After Leon disappeared, another man burst into my life. Is that really how it works? When one person leaves, comes another? But to replace the previous one, it is impossible.
But man is selfish, so he always sees a new life in front of him.
And maybe I, too, when I opened the door of my house and saw on the doorstep a man almost the same age with me, I realized that this man will bring something new into my life.
I realized that this "something new" would be something incomprehensible and ghostly, and that from these snake eyes of amber color, all shades of malice and pretense will be visible. But no, he was just a guest.
Leon disappeared from my life, and it's been exactly a week since then.
I've never felt more devastated than I am now.
I've moved away from the subject. And so, a knock on the door and a tall man in a black turtleneck and in black jeans stood in front of me.
He was in no hurry to say anything. His gaze was cold and empty. I couldn't understand his emotions. After all, his facial expression was completely frozen. And those hairs that touched his sharp shoulders reminded me of the image of a snake.
"How can I help?"
He smiled a little, but then he immediately became very serious.
To my surprise, now, Minister Leila was on her way to my house.
Today she was wearing a black jacket, and black trousers. And her slender neck was adorned with a light red scarf.
Her short hair was perfectly combed back, which created her image to look like this man.
"Good afternoon professor," Leila said.
"Good afternoon Ms. Leila," the man said still without telling me who he was.
I was wondering when he was introducing himself. Who is he and what is he doing here?
Leila looked at me and then at him. "Professor Skyemoone, we need to talk to you."
"Of course, come in."
It was only when his foot came on the doorstep of my house that he said, "Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Adam. I work in the ministry."
Adam from the ministry, and that's all you need to know.
Now, there were two people from the upper classes in my house.
"Please sit down," I said, trying to behave naturally even though I wasn't expecting any guests.
Noticing the Dreamer lying on the chair, Adam said, "I don't like cats. No wonder you love them."
I didn't like the tone with which he said these words. And I didn't like his look, which was directed to almost every corner of my house.
And I, a brave writer, despite the fact that in front of me sat very influential and important people of society, asked, "What do you want from me?"
"Yes. You probably already know why we're here," Adam said, leaning against the back of the couch.
"Have you come to talk about my book? If that's the case, I'm already getting a lot of threatening emails and that I need to stop it all."
"You know you've ruined this world," he said sharply, raising his hand in a sign that Leila wouldn't say anything until he stops.
"I'm listening to you," I said, feeling utter indifference to everything that was going on. To be honest, I've already gotten tired of what's going on in the world right now.
"Because of you professor, countries lose the best workers. Because of you professor, people have become too happy to contribute to society," he said, and now I've seen him get very nervous.
"People are happy, I think that is not so bad."
"What do you allow yourself? Do you know what kind of mess you've created around the world? What kind of book is this? You just agitate everyone. You affect their consciousness. You should be recognized as the enemy of everyone."
"I didn't think that soon, writers would become agitators," I said, still feeling utter indifference.
"You do it on purpose, don't you?" But I can't tell you if you're a villain, or a good man who just decided to save everyone and teach them to be happy."
I looked at Leila, but she continued to sit silently. It was not clear from her face what her mood was.
"I'm tired of saying that I just wrote a book. And anyway, what do you want from me? You know it's not you or me who can't change what's going on right now. People, for the first time in the history of mankind, became happy. They started living. For the first time, poverty has simply disappeared from the face of the earth. You think someone can stop it. It's time for you to get used to the fact that everything is new now. It's a new world. And you should follow this new world, too."
"I respect every thought of yours. And I fully support him," Leila suddenly said. Adam wanted to object to her, but she kept saying, "But Professor Skyemoone, I'm afraid of what this could lead to. Happiness is a human engine, but at the same time, it is like a car break. And what if soon, people simply cannot control their happiness?"
"They just do what they like. Look, in all this time, crime has decreased in the world. Everyone has become much kinder and more patient. Isn't that what you've always wanted? A peaceful country? A world in which it is quiet and peaceful?"
"You don't understand anything. You and your friend Luca, whom you have so well supported in his plan to open a fund with a huge amount of money," Adam said, addressing to her.
"Why didn't you stop him then? He still uses the money of the government. Why didn't anyone stop him? That's right, because, now, everyone's busy with their lives. It's time for you to come to terms with it," I said, and went into the kitchen.
"In the history of mankind, there have always been people who created a chaos. And do you know what happened to them afterwards?"
"Are you threatening me?"
Perhaps Leon's disappearance affected me so much that I became indifferent.
"Don't think we'll leave it like this. People like you, sooner or later, start to regret their actions," he said and nervously left the house.
I knew his goal was different. But he knew the whole situation, and the fact that he could do nothing to me or my book.
The chain reaction has long since begun. And he knew that very well.
Later that day, I went to university.
Today, I was waiting for my students, who had a clear interest in their chosen subject.
A lot of time passed, and therefore, everything gradually calmed down. And when I started teaching, I found myself again.
Throwing my briefcase on the table, I took off my jacket, and looked around.
Now, instead of tired faces, in front of me sat happy, energetic people who wanted only one thing - to return the lost time and opportunity.
These were people who always dreamed of getting a higher education, but who could not do it because of the lack of money.
They were the people who remade their past.
I looked at everyone and suddenly noticed that something in them had changed. But what exactly?
The sun beamed through the high windows and past, a small bird flew.
I knew it was time for me to start the lecture, but I couldn't. My soul was empty. I couldn't find the right word.
Is it depression? Because of Leon? I'm sure the reason was different.
With my eyes down, I began to look at my shoes, which sparkled with cleanliness.
What was going on with me?
"Professor, are you alright?" a woman in a green dress asked me.
"Yes. I just have a headache."
"Maybe you should rest. Following the fact that there are various rumors about you, you must be exhausted. Go home, get some sleep."
"Professor, can I ask a question?" asked a young man who had a very kind face.
"Of course."
"What is your dream? Maybe you should follow your dream. If you decide to leave us, we won't blame you, because you've already done too much for us. It is time for you to begin to live as your great heart commands you."
I smiled. I liked listening to his quiet voice.
"I'm fine," that was all I could say then.
Noticing Ethel at the very end of the audience, I smiled at her and said, "Well, today we will continue the biography of Socrates and then return to the discussion of reality."
An elderly man sitting on the front row suddenly said, "Professor, you shouldn't make yourself smile when you're feeling sick."
"I'm fine. Don't think about it. And so, let's continue," I said and began the lecture. And for the first time in my life, I didn't hear my voice.
The headaches began to gradually return. And I guess everyone noticed it, after a few minutes, a woman in a green dress said, "Professor, you shouldn't be giving a lecture today. Go home and rest. Think about it. You made us all happy, you taught us to dream and live our lives, maybe it's your time to start living."
"Yes, she's right. Professor, we can see that something is bothering you. If you're here for us, don't do it. And if you are offended, if you are accused of creating a chaos around the world, then do not listen to them, know that we are always ready to stand up for you. We are always with you, Professor."
"I know. Thank you," I said and felt a slight dizziness.
I looked at everyone, and when did people become so kind?
Later, when I was alone, Ethel came up to me and hugged me in silence. I was surprised by such a sharp display of tenderness.
"Skye, what upsets you? What's wrong with you?"
"I don't know. It feels like I'm getting lost," I replied, and I didn't give much importance to my words.
Ethel looked at me and said, "Maybe it's time for you to change your life.
"I don't even know what I need to change."
"You taught people to be happy and not to do things they don't want to do. You gave them freedom. So, what now? Are you suffering? Maybe it's time for you to be a part of the world."
"I don't know. You know, for the first time, I feel so lost."
"Is it really about Leon? He's gone, and you've become like that."
"No. But in a way, you're right. Except it's not just Leon. I don't know, but sometimes I feel like I've really done something bad."
"Are you about the book?"
"Yes," I said.
"Are you afraid that everything will change?"
"No. I do not know. Ethel, I really don't know. I've become such a stranger to myself."
"It means only one thing."
"What?"
"It's time for you to rest. It's time for you to find yourself."
"You suggest that I go to Luca's office and tell him about my dream, and then he would give me a lot of money for nothing? And then what? Travel?"
"Maybe yes. Travel is always a good thing."
I put my head on her shoulder and closed my eyes. Sensing her hand on my hair, I whispered, "Maybe I don't know what I'm dreaming about."
"You wrote a whole book about dreams and life. Now you don't know what you're dreaming of? Skye, how beautiful you are."
I suddenly felt amused by what I heard.
"Let's go. I want to show you something," she suddenly said, pulling my hand, moving toward the door.
On the way, sitting in her car, I said, "What if something happened to him?"
"I don't think so. Leon is a mysterious man. I think he's just giving you time," Ethel said as if she knew him better than I did.
And the next thing I remember was that when Ethel stopped the car, we ended up in her studio, where she showed me my portrait.
On canvas, she portrayed me in a way that I didn't recognize myself.
These incomprehensible facial features seemed like strangers to me. Those eyes, which were not that empty, not that full of feelings, seemed to me not alive.
For a moment, it seemed to me that in the portrait, it was not me.
But what was it in the reflection of my eyes? I came closer and noticed in the gleam of my eyes, the reflection of Leon.
"When I was painting your portrait, you looked at him endlessly, so I decided I'd draw him in your eyes," Ethel said.
"It's unbelievable. You're just a magician," I whispered, still wondering that Leon, who was reflected in my eyes, looked much more realistic than I did.
It wasn't my portrait. It was his portrait. And I think Ethel knew about it, too.