〈Present〉
"I'm no A-List celebrity, but I can do a decent job," I said, confidently telling Vestiarina about my mediocre acting skills. "But why are my acting skills important?"
"To deceive your enemy, you must first deceive your allies." She said, and that was all.
Okay, but that had no context. "What is that supposed to mean in this situation? Who's the enemy and who are the allies?"
"Can't tell you. We couldn't have a smooth operation if you knew."
That sounded like complete and utter bullshit, but she did say that you must first deceive your allies.
"Obviously you know the witch is a target, though." She added. "I don't think you'd need any more information to pull this off even if I could give it to you."
If she was that confident in me I wasn't going to argue. "So, what's the plan? Am I going to pretend to be someone else and do a little convincing when needed?"
"Unfortunately, the acting needed for this job is a bit more complicated than that. I can't tell you much right now. I would if I could, but that was an order, so both of us are going to have to make do."
Despite however my demeanor was until now, this whole experience has been pretty irritating. I tried to cope by brushing it off as something to alleviate boredom, but that quickly stopped helping. In reality, I was more than a little irate that I was basically abducted and was forced into a plot to solve the problems of an organization I didn't care about whatsoever. I wanted to spend time with Ms. Kamiya when things winded down after the previous incident. Nothing like this was in my plans. The least Vestiarina could do is give me more information. I hadn't actually done anything yet, but she already owed me big time for kidnapping me. I was going to get more information one way or another.
"Is that really all you can tell me right now?"
"...There is one other thing I think I can tell you right now. Check the drawer next to you."
At that point, I thought she was making fun of me. I checked every drawer, door, and container in this room, including the one next to me when I looked for my clothes earlier. It was empty. I knew that didn't change, so I humored Vestiarina and opened the drawer. To my surprise, there was a uniform inside. A collared shirt, a blazer, a pair of pants that were not too formal yet not too casual, and a tie. Such a getup was very similar to the academy's uniform. It was good to know it wasn't much different than what I was used to wearing. That was great, but something wasn't right.
The drawer was empty the last time I checked it. That was before Vestiarina got here. If she's been on the other side of the room the whole time, how did the uniform get in there?
"I know what you're thinking about. The uniform was always there."
"No, it wasn't. Don't gaslight me."
"I'm not gaslighting you. I'd be gaslighting you if I told also you that you were crazy."
Vestiarina didn't understand what gaslighting is. Or maybe it's me who doesn't understand what gaslighting is... Wait-
"But you're not crazy. The uniform was there the whole time and you probably just overlooked it while you hurriedly looked for your clothes."
No. "I know that drawer was empty. There is no way that between the time I last checked inside the drawer and right now, you came over here and put that uniform in there without me noticing." This was no doubt a stupid thing to argue about, but you're smoking crack if you thought I wasn't going to defend my sanity.
"What if I did?"
"Did you?"
"No."
"Then how did it get there?"
"I told you, it was already there. I put it there before I left earlier today."
"Prove it."
"I can't. I was out until just recently. Besides, how do you expect me to prove that I put something in the drawer? You were here the whole time. How about you prove that there wasn't anything inside the drawer?"
I would if I could. "It seems this argument has come to a stalemate. Neither of us can prove anything."
"True, but I know that I put it in there before I left. Believe what you want, though. Nothing I can do about it. If it helps put you at ease, think of it as Schrödinger's uniform."
That doesn't work, because I already opened the drawer to look inside! I began to doubt Vestiarina's credibility. Not everyone knows about things like Schrödinger's cat, but if someone knows about it, they're not going to get the very basic concept of it wrong. I wasn't trying to judge her intelligence based on something like that, but I really hoped she and the people who helped devise her plan knew what they were doing.
"...Sure." I tiredly retorted because I wasn't going to correct her. I wanted to keep going with the argument, and I wanted to do anything and everything I could to prove myself right, but I ultimately decided not to. I realized that there wasn't much I could do to prove the drawer was empty, and I also realized how poorly such a caliber of pettiness would reflect on my character should I choose to continue. I was assuming my overall favorability was incredibly low compared to everyone else, so adding on the pettiness that would come from this wouldn't have bothered me that much. I was more concerned with leaving a bad impression on Vestiarina. The feeling of that, the feeling of wanting to make a good impression on someone, was still uncomfortable to me since I only recently started all of a sudden caring about others and what they think of me. I don't know what brought about that change. I wasn't going to try to reverse it though. Being mindful of my reputation with others made my skin crawl, but I couldn't do anything about it, and I knew it wasn't a bad thing if others thought well of me.
Even though I couldn't sink any lower in my own mind, and I would easily be able to shake off the pettiness that would come with continuing our argument, I thought 「Whatever, I guess it's better if she doesn't think I'm petty,」and decided to drop the subject.
That was when I got an idea, and a decent idea it was. If I execute the idea and it goes as planned, I could definitively prove that the uniform was not in the drawer before she came back, making the risk of becoming petty more than with it.
My idea was to enter Focus and find the memory of the drawer being empty when I checked it the first time, but there were a few problems with the plan, the first being that I had no idea if Focus worked that way. All I knew was that I could see memories. I didn't know if I could control which memories I see, or what kind of memories it was capable of showing me. My limited knowledge of Focus was an issue in itself, but it wasn't the biggest hurdle. If I was able to get the correct memory from Focus, and it shows me what I want to see, how would I show that to Vestiarina if it's in my head? There was an equal opportunity to succeed and to fail. Perhaps the chance of failure was actually greater than the chance of succeeding.
It's not worth it. That's the conclusion most rational people would come to after putting all of the factors into consideration. Not me, though. No amount of personality shift, self-reflection, gap moe, or the like could challenge my unwavering refusal to let go of such an insignificant matter. I was going to see this through, no matter the cost.
[Focus.]
My surroundings morphed to reflect my mental state. Just like before, time seemingly halted its flow. Vestiarina was frozen in place.
「This is pretty petty, you know. 」Akua said as she appeared around the corner. Though there weren't any corners. The flow of her movement was as if she emerged from behind a wall. The wall was almost tangible, yet it wasn't there. There was no wall to see, only a weak sensation that felt like the desperate attempt of something trying to grasp onto its fleeting existence. A light essence that, though artificial, shapes itself into the base for what could be. A faint presence.
「Thinking about something?」Akua asked.
「I'm joking. I know you are. There is a wall only if you wish for it. "There is a wall here". If that's what you wish to believe, then it will be. If not, then it shall be so.」I wasn't sure if I exactly followed, but a very feudal-looking wall appeared when I thought "There is a wall here".
「Interesting.」I said.
「This place takes the shape of your mental state. You have no control over that, but you do have control over the layers. I suggest you become comfortable with this because you will need it later, but let's address the matter at hand. To put it simply, despite its nature, this place is not meant to be used as a file cabinet for memories. It is not a photo gallery to view specific memories at your leisure, but it can be used as such for a cost.」
「What's the cost?」
「One year of your life.」
「Done.」
「Are you sure?」Akua responded calmly. I expected her to be taken aback by the quick decision, or at least surprised, but I shouldn't have expected that. I sensed no fear of uncertainty from her. After all, she's existed in my mind for so long. She was just as much me as she was herself. She already knew how I would navigate this situation.
But I wasn't going to back down because my expectations weren't met. 「I'm sure.」I told Akua.
「Very well. I won't stop you. I can't believe that I believe you would sacrifice a year of your life over this.」
I focused my mind on the initial opening of the drawer, and the memory appeared before me, almost like a video. As the memory formed before my eyes, I felt a jabbing sensation throughout my veins. It thought it was quite an odd method, draining one year of blood. Though I didn't have any expectations of how that would work.
It was time for the truth to be revealed. I laid my eyes upon the memory. I was confident I'd see what I wanted to. As I viewed what was essentially a replay of me opening the drawer, the anticipation grew in those short few seconds. I grabbed the handle and began pulling. Slowly, the drawer opened.
It was empty.
As I thought. All that was left was finding a way to-
「Look again.」Akua said loudly. She brought my attention to the memory once more. 「There's something off about this memory.」
I wanted what I saw to be impossible. The very same memory remained, but it had changed. The uniform was there.
「Akua, this place also shows memories of possibilities. Isn't this one?」
「No, it's the actual thing. The memory is corrupted.」
I looked again, and the memory reverted to its original state without the uniform. Not even a second later the uniform reappeared, then vanished, and reappeared, and it continued like that as the visual began to glitch as a video would. I asked Akua how the memory became corrupted.
「You had quite a few corrupted memories already, but you most likely corrupted those on your own due to trauma, certain things you don't want to remember, or various other reasons. It's a cause for concern, but it happens naturally. That's not what we're looking at. Even as a god, I didn't know this was possible.」
「I'm not a fan of how dangerous you're making this sound. Can you spill the beans?」
「The memory was externally corrupted. Whoever or whatever corrupted it wasn't you.」
「Is that possible?」
「Not sure. The psychological capabilities of Casts are limited. This is like gaslighting someone using magic somehow.」
The fact that she knew about magic but didn't tell me was a matter I wanted to discuss, but it didn't matter at that moment. When Akua said "gaslighting", it hit me.
I had a new idea. But instead of an idea, it was more like a hypothesis, or an inference. However, just like my last idea, there was a large possibility of error, and I didn't have much to base it on. If I was wrong, I'd have hell to pay.
I was still willing to take that chance.
「Where are you going?」Akua asked.
「To get a confession.」
As I exited Focus, Akua gave me a warm smile, something I never thought I would receive from her. She didn't speak, but her warm expression told me "You're smarter than I thought". It felt genuine, but in her words also was her signature blend of sarcasm and snarkiness, as if to remind me that she hasn't changed and that she's still the same pain in the ass I've come to know and love.
The area around me reverted to the hotel room, and the time that appeared still seemed to flow again.
I turned to Vestiarina. "Anyway," she started. "That's your uniform for-"
She put on a frightened expression. "T-Takuya?"
Vestiarina was facing down the barrel of the gun I aimed at her. "Your real identity, affiliation, and objective. Now."
"I've told you everything I'm allowed to. I suggest you relax, or I'll have no choice but to- Agh!"
Vestiarina bent forward, losing balance due to the pain. Blood dripped from her right palm. Grunting, she lifted her head towards me. With unbelievable hypocrisy, she dared to ask me "W-Who are you? You're not Takuya."
"Huh? What do you know about me? My character has nothing to do with this. Every time you don't tell me what I want to hear, I'll blast metal into one of your hands, feet, or whatever you have left."
Vestiarina let out a scream and produced her sword. An array of energy enveloped the blade as she charged at me.
"Woah there." At an inhuman speed, I Kaiju morphed my left arm and grabbed her imbued sword. The physical strength alone completely stopped her movements. I crushed her sword and threw her into the wall. A bullet entered her left palm.
"I'm not asking for much." I said as I rushed at her. "I want you to tell me about yourself, and I want the truth. That's all."
"If you're practicing your acting, you've gone way too far." Vestiarina exclaimed, coughing up dust.
"Hmm, I never thought of it that way. Sure, let's go with that. I'm practicing my acting. Speaking of, you kept up a pretty good act yourself, but unfortunately, I'm not convinced anymore. Look, the muzzle is aimed right at your heart. It's your life here. Are you going to reclaim it?"
"Your finger is off the trigger. Indeed, I might not know you as well as I like to pretend, but I know for a fact that you don't want to take another life."
Bingo. There it is.
"...Thanks for the confession. You could have saved yourself a lot of pain if you confessed from the start though."
"What do you mean 'confession'? I know you don't want to do this. We need each other to take down the witch."
"What about the witch? I'm looking right at her."