Precious Day
Loved every moment
"I love every second I spend with you, my Nana",
Saturday: 12 December
Saturdays are our day out. We spend Saturdays over movies, we eat out and its sleep over day.
Just as I walk in my house I undress quickly, taking off my work tshirt and putting on a white tshirt. Today I knocked out around 1 PM and placed by Travis's workplace since he knocks out at 4PM, I don't know why. I couldn't go home without seeing him though, so passing by made me super duper happy.
So now I'm in a taxi headed to the Mall. Travis and I have a date, we planned on watching a movie at the Cenema so he'll find me there since he knocks out late. When I get to the Mall I start browsing around, going through my favorite stores for my favorite clothes. I'm not planning on buying anything but that doesn't stop me from looking. I check out some cool sneakers, then handbags, ohhh, jewellery. It's not fun doing all alone though but it's something I've gotten used to.
Flashback to when I was with Duncan.
I remember I used to go to the Mall alone. Before that Duncan would go to the Mall with me everytime I wanted to. Then he got busy with work when he moved from retail to transportation, he got so busy he hardly had time for me. I'd see him anytime I wanted to but it'd have to be will he's on duty. So whenever I wanted to go to the Mall he'd pick me up and drive me there, give me money, sometimes walk me in for a few minutes then head back to work. At first I didn't see anything wrong with that, then I got used to it. Some days I'd just call to let him know I'm going for a movie and he'd just send me money and I'd go by myself. So being alone at the Mall doesn't really scare me, I kinda fell in love with it and I quite certainly enjoy it.
Reality
At around 3:30 PM, I book us some tickets for the movie Croods online, I could have just went and queue since the cenema is right over there, a few feet away from where I'm sitting, but I figured doing it online saves all my energy and time. Plus with the Covid thing around people are limited inside the cenema rooms.
The movie starts at 4:45 PM so he'll find me inside the cenema if he takes too long.
At 4:30 I walk to the cenema paying point, I do all my covid screening at the entrance and as I'm about to finish Travis comes rushing towards me.
"Hey", he kisses my check then smiles.
"Good thing you made it in time", I say and he rub his hands together like the lucky guy he is.
"Please do your covid screening before you walk in", the guy at the entrance says to Travis while pointing at the covid screening machine.
"Oh, sorry", Travis starts his screening. "Did you do yours?", he asks facing me.
"Oh yeah I did", I reply. "I just have to pay our tickets and buy some popcorns",
"Go right ahead I'm right behind you", he says as he hands me his bankcard and I walk in heading to the paying point. When I get there I pay our tickets and buy the epic popcorn combo. It's my favorite.
...
After the movie I'm tired and hangry. But his car is acting up so we decide to head home. He promises to buy some food when we get to our hood and I don't mind, anything will do at this moment. The movie was super nice, I laughed so bad and he kept watching me laugh, which was cute, and romantic.
When we get to our home town we find that the food complex is still opened.
"You wanna eat pizza or chicken meal?", he asks as he parks his car on the side of the street. He doesnt even drive in the complex parking since he doesn't trust that his car will restart once we ready to go.
"I'd like to eat pizza please", I shake my legs in excitement. I love pizza.
"Let's go get pizza then", he says as he gets out of the car.
"You leaving your car here?", I ask.
"Yeah. I'm the only one who knows how to start the damn thing", he shrugs his shoulders.
"Oh well", I shrug my shoulders in return. He grabs my hand and we walk inside. We head to the pizza store and order.
After our pizza is ready, he pays it and we head out.
I've already called my parents to let them know that I'm spending the night with Travis so things are right in order. Instead of heading to his grans though, he drives to his mum's house. He parks the car a house away, at a friend's premises then leaves me there to get some few stuff that he'll need for tomorrow. He takes longer than he said he will but I've told myself I don't wanna be mad. I'm not gonna be mad.
The next morning it's hard to get up when the alarm screams. All I wanna do is sleep. We both working so he gets up and prepares a bath for us.
"Babe", he shakes me lightly to wake up. "Its morning, get up",
"No", I reply in my sleep.
"You need to wake up", he says, shaking me once more.
"Later, let me sleep a little longer", I beg, still in my sleep.
"No", he removes the cover and pulls me by my leg. "We gonna be late",
I'm fully awake by now so I roll my eyes and crawl off bed heading for a bath.
After our morning routine of getting ready for work, we head out and catch a taxi instead of a bus. We late, a few minutes late but I don't care. Working Sundays sucks, I hate it.
Luckily the day isn't that bad, though I knock off around 2 PM. I'm tired as fuck, not because I've been working hard but because it's Sunday. I head straight to Travis's workplace since I feel I should head home with him. He knocks out at 3 PM and I still don't get why he has to knock out later than I do.
After work we take a taxi home. We drop off at his Gran's. As we walk to the house, he chat nicely, super duper nicely. That's when I realise how crazy this guy is. He's actually the male version of me. He's the type of crazy that I need in my life.
Which kinda takes me back to the time Duncan once told me that I'm his crazy girlfriend. He liked that side of me. He wasn't the opposite of me but hardly got crazy than I did. I still feel like he got tired of that.
Anyway, with Travis, do you think he'll get tired of being crazy with me? It's not an everyday thing, I get serious sometimes and so does he. But I mean, will he one day think I'm being childish and feel like I'd never change? Should I be even be thinking all this? Gosh.
...
Tuesdays: 15 December
"What a fucken day", I sigh. I'm out of work, I'm flippen tired, not from all the work but exhausted from the fact that I was at work.
As I'm walking to the bus terminals with Wendy, my phone rings. I pull it out then suddenly my heart stops for a second. Its him. The him I'm trying to forget.
"Hello", I answer. I try to calm my shaking voice cause I don't want him to hear how nervous I am.
"Hey, why aren't you picking up your phone?", he asks.
"Well, I wasn't in a good spot buddy", I reply. What the hell do you want, is actually what I should ask.
"Where you at?", he asks sounding a bit jumpy, like he's excited or nervous.
"Terminals. Why? What's happening?", I ask.
"Well, don't go any further. Come meet me here at Caltex Garage please",
I should say no and head home, but a part of me what's to find out what he wants. Could be he wants to apologize and we'd get our relationship back in action. I really have to find out.
"Alright, I'm on my way", I reply then turn heading to Caltex. It's been a while since I've seen Duncan and that actually gets me excited. I'm not sure what we'll talk and maybe I'll get the closure I'm missing. He really needs to explain why he dumped me and make me understand this time.
I get to Caltex Garage and he's not there. I pull out my phone and call him. "Where the heck are you? I'm here already", I say right after he picks up.
"I'm getting close, just wait for me", he says.
Well, he's kept me waiting before so this shouldn't hurt. So I wait.
In about 15 minutes or so I see his car headed my way. After he stops I walk to his car and open the passenger seat. He's dressed in a grey collar tshirt that I'm used to and shorts. Shorts are his favorites since December tends to be very hot.
"Hello", I mumble as I settle in the passenger seat.
He smiles and drives off right after. "I haven't seen you in a while", he says starting a conversation. Man, it feels so weird. "How have you been?",
"Been alright", I giggle, I don't know what for. I'd slap myself if he wasn't watching. "I'm sure you can see that", I add, clearly turning myself into an idiot.
My smile actually grows bigger as i watch him drive. He looks good.
"I can see", he replies. "Who's treating you so well?",
"Some guy", I look away.
"Who?", he asks. Oh boy, I know this side of him. He likes interrogating me whenever he wants information which he thinks is valuable. Why the hell does it matter to him who I'm with? Isn't he suppose to apologize?
"Why do you wanna know?", I roll my eyes. "Its just some guy", I refuse to tell him.
"Come on Nina", he pushes. "Who's the guy? Are you ashamed of him?",
"No I'm not", he's getting under my skin now.
"The who is he?", he asks. He's never gonna stop tell I tell him and that's driving me nuts.
"You know the guy, the light complexion one that used to be my friend", I say quickly. Fuck! He still gets to me. How the hell does he still gets me to do what he wants?
"Oh wow", he chuckles but it's too fake. "I knew that guy was after you. He chased you till he got you huh?",
Fuck this guy. Why do I even bother with him. "Its not like that",
"Its like what?", he snaps. Hes not taking it nicely. "I hated hohe looked at you, I knew he wanted to screw me over. Nina what the hell are you doing with that kid? He's a kid. He's got a child? You wanna be a step mum now? Seriously you're better than this", he shakes his head like he's my father or something.
"He's actually a good guy", I explain. I don't have to but I find myself explaining. "He loves me and that's all I need",
"You love him?", he asks.
"I don't have to. With all that love has done to me", I roll my eyes.
"That's a bad move", he says.
"I don't fucken care", I snap. "You used me, you played house with me for 4 years then dumped me like I'm nothing",
"You're still upset",
"Fuck yeah", I whisper yell. Why the hell wouldn't I be when hes provoking the shit out of me.
"I didnt use you and you know it. I've loved you more than I've never loved anybody before", he says.
"Then why the hell did you dump me?",
"You need to calm down", he says calmly and it instantly irritates the shit out of me. We're now parked at a Park and Ride area and he's now sitting with his body facing me.
"I am calm", I chuckle.
"Have you introduced the guy to your parents?", he asks.
"Why?",
"You have, haven't you?", he turns facing down slowly.
"Yes",
"Wow Nina, why do you have to always include your parents in your business?", he snaps.
"I had no option",
"That's bullshit and you know it. You didn't have introduce him, it's too soon",
"I wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for you", I frown looking him straight in his eyes. I'm mad, but I also want this whole situation to change.
"I'm sorry okay?", he yells. "I didn't mean for it to hurt you this bad",
Great. He's only apologising for how it made me feel. Perfect. I roll my eyes at the thought of it.
"Enough about me", I give him a sad smile. "How about you?",
"I good, I'm copying", he starts telling me that he's finally moved out of his parents house, which actually hurts cause he was supposed to be living with me. Good thing he lives by himself, he's got someone though and building something with her, and that's actually a sharp knife through my heart. He finally tells me that he actually wanted to see me cause he wants me back, and that makes me happy but the Travis occupies my head and I'm not so sure. He tells me he can't stop thinking about me, something I wanted to hear. He wanted to get back with me only if I wasn't seeing anyone, cause he's not willing to fight with another guy for me, which is pretty understandable due to how he had to fight for me when I cheated, which is why we broken up after all. He said he still loves me, that he's never stopped, and that he'll never stop cause the love we share is different than any kind of love. He said he regrets dumping me, and that if he could reverse time he would. That's what I wish for to. I wish I didn't move on too quickly. I should have gave him time. I should have waited. But, it's too late now.
The day he left me, I cried so badly, he broke my heart pretty bad. I still love him, I've never stopped too. But getting back with him isn't the answer, I don't think it'll be a wise choice. Yes we love one another, yes we still do, but we had a toxic relationship that broke up badly as individuals and our broke hearts would never be mended. Love isn't the answer to everything.
As for Duncan, I'm glad he realised how fucked up he's made us and that he took the wrong move thinking its what's best for us. No one will replace him in my heart and I'm sure from what he's said I'll never be replaced in his.
If reincarnation really exists, I hope one day our souls meet again and fall in love, cause loving him is the best thing that's ever happened in my life.