Holding into my husband face, make my realize how much we haven't seen each other through out the year, not months, or week, years, we to busy ourselves that we haven't been able to see or talk with each the way we used too. And right this moment it make me realize how selfish we have been towards ourselves and feeling, and mostly him, he probably thinking we fallen off, and James outburst only cracks the shell of our relationship that it on a breaking point.
Talk to me I whisper to his ear, what wrong, I don't like the idea of you holding up all your burdens on yourself, open up to me and even though I probably don't have the answers to it all, but am right here baby as always, even though I don't want to reassure you how much I Love you, but if it what you need this moment, I want you to know that no man will never have my heart and eyes the way you do, I will fight for you till the day you said it enough, I will alway stay by your side, and stand behind you as always because that what family do, I don't want to challenge you roles, but I won't stay away from you even if you beg me to, because no matter where life take us, I will always stay, because you are my husband, and I make my vows to you and you only, so please don't ever think that I will go out my way to destroy or hurt you, his grey eyes stare at me with so much pain and tears that it hurt me to realize that something isn't right and somehow is holding on for our sake, please it not you he whimpered out to me, it just that sometime when I look at you it feel like your day I will loose you and I can't bear it and I won't Jaz, I love you so much that it fear me that someday I will end up pushing you to far away, that I won't be able to reach out fast enough to catch up to you, so I worry about that a lot, so when I saw James talking, laughing, and his hand touching make me see red out anger and jealousy, we haven't been doing any of that lately and I feel some type of way, and it push my button, and all I can see and heard is the voice in my head reach out to my deepest fear, and I feel like If somehow I can get James out of the picture it will make me feel so much better, and now I realize how stupid I have been looking lately, so am truly sorry, am thinking of going back to therapy, it not for you it for me, I don't want to ever see that look on your face again, that monster I was yesterday, only live on someone and that garbage is way to deep in hell to bring back to life, I laughed at that statement because somehow is right, my father is a Demon and that where he alway belong and forever will, but him picturing himself as my pop really doesn't sit right with me no matter what.
Michael might not be perfect but he will never sit on the same place as my father not even in a million years, that creep only deserves to be by himself and that why he seven feet deep where no sun will never shine, because hell is home that why he couldn't wait to walk in there. I agree with it but Mike I held and kiss his lip, you nothing like him and I will appreciate that you wouldn't compare yourself with him ever again, you hear me, yes he answer and I take his hand and lead him to our bedroom I want to make love to my man and yes I will because those grey sweatpants not helping me out either, we have a long day ahead and am planning on spending every second of it with my man, right after i speak with my children, got to check up on them sometimes and knowing my parents they probably doing things, they know they shouldn't be doing, those children of my I love them but sometimes it a struggle to get them to behave.