He once belonged to her, even if it wasn't completely. One day on a fine afternoon back in 2018 Kashmira had texted me saying one of his friends had a crush on me. She said that I should accept his follow request and talk to him. I was skeptical of accepting follow requests of people I didn't know back then. I was the first from our lineage to have access to all social media apps at the age of twelve. Even then I had been pretty head-strong about the morals my parents had taught me so I would follow all the rules my parents assigned me to. But I broke a rule that day. I accepted his follow request. The thought of someone having a crush on me had a reverse psychological effect on me. His profile picture was of a boy standing far away looking in the sky wearing a blue Panjabi. Even then I couldn't get a clear view of his face. I did not follow him back so I did not have access to see his photos.
Then he texted me with a "Hi" and for some reason, I texted him back. Soon our conversation blew up. We chatted for half an hour and even though it might not make much sense or even difference to anyone, it did to me. I had never chatted with someone for that long. Even though I was the first to start using social media apps I was never a social media person. I would scroll down my feed for five minutes, look at celebrities' posts, look through my friend's stories and that's it.
He was so new to me. I never met a person like him till then. He was something new and different to me, someone, I've never seen anyone else like. So different. I was attracted to him as if I were a bee and he was the unique flower whose nectar attracted me, I wanted to get a taste of it even if it was forbidden.
We hit it off beginning talking about our schools, age, and mostly about Kashmira in the beginning. I told him about how jealous I was of Kashmira's silhouette, that I would exercise every day, that I went dancing classes and jump and do all sorts of things to grow a few inches but it never worked. I told him about my passion for music about my music classes. He used to flirt with me saying he liked girls who jumped a lot. Once he called me baby and I blushed like crazy, and the next moment my morals hit me and I was so infuriated. Why would he call me baby? That was so inappropriate. Only my parents could call me that and my future boyfriend maybe when I would start dating. I told him that he wasn't my dad so he should not call me that and he joked that he could be my sugar daddy! And NO and NO! I had no idea what it meant. Gosh, that was so embarrassing! Why was I like that? He once commented that I looked hot and sexy, I blushed furiously and was very quick to type that he should not use such words towards me and should instead say I was cute. He found it so funny and childish that I was so naïve and Mommy Daddy girl!
Why do all the random thoughts haunt me in the night? Why was I so embarrassing and childish and that too just two years ago?