CHAPTER 53: Birds In A Gilded Cage
BLAIR WADSON
"Blair, come here!" narinig ko ang boses ni Jem na nanggaling sa loob ng kuweba.
I started making my way towards the entrance of the cave. Malubak ang daan. Nagkalat ang iba't ibang laki ng bato sa lupa. Nang makapasok ako, nag-adjust nang ilang segundo ang paningin ko at bahagyang luminaw ang kalooban ng kweba.
"Blair, pumasok ka rito. It's just a short distance," muli kong narinig ang boses ni Jem na nanggaling sa butas na nasa ilalim ng dalawang magkadikit na malalaking bato. Sa palagay ko, kasya naman ang isang tao roon.
Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang kabuuan. From my spot, I could see stalagmites and stalactites. Kahit na may kadiliman, nakikita ko iyon nang malinaw. I was in awe. It was a beautiful sight. I had never seen a cave before in my life.
Bahagya akong yumukod at dumapa. Sinimulan kong isiksik ang sarili ko papasok sab utas. Madali naman akong nakagapang sa kabilang bahagi ng bato. Nadatnan ko sila na pinapasadahan din ng tingin ang kuweba. The other side of the cave was almost the same.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang biglang may umilaw sa isang banda. It was a small ball of light but when I came near it, I could see its long, delicate tentacles hanging from above. And then in a matter of minutes, the ceiling of the cave started lighting up. Naging kulay asul ang paligid.
"What the—" I heard Ryan say.
Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti. "Wow," I whispered.
"Glow worms," ani Jem na nasa tabi ko na pala. When I turned to look at him, his eyes were glued to the ceiling. Tila ba umiilaw ang kulay asul na mga mata niya. "I learned about it from my dad. He used to travel and go to caves and such."
Nakita kong tumango-tango si Evangelyn.
Glow worms. I hadn't heard of it until now. I said to myself.
"They only light up in complete darkness," dagdag pa ni Jem.
Sunod na nagsalita si Maru. "I think safe naman siguro na gumawa tayo ng apoy dito," suhestiyon niya. "We should go and get some woods."
Evangelyn quickly chirped in. "Sama ako," nakangiting sabi niya.
Both of them crawled their way out of the cave. Kaming tatlo lang ang natira. May kumpol ng malalaking bato sa bandang kanan kaya doon ako dumeretso at umupo. Muli kong pinagmasdan ang mga glow worms sa itaas.
They're strange creatures, I told myself. I wish Noah and Mama were here to see this. I could only image the expression on their faces. I smiled at the thought of them. Ano na kaya ang ginagawa nila ngayon sa bahay? Ano kaya ang sinabi sa kanila ng unibersidad? Na patay na kami?
Bahagya kong nailing ang ulo ko. I quietly wished to see them again. I wish I could see how Noah's dimples shows every time he smiles, again. And my mother, I wish I could taste her dishes for one last time. I missed them both.
Nagbaba ako ng tingin nang maramdaman ko ang pagpatak ng luha sa pisngi ko. Mabilis ko iyong pinunasan. Not now, I told myself.
Naramdaman ko ang pag-upo ni Jem sa tabi ko. "Hey, 'you okay?" aniya sa malambing na boses. Even though his voice was deep, I still find it comforting.
Tumango lang ako sa kanya. "Yeah, I'm good. Na-miss ko lang sila mama," I told him.
Malungkot siyang ngumiti. "I'm sure they're okay," sabi niya na nakatingin sa mga mata ko.
Napabuntong hininga ako. "I hope so," sagot ko. "I really hope so."
"You know, I haven't told anyone about this," pahayag niya. I waited for him to continue. "I saw how my grandfather was killed. He was right in front of me."
Natutop ko ang bibig ko. "I'm sorry to hear that."
Bahagya siyang umiling. "It happened 7 years ago. But I'm okay now, though I missed him at times."
I placed my hand on top of his hand and gently squeezed it. Muli lang siyang ngumiti sa akin. "Thanks," he mumbled.
Lumipas ang ilang minuto nang dumating na sila Maru at Evangelyn, may hawak na mga kahoy. They placed the wood in the middle and lit a match to start the fire. Napatitig ako sa pamumuo ng apoy. It started as small fire and slowly, it turned into a fire that was enough to lighten up the entirety of the cave.
Unti-unti nang umiinit ang paligid, na naghatid naman ng ginhawa sa amin. For a while, we all just sat around the fire and stared at it.
Everything happens for a reason, Anak, I remembered my father used to say to me. I wanted to ask him now, This hell we are in, 'Pa, did this also happen for a reason?
Malungkot akong napangiti. I had lost a lot of my loved ones, my family—Papa, Celaena, my classmates and Sir Denver. We all had lost a lot. But we fought through it. Kaya sigurado akong malalagpasan din namin itong impyernong kinaroroonan namin ngayon. I found myself believing to what my father used to say, this hell also happened for a reason. That's why we were out here—we're looking for that reason. We wanted answers. And I knew that we would get it in no time.
Maru was the one to break the silence. "Remember that time when Sir Denver slipped right in front of us, and the whole stack of exams he was holding flew out the open window? And dahil doon, na-postpone ang examination?" natatawang saad niya.
I heard Jem and Ryan laughed. Hindi ko rin napigilang matawa. I remembered that time. It was our final examination for the second quarter. Pumasok si Sir Denver sa room namin at nadulas. Malinaw ko pang naaalala iyong pinipilit naming pigilan ang pagtawa. But when Sir Denver laughed at himself, tuluyan na rin kami humagalpak ng tawa. And because of that, he had to postpone our examination.
"I clearly remember that. Nabuga ko 'yong siopao na kinakain ko that time," natatawang sabi ni Jem.
"Ew," komento ni Evangelyn.
"Don't worry, I picked it up and ate it again," muli siyang tumawa.
Malakas ding tumawa si Ryan at Maru. Pilosopo rin pala 'tong si Jem. Natawa rin ako sa sinabi niya.
We all shared stories of the people we missed a lot. Hanggang sa hindi namin namalayang madaling araw na pala. Sinubukan kong matulog kahit saglit dahil sabi naman ni Maru, umaga pa kami magsisimulang maglakad ulit. We all tried to sleep. Si Ryan ang pumatay sa bonfire.
I placed my head on the left wall of the cave. I was already drifting off to sleep when I felt someone gently removed my head from the hard, rough surface of the wall and placed it on something soft and warm. Naramdaman ko ang banayad na paghaplos niya sa pisngi ko.
"You look like an angel when you're asleep," he whispered. I recognized his voice—it was Jem.
And slowly, it was like my mind went into free fall. It kept on swirling within a beautiful chaos of a new but familiar dream…
I found myself at our living room. Mula sa mga picture frame na nakapatong sa lamesita na nasa tabi ng TV hanggang sa mga bulaklak ng Camellia na paborito ni Mama, na-realize ko na, I was at home. The familiar scent of our home lingering in the atmosphere.
Gusto kong umiyak pero hindi ko magawang lumuha. I had never felt so safe like this. Nang lumingon ako sa kaliwa ko, there she was. Nakapatong ang ulo ni Mama sa balikat ni Papa. Pareho silang nakangiti. Magkasalikop ang kanilang kamay. Hindi ko napigilang ngumiti. They loved each other deeply. I wanted that kind of love.
Inilipat ko ang tingin ko sa kanan. He was the most handsome baby I had ever seen—it was the baby Noah, my little brother. I placed my hand on top of his head and gently brushed his soft hair. He looked up at me and giggled.
I turned to look at the screen in front of us. We were watching a movie that time. Hindi ko matandaan ang title pero pamilyar ang scene na kasalukuyang nagpe-play sa screen ng TV.
I missed this moment. This was normal. Ito iyong normal na raw pagkauwi ko galing sa school. This was our kind of bonding. I missed my family.
***
Napapitlag ako ng bangon nang may marinig akong kaluskos sa kung saan. I quickly opened my eyes and scanned my surrounding. I was still in the cave. Lumingon ako sa kanan ko at nakitang nakatulog pala ako sa balikat ni Jem. Sa harap namin, Evangelyn was asleep on Maru's lap. Tulog din si Maru.
Nakita kong nakatayo si Ryan. Mukhang galing siya sa labas.
Mukhang nagulat siya nang makita akong gising. "N-nagpahangin lang ako s-sa labas," he awkwardly gave me a smile and returned to his spot, beside Maru.
Napakunot ang noo ko sa reaksyon niya. Don't think too much, I told myself.
Umaga na pala, I realized. Mula sa butas na nilikha ng dalawang malaking bato, nakikini-kinita ko na ang araw sa labas ng kweba. Wala na rin ang ilaw ng mga glow worms. Jem was right, maybe they only glow in complete darkness.
I returned my gaze at Jem. Bago ako matulog, I remembered leaning my head on the rough wall of the cave but I woke up on his shoulders. Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti. His hair was now unkempt, his white shirt smeared with dirt.
Hindi ko namalayang gising na pala siya. His eyes were staring back at me. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at nahampas siya sa braso. "Gising ka na pala!" bulalas ko sa kanya.
His lips slowly formed a smile. "Why? Naputol ko ba 'yong pagtitig mo sa 'kin?"
"Asa ka naman," I mumbled, rolling my eyes at him.
Lumipas ang ilang minuto at nagising na rin sila Maru. I couldn't help but notice Ryan giving me nervous glances. Iniwas ko na lang ang tingin ko sa kanya.
Nagpasya kami na simulan na ulit na maglakad habang tirik pa ang araw. On our way, we found a small river. Naghilamos ako roon at sinalukan ng tubig ang empty water bottle sa bag ko.
We stayed there for a couple of minutes and continued walking. Napansin ko na bahagya nang numinipis ang mga puno sa daang tinatahak namin. May nakikita na rin akong ilang mga makukulay na bulaklak sa bungkos ng mga damo. I wasn't familiar with the flowers I'd seen on the way, but they were all beautiful. Banda rito, may mga naririnig na rin kaming mga huni ng ibon.
And then out of nowhere, we heard a strange noise—something growled nearby. We all stopped dead in our tracks when we heard it.
"Hindi lang ako ang nakarinig niyon, 'di ba?" ani Maru.