Good night, off to bed I go.
Hide the pacifier in the tissue box, get the blanket, flat pillow and close my eyes.
Oyasumi.
"Ichi, ni, san, shi, go, don't leave me alone.
6,7,8,9, I will physically sleep except my mind is awake.
I walk to the bath and sit in the cold water, hoping I can go into another world"
I see this man, he wears a suit and sometimes he likes to watch me sleep.
Recently, he hasn't been here to protect me and it scares me.
Last month, he took me to the best ballroom ever, he held my hand while teaching me to waltz. I truly felt like a princess. Sometimes people call me "Princess" whether it's a nickname or trying to flatter me. Either way, have I told you about the ballroom mommy?
I remember when mommy would make really yummy cakes. When her soul was ready to leave this world, I ate the cake slice she left for me. I heard her humming every time I took a bite. Strawberry cheesecake, my favorite. I really do lose things sometimes but, I can only remember things from when I was given a different name. "Ladybug" was a girl who was everyone's big sister. She'd help people, smile and play whenever she could. When she was twelve, she didn't see color anymore. It was only when she kept the pillows her mother slept on that put her to sleep.
Mizu is the same way. She was the quiet type who was very chaotic. Everyone preferred her over Ladybug and eventually deleted Ladybug from the database. Now that Mizu had everyone's attention, she wanted to make sure none of them left. Every time Mizu opened her arms to someone, they'd grab a sword to puncture her heart. Until her doll had so many needles that she broke.
Peachie or Peach, is Mizu. She gave herself a hard reset to wash her problems away. One day, Peach made a friend in dance who was openly gay. Oh boy did she love them but she also liked a guy. Knowing that her queen would just think it was a joke, she never told the queen who she was. For years in denial, Peach just had the mindset of following social norms. She must wear bright colors, she must smile, show empathy and make the house look tidy. She did her best to learn how to be a girl.
Mirae is the future. She does hide and shine at the same time. She will squeal when she is happy but does she really mean it? Eventually, Mirae wanted to be She/They and no one really respects it. Yet she is supposed to be bold and tell people what she will respond to! "Tell me how the kitchen looks Mizu."
"I- It looks nice but, my name is Mirae."
"Thanks Mizu!"
Mirae doesn't understand the world yet, she's already convinced that she should laugh away her pain and cry when she is happy. She will sit down at a party and try to find someone to comfort her loneliness. She will stay in her room with the door locked, unless you have orange slices. She even convinced her doctor to prescribe medication to help her appetite. The only thing it did was reset her mental state. One minute she felt sane while other times, she would sit there on her bed. Once, she smiled so hard, she laughed in public and eventually, imagined that people she idolized were friends with her.
She's healing though. The old medication still affects her at times but just tell her to sleep if she stares at the wall for too long. Mirae wants to fix herself and get used to introducing herself to her friends from before.
The girls just miss their mom but Mizu and Mirae have to open up about their feelings first so that their physical form can work in harmony.