In my defense, I had no idea what would happen after speaking a word of power. I trusted that Cesarina wasn't trying to lie, but she said 'That's how the story goes'. She hyped up the divine tongue and made it sound like only a small group with the upper echelon of society knew about it, so I figured that no one was brave or foolish enough to test how much the story holds up. Perhaps it was just a fluke, but if the gods did put a seal on the throats of mortals, they got sloppy with mine.
Once it was too late to stop me and I wagered my life for a shred of divine power, I immediately regretted it. I saw Cesarina's expression and I acknowledged that by doing what I did, I spat in her face right after saying that I'd be there for her. I realized that I made her watch her only friend do something she considered suicide right in front of her just after he said he would be there for her. When the damage was done, literally and figuratively, and the bow dissipated from my hand, the guilt of my actions piled on. Regardless of reality, she thought I had thrown away my life on a whim and I was guilty of making her feel that pain after I said I'd never make her feel that. I revealed my real name to her, but I didn't reveal my true personality because I hadn't figured it out. I began caring about others over time, but I couldn't stop worrying that I might have been slowly moving in the opposite direction and was becoming a monster who would sacrifice others for my own benefit. I continued to deny that notion out of fear. I didn't think it could be possible because I felt guilty for my actions. I wanted someone to tell me that feeling remorse meant I wasn't entirely lost, but no one did. I struggled with identity, about who I was and who I am. I couldn't stop what was happening. I could only accept that no matter how much I tried to hold on, I can't be who I was before. For the time being, I thought that if who I was now meant I was able to feel guilt for hurting my friend, perhaps the present me wasn't that bad.
I won't defend how I made Cesarina feel as a result of my actions. That's on me.
But really? All of the windows? Was that necessary? The gods seemed like they were inconsiderate idiots (I know, I'm a hypocrite). If you put a seal on our throats and tell us we can't speak words of power, how would you not expect somebody to try it, let alone prepare for the chance that somebody succeeds? How was I supposed to know that saying it out loud would summon a bow? And it was only a bow! There was no reason to shatter all the windows, you divine dicks. I didn't give a fuck if I was dealing with the consequences of my actions. The gods didn't have to make it so extreme. I looked up and demanded that one of them come down here and fix this. Cesarina promptly asked who I was talking to, and I realized that I looked like an idiot.
Nevertheless, Cesarina made me curious about the elusive headmaster. If she was ever going to come out, it would be now. A swarm of footsteps traveled along the hallway above the classroom, then made their way outside the door. I wasn't given a moment of pause between the time they arrived and when I had to dodge because the door was kicked across the room. On the other side of the door- uh, where the door used to be, stood a tall bespectacled woman who I assumed was the headmaster's secretary. The intimidating aura about her was enough proof. "The headmaster wishes to have a private chat with this young man."
Cesarina didn't protest. She calmly exited the room, which didn't surprise me. She did work there after all. I wouldn't want to lose my job over this if I were her. A few moments after Cesarina left the room, a woman in a black dress with a large bamboo hat and black veil surrounding her head entered. I tried to picture what the woman behind the veil might look like when Cesarina first told me about her. I imagined a middle-aged woman, but she didn't look anything like I thought she would. The headmaster stared right into my eyes as she walked in and her gaze widened. I was confused by the tears that began rolling down her cheeks. She looked as if she was about to start crying, but she kept herself composed. She briskly approached me and grabbed my hands. "It's you." She addressed me as if she knew who I was, which didn't surprise me as I'd met a lot of people who knew me beforehand.
"Have we met?" I politely asked.
She looked dejected. "It was true then."
"What was true?"
"I don't think I'm fully prepared for this," she said to herself. "But here goes." The headmaster took off her hat and removed her veil. Behind the black shroud was a beautiful woman no older than thirty-five. Her crimson red hair was neatly tied back with a hair stick. "My name is Ekaterina, and you were my husband in your last life."
Excuse me?
Whoops, I said that out loud.
"You really have forgotten everything."
Ekaterina called Cesarina in to catch her up, which was proceeded by Ekaterina dropping the biggest revelation I had heard thus far.
Kisaragi Reon wasn't a name that I picked by chance. When Vestia told me to choose an alias, that name instinctively came to mind because I lived once before as Kisaragi Reon. Interacting with different objects doesn't resurface my knowledge, it recalls memories of a past life. It was so outlandish to consider, but it was far more believable than 'I knew about these things, then I forgot, but looking at them makes me remember them again'.
"I guess that's why I can also read and speak the divine tongue."
Ekaterina was perplexed. "You only knew a few basic words of the divine tongue. There's also not a single mortal who can break the seal put on us by the gods."
Then where did I learn it and how did I break the seal?
"About that," Cesarina interjected. She explained the bow, the windows, and all that.
"It's hard to believe, but it's not that shocking since it's my husb- er, it's you. I'm sorry. It's so strange for me to look at my husband's face and think 'This is Inotani Takuya, not Kisaragi Reon'. Although you look just like you did when you were in high school."
"If it helps, I'm going by Kisaragi Reon for now. By the way, who was I? Who was Kisaragi Reon?"
"The most amazing person I knew. Kind, compassionate, and caring. You used to defend those who can't defend themselves. Those closest to you knew that you would never let them get hurt. Your determination was unwavering and you would do everything you said you would. You didn't allow anything to get in the way of the world you wanted to make for yourself and your companions. To that end, you even challenged heaven despite your strength paling in comparison to the gods. You weren't always that way, though. You used to be a pessimist who chose to socially isolate and didn't care about anyone. You were apathetic about everything back then."
I used to be pessimistic and apathetic in this life and my past life. The difference was that in my previous life I became an objectively good person, and in my current life, I didn't know who I was becoming.
"Sounds like I eventually turned around. I used to be pessimistic and apathetic as well. I can't say I'm going to turn out as well as the past me did, but it might be too early to tell. Oh, since it's on my mind, I know we were married, but how did you know me before that?"
"I was your homeroom teacher throughout high school."
Some things don't change!
"...Interesting. Well, sorry about the windows. I'll pay for those once I get a job. I... just moved to the area. Yeah. Also, I know I've caused a lot of trouble, but I'd appreciate it if you would let me lead a regular student life here. I really need to be able to do that."
"Of course. I won't say a word about anything discussed in this room. Both Kisaragi Reon and Inotani Takuya are welcome here, and don't worry about the windows."
I told Ekaterina that I appreciated her kindness and knowledge as I left the room for no reason other than I forgot what I was doing and my brain started moving me on autopilot. While I was walking out I overheard Ekaterina say to herself "He hasn't changed". She attempted to leave the classroom shortly after me, but I also overheard Cesarina say "Headmaster, I'd like to discuss some things with you." in a vindictive tone. I wished Ekaterina luck and didn't look back.