The first half of the school day is over, and we're having lunch at the cafeteria. I asked Lisa if she wanted to join me, and she agreed.
"Did you bring money?" I asked her. She looked through her bag but couldn't find her wallet. She looked at me with a depressed face saying, "I forgot," non-verbally.
I smiled and said, "It's okay, I'll treat you to lunch,"
We walked towards the cafeteria together, and the place was crowded with students. I bet she hadn't seen anything as lively as this.
"So, what's your pick?" I asked her,
"I don't know. There are so many options, I couldn't decide," she said, "And I don't really want to burden you so much…"
"Then let's get us some noodles with meatballs. It's amazing, and I think you should try it,"
"Okay," we then went over to the stall and order two bowls and two bottles of sweet tea.
We found an empty table and sat on it. I put some spicy sauce on it with a little bit of sweet soy sauce and mixed the soup with the noodles. Then I pulled some noodles with my fork and ate them. The soup really goes well with the noodle, and that spicy sauce really hits you in the neck. But the sweet soy sauce calms it down and cheerfully dances on your tongue, meaning… I don't know. It's good.
I looked at her, and she rolls the noodles like it was spaghetti and took her first bite. From her expression, I think she likes it.
"This is good! Oh my god, I think I'm going to get addicted to this!" she said as she rolled for another bite. And then she stabs a meatball and chews a piece of it. Then her face was glittering. "This meatball! It's chewy, and I can taste the meat very much!"
I laughed and said, "Well, I'm glad you liked it."
She then finished chewing and said, "Thanks for everything. I feel like my anxiety is gone because of you,"
"Well, it's for old time's sake, without you back then, I wouldn't feel so comfortable being in that environment."
She smiled and then took a sip on her bottle of sweet tea.
"Hmm! This tea is sweet!"
***
"No way! She broke up with him? But they were perfect together,"
"I met this cute first year; I think I'm going to try to ask him out,"
"Hey Cindy, are you okay? You're feeling kinda down today," one of my friends said, waking me up from my train of thoughts.
"Huh? Oh no, I'm okay. I was just thinking of stuff," I told her.
"So, how is it going between you and Jerome?" she asked.
"Huh? What about it? We're just in a badminton team, that's all,"
"Ugh, you're so dense. You're like one of the hottest girls in our school, and he's one of the hottest boys. If you two pair up, you will be a good couple,"
"So? Have you made your move yet? Like we taught you?" another one of my friends jumped in and asked.
I never wanted to be an athlete. One time, I won my first badminton championship in middle school that my parents pushed me into becoming an athlete.
I'm really at a loss when it comes to the reason for living. What's the point of doing things when in the end, you're just going to die anyway? If life is like a floating river, I'll just follow the flow and face whatever obstacles I might encounter.
After then, the most significant encounter I've ever met was calmly floating the river that is life.
"My name is Cindy Marshall, and I would like to be an athlete," I said, introducing myself to the whole class for the first time in the first year of high school.
"Whoa! It's Cindy Marshall, didn't she won first place in the nationals?" I heard whispers.
"She's cute, she's definitely my type," then another whisper except a useless one said.
"That's great. I hope your future will come true. Now next, Samuel-"
Then a loud bang on the door appeared and a boy panting on the door.
"S-sorry… I was late," the boy said.
"Huh~ then please, step forward and tell us your name and your future dream," the teacher said, and then he walked in front of the class.
"My name is Samuel, and I would like to become a full-time author,"
"Wait… his name, I recognize him from somewhere," a whisper said. "That's right! He made that novel that was adapted into a movie! The middle school prodigy, Samuel Knight!"
Everybody in the room was shocked, and I could see him just smiling. He has taken my spotlight, and at that moment, I self-declared myself as his rival. And from that time, I dedicated most of my time practicing badminton. So that I will reclaim the spotlight for myself.
And at that point, I was in a phase where I spent too much time working hard, until one day I fainted and was hospitalized. My parents visited me and were worried sick about me. Saying that I should make a schedule for training so that I wouldn't overburden myself. And then coincidentally, my father bought me a book to read, so I wasn't feeling bored in my recovery.
His book.
I didn't read it. I couldn't bring myself to be close to it, let alone hold it in my arms. It's his fault I feel this way; it's his fault he stole my spotlight. But then, one day, I decided to open his book and read a little. And it suddenly hooked me, and I ended up finishing the book.
He wasn't famous because of his novel; his story was adapted into a movie that got his attention at such a young age. And to be honest, the film didn't really capture what the novel is written. The emotions going through the young characters, the feelings of sadness, regret, and the question the main character always asks: "What if…". The main character's reality is that his loved one does not return the same love as he did, and he was too late to confess his feelings, and she was married to another man. His life in the same world as his loved one, so close yet so far apart.
And the struggles to let go of his feelings in the end. Which leaves the reader thinking whether is he happy or not. And what if he did things differently? Would it be a happy ending, or would it just be another ride on the rollercoaster?
Incidentally, I became a fan.
I wonder how I should approach him; I really want to just be straight-forward. I'll say something like, "I like your book, can I have an autograph." But it's too late for that since it has been a year people have been coming to him for an autograph. Unless I'm a first-year student, plus he's my classmate, it'd feel rude to say that I only recently picked up his book and only recently I've become a fan of yours.
Speaking of fans… I'm surprised no one in this school has asked him out-.
Amid my train of thought, I saw him getting hugged by the new student. I couldn't see his face, but I can see her smile, and a sudden wave of thoughts appear. I quickly ran away and hide. I stood still and hugged his book tight. And then I thought.
Why did I run away? Why do I feel sad after seeing that?