. If I stayed outside any longer, it wouldn't be just revenge who'd get bite my ass.
An older version of Jade stood at the foot of the foyer with both arms widely stretched out to us with a warm smile that bolstered her kind features. I didn't realize how much I missed her until she wrapped me in a tight hug, kissing the top of my head while the familiar scent of rosewood soothed me. Her auburn hair was few inches shorter than I recalled but other than that, she was still the same beautiful fifty-year-old women from my memory.
"How you doing old lady?" I spoke up, smiling helplessly. God, I missed her.
"This old lady missed you little rascals. I see you're wearing makeup. Oh and Jade, have some mercy for the jacket would you? It looks new." Aunt cassie went past me to help Jade who seemed to have waged a war against her coat.
"Ugh! The stupid thing won't come off…" I laughed at her which earned me a death glare. Jade dishevelled was truly a sight to behold.
After they resolved their little jacket crises, Aunt cassie led us to her living room. I took in the sight before me, noting that she had changed her furniture. Unlike Jade, Aunt Cassie was all about extravagance in simplicity. She had re-organized her home to look more austere yet lusher than it did before. From the crystalline chandelier that hung proudly on the ceiling to the opulent wall mirrors that covered the white bricks, her fittings screamed luxury while the furniture whispered plain.
She was one woman who really knew how to spend her free time and fortune.
"Not that this isn't wonderful, but to what do I owe this surprise? You girls rarely visit me."
I looked at Jade. This was her genius-idea.
"I'm sorry mom, I've been busy with work. I promise I'll come to visit you more often"
"What about you Miss? What's your excuse?" She asked, folding her arms and directly eyeing me.
"I…I…I launched a new signature menu!" Shoot me now. I really should stop lying.
Jade stopped picking at her clothes and looked up at me shocked, while Aunt Cassie mimicked her daughter's expression.
"What I meant was, I was also busy with my café so I couldn't find the time. I'm sorry."
"River are you ok? You sound weird." Jade stood straight sounding concerned.
"I'm great! Enough about me, so Aunt Cass what you been up to lately? Oh, by the way, I love what you've done with the place" I quickly changed the subject trying to sound as normal as possible.
"Thanks, River. For noticing" she sent an icy glare at Jade who seemed lost in thought. "You girls left me so I settled on a new hobby to cope with the loss."
"We didn't leave you, mom. We simply moved out." After Jade was finished brainstorming, she popped right back into the conversation like she never left. Honestly, that creeped me out because I kind of had an idea of what was going inside her head. I bet fifty bucks she was debating on whether to tell her mom about my haemorrhaging or not. Whatever her conclusion was, she settled on a neutral face and looked at me so that her expression didn't give her away.
"Mom, we need to talk"
Aunt Cassie tensed. So did I. Gone was the sarcasm in her voice, replaced by urgency. I pleaded with my eyes, begging her not to tell her mom because the last thing I wanted to be was a walking reminder of her dead daughter.
She broke the stare, completely ignoring my sincere pleas.
"River's sick"
I should have killed her when I had the chance.
"WHAT?" I've never heard Aunt Cassie shout.
It was terrifying.
No, it was painful.
"She haemorrhaged to death this morning. With that much blood loss I don't even know how she's standing like that." Jade finished.
Pain crossed her feature, followed by fear and worry. I didn't appreciate Jade spilling about my problem without asking me, but I knew she was scared just like I was.
Till this morning I didn't want to accept the gravity of my symptoms. Since all the medical reports were normal and my body showed no other signs of break-down, I had fooled myself into believing I was okay and this was just temporary because I despised being sick and weak.
I had already died once and I didn't want to die again.
"Calm down Aunt Cass. I'm fine okay." I said while reaching out to touch her.
She yanked me by the shoulders and examined every inch of my face, being very careful not to miss a single spot. After she was done with my face, her eyes moved on to my body and I couldn't help but realize that I was putting this woman through her worst nightmare.
"Not you too…" She whispered, teary-eyed as hurt spanned her face.
Aunt Cassie wasn't just my best friend's mother; she was also mine even if she didn't give birth to me. She was a constant in my life just like Jade since our baby days, mostly having to do with her being my mom's best friend. After my folk passed away, she took me in, gave me a place to call home and tried her best to fill the void my parents left behind. At that time, there were four of us living under this roof.
I never knew much about Jade's dad, except that he left them, and I doubted Jade knew much too. Aunt Cassie never spoke about him and Jade never brought it up. I wouldn't know even if she did, because it was their business and at that age, I'd already learned my lesson to not cross certain boundaries.
We were a happy family until Jo, Jade's sister suddenly passed away. Her death scarred all of us and we all found our own ways to deal with the pain. Even through all that misfortune, Aunt Cassie never lost sight of me and Jade. She always remained a constant in our life even when we both moved away, occasionally making visits and calling once a week to make sure we were safe and happy.
She was one of my persons and you should never make your person cry. I drew her in a hug hoping to calm her trembling hands. She squeezed me tightly, afraid that if she didn't, I'd leave too, just like Jo did.
"I'm really fine Aunt Cass," I assured her.
The two of us sat near the portable heater, relaxing to the additional warmth it offered with a steaming cup of coffee in hand.
Finally, breakfast. One sip of strong caffeine was all it took to revive me back to life.
"Toast will be ready soon. I'm sorry I didn't prepare breakfast beforehand. I didn't want the food to go cold in this weather." Aunt Cass announced as she joined us in silence. " Did you girls fight or what? Why the silent treatment?"
I felt the weight of two sets of eyes on me, one curious and the other furious. Obviously we fought. How can any person in their right mind do that to their mother?
Earlier when Aunt Cass relaxed and left for the kitchen to get started on the coffee, I used that window of opportunity to give Jade a piece of my mind. We went back and forth until I made my point clear. I respected and adored the fact that she cared about me, but losing one child is enough. She didn't have to put her mother through it again, even unintentionally.
"I have a few friends in the industry. One, in particular, can definitely help you. He's an industry-best, quite popular too, a former alumnus actually. Anyways the point is, don't be scared. Nothings gonna happen to you as long as I'm around." Aunt Cassie broke the silence while determination and confidence backed her tone.
"That's not gonna work. Does anyone want more coffee cuz this conversation is gonna be long?" Jade filled-in as she stood up and walked away.
"What's she talking about? What won't work?"
"I don't think your friend can help me," I replied. "I went to see a lot of doctors and spent a truckload of money on all sorts of tests, Aunt Cass. Nothing seemed to be wrong with my body. The reports said the same thing. Either they were negative or normal."
"I don't understand…then why did you haemorrhage? Jade said you lost a lot of blood. And don't even think about lying to me young lady. I can see pale skin even under those layers of foundation you seem to have rubbed on yourself. I knew something was up the moment you walked in." She went from confused to scary in a matter of seconds. Her mood swings creeped me out just like Jade's did. Then again, like mother like daughter.
"Really? Is it that obvious I suck at make-up?" I asked honestly. It's true I didn't wear make-up much. In fact, I never wore it at all, at least not properly. I just never had a reason to dress-up. I was happy in my own skin and features even though I was No-Miss-Beautiful like Jade was.
"Is that your biggest problem now?" Speak of the devil. "I think it's the accident mom. Think about it, it's a part of her life she just locked away. We thought she dealt with it, but what if she didn't? What if this is the after-shock that she never had?"
The word 'accident' was enough to trigger goose-bumps in me. It's true I locked that part of myself away, but it wasn't by choice. I had no recollection as to what happened that day. All that 'Accident'' left me was pain. And if Jade's right, it hasn't left me at all…
Aunt Cass seemed lost in thought for a long time before she spoke up. "Jade, you told you have a night shift right?"
"Yah…" Jade answered, unsure of where her mother was going with that question.
"Go home and rest, you need to work. I'll speak with River and drop her home in the evening."
We both turned to her, shocked.
"You're making me go? Why? I want to know what's happening to her too. She is MY best friend!" Jade was milliseconds away from exploding.
"Watch who you're speaking to! I will not tolerate anyone shouting at me under my roof. And this is not something you should involve yourself in, that is even if you are a doctor" Aunt Cassie shot back with an edge to her tone. I felt torn in between the two. I wanted to speak up for Jade but deep-down I knew I couldn't. If this was something Aunt Cass decided as a doctor, then its probably best to listen to her.