he descended the stairs hesitantly should he watch the tapes?there'd be no going back...would he be able to handle what he'd done?
as he reached the locked filing cabinet his 14month old son came running in.
"dada I food me food "
he smiled maybe he'd come back because right now his boy was famished.
"ok little guy dadda make you food"
as they made pancakes and mess amy appeared at the door a gentle smile on her lips,what a scene one she never imagined but 2 yrs ago now was her new very real reality.
"honey aren't you tired?you been so busy with accounting this week...come sit I'm almost done".
she yawned nodding and took a seat,Noah was adding fruit to his pancakes and Simon passed her a cup of tea as he placed it down he stood behind her massaging her tired shoulders.
"emmm that so good si....my neck is done in"
he pecked her lips whispering "maybe I could do a full body massage huh?"
she reddened at his statement
"maybe I will take you up on that"
he sat opposite her while Noah babbled his baby stuff to his toy car.
"amy I really need to see the tapes...I feel schizophrenic I'm this one person whom I think I am but on the other hand theres a pressure on my brain trying to break out...I dont think it will hold the dam of memories much longer anyway....isn't it better I know before?"
amy shifted uncomfortably "I think it's best we ask dr Langford if you feel like this....these are uncharted waters you'll be stepping into and it could well back fire could be dangerous even,I'm in no position to protect us "
he looked hurt at her statement and said tenderly "amy do you think I'd put you and Noah in danger far from it. I'd never hurt you your my wife and I love you"
she shrugged slipping a statement out her mouth before thinking "didn't stop you before "
she covered her mouth in horror.
he stood abruptly "that's not fair amy...that's so uncalled for "
he slammed his fist on the table and walked out went to the front door and slammed it hard as he left.
she felt tears roll down her face as Noah stared in horror ,never had he seem this type of emotion from anyone....it scared him and he cried running to his mums lap.
"momma dada scary"
she smiled at her baby hoping he'd never see just how scary daddy can get.
"no baby dada tired ok"
he stopped crying and nodded ok.
she picked him up putting on his favorite cartoon while she planned to clean the kitchen.
40 minutes later he stood at the office of dr Langford and buzzed.
"hi how can I help " asked the polite receptionist.
he asked to meet dr Langford and after 1 hours wait he was called.
"mr zahir what brings you here today? "
he sank into the sofa defeated he fisted his hair in frustration, he was losing it.
dr Langford looked with concern and noted his demeanor down as he began to intrude.
"any headaches strange visions or relaspes?"
simon looked straight at him in complete darkness "I'm pretty sure you know something is wrong.....this shit isn't working....I'm not in control over my emotions and yes I'm having visions but of when I was a child"
dr Langford noted that and appeared apprehensive but as all experts do he continued.
"ok simon I need to tell you something but I'm not sure if you are ready to hear it"
simon sat straight eagerly awaiting what he had to say "I'm ready.... if I'm not keep me In i dont care i promised her..i dont want to hurt her anymore"
and that's where it began a storm which had no mercy,a wave which caused a tsunami in his life.
after 3 hours and a tranquilizer dr Langford breathed a sigh of relief and dialled for Mrs zamiloon
meanwhile amy became anxious calling simon many times she'd prepared lunch long ago .Noah was asleep and she boredly sat waiting flipping through her accounts once again damn VAT Bills so complicated as she signed a page her phone rang.
she picked it up in a rush "where are you?"
mr Langford spoke calmly "mrs zamiloon your husband has been sectioned. dont worry he just had a session with me and I decided he wasn't fit to leave-"
she cut him off "mr Langford what are you doing to him?he's not some lab experiment,I'm not sure you have his best interests at heart...I'm coming to get him"
Mr Langford ruffled his hair in frustration as she cut the call...didn't he make it clear this was a trial and he would support them.
he was world renowned for dealing in trauma specifically trafficking but that didn't seem to resonate well with many regular psychologists whom said this type of trauma required medication as well.
as he sat down with his coffee he remembered his wife who committed suicide only 4 years prior due to the very method others suggested he breathed out releasing some tension.