Dear ongoing conversation with my conscience,
I wanted to have a normal life that included my family, a couple of friends, and hopefully, one day find my calling. I couldn't even afford an education. I wanted to frolic around like a complete idiot and spend all my time coloring or playing house on the playground, but that was never an option. I never got to go outside much and my family and I constantly moved around because…. they…. would come for us whenever they heard of our existence.
For as long as I can remember humans have lived in fear. This fear is because the demonic race that runs Brooklyn eventually came out of hiding, rampaging across the state. The demons forced humans into submission and we haven't heard anything from the angels. Every news station is full of Demons either killing off humans, taking possession. You know those "crazy" people you see on TV high on bath salts or just talking out of their ass? This is the real Brooklyn now. You might think this would leave a bad taste in my mouth for them, but blood runs thicker than water. My mom was human and my father was a demon and I didn't get to know them long before they died.
I don't have a name...or at least if I did I don't remember it. And I haven't devoted much time to trying to figure one out. I live in Brooklyn, New York, in a neighborhood called Brooklyn Heights. Nobody cares about what your name is. Just try not to get shot. Make sure you have running water, heat, gas, electricity. Make sure you stay out of the way of those whose names mean something here. Try not to get attacked by the rats on the subway or the hunters in military gear. Otherwise, it's beautiful.
As for me? You're probably wondering by now. I'm almost on the same level as the rats, towering at a beautiful five foot five with orange hair and heterochromia I might not have a name but the people that know me, know me for being a coward. It's not like I can't take care of myself, just while I am, I don't know who else I might destroy. If I ever lost control, I could end up becoming a danger to everything around me. To put it lightly, I'm haunted and going insane because of the demons around who constantly get in my head.
I've tried to drown them but it looks like they can swim. Most of their monologue is just about how I should kill myself because they know that if I do, they'd devour me and take my power. I can do what they can't, and I can accomplish what they can only dream of. I can't lie though, I've almost given in a couple of times since it started. Can I tell you something though? I've tried so hard to fight them off without losing control, but I didn't think I'd get to the point where I'd wake up possessed.
This morning I had so little to do, yet when I wake up I always feel like I have to get up and eat a horse. The reason for this? I didn't have control over my own body. One of the power hungry demons managed to catch me slipping while I was asleep and take control. It sent a horrible screech, that I'm guessing was supposed to be a laugh through my head. Her laugh sounded familiar and feminine, so I'm thinking that this time it's Nova.
"Nova! Stop this bullshit. You can't take my power anyways. I'm deadass, if I get out of here I'm gonna find a way to purify your aggravating ass!"
Although I couldn't yell it out, I screamed it in my head because she's attached to everything, it runs as deep as my conscience. Even though it's "my" body, that's only to an extent. She gave me a sinister laugh with her reply.
"You say that, but who's in control of you right now? You might as well ready yourself to die, because I'm about to complete the task you've been too scared to do for years, little girl!"
The last sentence made my heart drop and my mind went blank. Was this really going to be the day that I die? I'm only twenty and there is still so much that I need to do.
My first instinct was to scream and try to take control back. I tried to overpower Nova but she'd been in my body too long. Before I knew it, I was out of bed and walking out of the door. How could I miss that?!
How was she planning to take me out though? If she were going to hang me, she'd have done it back at my house. I was starting to feel uneasy when I sensed more demons than just Nova starting to come out of hiding. Everyone that I passed was frightened to see me. The only times I was ever out of the house was when I needed food or late at night to avoid the stares and gossip. This was nerve wracking. Even though no one wanted to deal with me, I tried to turn my head and call for help. The human, moral side of me hoped that someone would help regardless of who they knew me as, but my lips just wouldn't move. It was as if Nova had gorilla glued my lips shut, I could only hear my voice echo in my head.
"Someone! Anyone! Help me! I'm going to die. I don't have control over myself and this is not the way that I want to go out. Can anybody hear me?!"
Nova just kept laughing as if my reactions and calls for help were just the most hilarious things in the world. They probably were, realistically. We both knew that there were only two solutions to this problem: die or Nova just suddenly changing her mind. Eventually everyone just went back to what they were doing and ignored me as Nova took me to who knows where. Tears were forming in my eyes as Nova began to speak up again with a vile tone in her voice.
"Aww it's okay don't cry it'll be over soon.... as long as you aren't afraid of heights! Ha ha!"
Nova broke out into another one of her opera house fit of screeching laughs and I remained speechless. What did she mean by as long as I'm not afraid of heights..? I made myself vulnerable by speaking out loud, even though it was in my head. It was as if she heard me when she spoke up again soon after.
"Keep your eyes looking straight. We're almost on your deathbed."
When I stopped panicking and looked to see what Nova was talking about, my eyes widened with horror. This isn't the way I wanted to go out. I began to regret most of the past decisions I made.. I didn't mean to get my parents killed.. and I didn't want to watch all those families die by my hands.. I began to plead with God.. I'm sorry for it all..
Before me, is a body of water that I'll fall into when Nova sees it fit for me to. She knows I can't swim.. so this is the perfect time for her to see me off.. right off the edge of the Brooklyn Bridge.