I gave you something sweet. Why didn't you like it?
I gave you something sweet. Yet you refused to try it.
"I remember comparing myself to a leech."
I gave you more of that sweetness and you finally ate it.
I was happy.
Month after month I have fed you the same ice cream and you claim that it's too much. My eyes couldn't see beyond the malware you pushed aside.
My eyes, dry from the tears I shed over someone to who I continued to give ice cream.
I stayed up late, thinking about them.
I stayed restless for almost 2 months.
Now I sit here having a mental breakdown because my heart is dust!
I gave you the ice cream that made me happy,
I gave you the things I wish people said to me.
Giving my all was considered, so I did.
I did my best to hold back my feelings. For..just a moment,
I let them motivate me in the morning.
I just wanted to have something to keep for once. I just wanted to be the little spoon sometimes.
The ice cream to a banana split.
My brain learned how to smile. I've unlearned that.
My brain learned to be happy. I want to feel that.
So how come I have learned to cry instead of laugh?
Why can't I laugh it off, it won't bother me!
You- You see this smile?! Look at my smile!
I am tired of the lies, it hurts me.
My heart was glowing, it glowed brighter than the sun.
The light and the fire that was in it..it's gone.
It's rare when I cry around other people.
Instead of being upset for one thing, it seemed that I was more upset about showing how upset I can be.
" I'll go back in my shell. I don't want to come out nor do I want to see anyone. I'll stay in the void and let whatever is eating at my heart consume it. I am done with showing everyone who Mizu is. I don't think Mizu will ever understand how she'll be able to heal when she wants to be Isolated. Some day she'll just pretend to be asleep or sound tired so she doesn't have to say anything. Eventually she'll just go away like Ladybug did so that Mirae can take over. Maybe Mirae will have a better soul so that if she meets her bowl, they'll be comfortable enough to keep each other happy."
I just wanted to share my bowl of Vanilla Ice Cream but I'll watch it melt instead.