Saturday: 5 December
I hate this.
I hate this so much.
I hate it when the guy I'm dating doesn't meet up his promises. More reason it all feels like history is repeating itself.
Travis promised he'll pick me up earlier today just so we won't have to argue over time. I even trusted him enough to plan a mini picnic and now everything is ruined.
6:30 PM I call, all I want is to find out what time he'll be here since it's already getting dark but unsurprisingly he doesn't pick up. I then tell myself, "you know what, he'll get to see the missed call so he'll call back", rather than to keep bothering him.
8:30 PM, my phone rings. "Hello?",
"Hey, I'm on my way babe and I'll get there now. I'm literally getting in my car right now", he says. I don't wanna argue with him even though my mini picnic is already ruined.
"Okay", I reply then hang up the call. By 8:45 PM I'm still on the couch infront of the TV, still waiting. I then decide to close my eyes and tell myself that I'll be woken up by his call, cause really now I'm getting angry.
Around 9:30 PM I wake up and check my phone, still, no missed calls. Without warning my blood suddenly boils. I'm pissed. This guy thinks I'm some stupid little girl I see. He thinks he can make me wait this long just for his stupid ass and everything should be fine. He's a super idiot if he's thinking that way.
By 10PM, I'm fed up. I'm finally upset. I feel like I've been stood up, like I'm a fool to think Travis will put me first for once. I'm an idiot.
I get up from the couch and head to my room. I'm so pissed when I get there so I get on bed and call him, again. Well, he's not picking up. I wanna scream, shout, cry, but all that doesn't happen. Before I can break down, I call Sarki. They're always together. He should know where he is or what's happening to him.
"Hello", he actually picks up in a few rings.
I take a deep breath in then say, "hey, em, how are you?",
"I'm good hey, how are you?", he replies.
"Good", I take another deep breath, I'm trying so hard to hold myself from flipping out. "Do you perhaps know where Travis is?",
"Oh yeah. He's here with me", just as he says that my heart pumps a bit faster. "Its all my fault. Travis is here having a talk with my mum. She always does this whenever I'm being a problem",
Should I flip out? I'm pissed. No, I'm angry, mad. Why the fuck should I be hearing all this from his friend? Why didn't he call to let me know something came up? What's so hard in actually doing that? Gosh.
"Oh I see", I'm red. I'm fuming. I'm acting all cool for his friend not to call me dramatic, cause really this is being dramatic on other people's view. "Thanks for letting me know", I nod. It's part of trying to calm myself down.
"I'll tell him to call you once they're done", he says. He's voice actually sounds far, you'd swear I have my phone inches away from my ear but I'm only distracted by my anger.
"Okay, thanks. Bye", I hang up. Suddenly tears burn my eyes but I say no to crying. No more crying. I don't wanna drop even a single tear. Not for any guy. Not for a guy at all.
I get up from bed and pace up and down in my dark room. I'm suppose to be in my covers and trying to sleep but no, I'm too pissed for that. Finally calming myself down, I get on my knees before my bed and pray.
"Dear heavenly Father...", I start my prayers. I figured praying would help with my pissed mood, like seriously, how the hell would I be able to sleep in this state?
After praying, I crawl into my covers and close my eyes. I don't care anymore. I don't care if he calls or not, I don't wanna even worry about that. If he likes me or loves me he'd stop this nonsense of his and be a real boyfriend, not a child I need to run after all the time. I really don't need all this.
As I calm myself I slowly drift into sleep. I'm still mad but sleep takes over like nothing's wrong, maybe praying really helps.
Around 10:49 PM, I wake up to a loud sound coming from my phone. It actually frightens the shit out of me, I almost jumped off bed just from the sound of this thing. As it rings it finally registers that it's my phone and I need to answer it. I grab it and check the caller ID, "who else can it be except for Travis", I roll my eyes as the thought hits me. As I pick up, he hangs up. Oh well, I toss the phone on the side then fall back to my pillow with some force. Then it hits me. I can't just let him off the hook just like that, he needs to know how pissed I am. He caused all this so he damn well deserves a piece of my anger. I get up to a sitting position then grab my phone and call him. Within 2 rings he picks up, "Babe, I'm on my way to pick you up", he says.
"And take me where?", I snap. There must be something wrong with him. Not even a sorry babe? He thinks I'm stupid doesn't he?
"We planned on hanging out remember?", he says and I actually laugh, a real laugh which turns fake after a few seconds.
"Did you check the flippen time?", I whisper yell. I'm not in any mood for his bullshit.
"I can explain babe", oh so now he can explain.
In a soft voice and a fake smile I reply, "I don't need your explanation", I wanna hang up but I can't. Maybe I am an idiot. Why the hell can't I hang up and careless what he wants to say?
"Please", he begs. "Let me explain please",
"I really don't have time for this. I have to sleep", I say and quickly hang up. It's only to try and make myself feel better, not that I really wanna hang up on him.
As I try to sleep he calls back. "What?", I snap right after I pick up.
"I'm outside, may I please talk to you?", he sounds a bit upset than apologetic. "Please", he breaths. I sigh, I wanna stay mad but I really can't. I have a spot for romance and that's actually what would kill me.
"Fine. I'll be right out", I say getting up. I put on the clothes I had on earlier and walk out. It's late, like really late. It's almost midnight actually and here I am walking out. I walk to the gate and find his car parked in the middle of the street.
Instead of getting closer, I stand by the gate and fold my arms. If he's planning to take me to his Gran's, then he's got it all wrong. I ain't moving from here.
Noting my reaction, he gets out of the car and walks to me. He's friend is in the passenger seat, he came with him probably to show me that he really was with him all night.
"Hi", he rub together his hands as he gets closer.
"Hi", I reply dryly. Act cool, act cool, act cool, I remind myself.
"Em, I'm sorry. I got caught up, when I was leaving from home to you Sarki and his mum stopped me",
"Mmh", I nod.
"Seriously. They wanted to talk and I had no idea it was gonna take this long",
"It must be real important huh?", I look up at him. He's tall so I'm guessing it's easy for him to see how pissed I am. "So Sarki's mum only wanted to talk to you huh?",
"Its complicated. We sometimes have talks like this. My mum was part of it too", he says.
"Just not Sarki huh?",
He frowns looking all over except for my eyes. I'm guessing he won't say what the talk was about.
"I'm sorry it took so long",
"Oh really?", I straighten up. "You didn't even take a second to let me know what's going on. I had to call Sarki to find out. It's funny cause he can answer his calls and you can't",
"I didnt get a chance to call. And how would I have called while in the middle of the whole meeting?",
"Are you flippen serious? You kidding right?", I frown. Really he must be kidding. "So you couldn't even ask to be excused for a second? All I wanted was a 'sorry babe something came up, I'll call you when everything is sorted', simple. What's so hard on doing that?", he's pissing me all over again right now. Has he never dated before? Doesn't he know how this whole thing works?
"I should have called, you're right. 5 minutes wouldn't have been a problem",
"Good", I nod. "Now I'm going to bed, so Goodnight",
Sarki hasn't moved from where he's sitting. He surely knows I'm pissed and wouldn't dare try to interfere.
"Em, aren't we going to sleep-",
"Are you fucken' kidding me?", I roll my eyes as I cut his words short. "Don't", I shake my head as he tries to speak.
"I'm going to bed", I say as he nods then turn back heading towards my house's door. I dont even turn to see if he leaves or not. I don't wanna end up pitying him and feeling bad for not leaving with him. Man, it's not even about pity, I wanna spend all my nights with him so it'd be more like pitying myself.
After closing my bedroom door, I strip off my clothes and get back in my covers. I don't even wanna dwell much on the matter so I close my eyes and try to sleep. But I get feeling like I should call him. As I fight so hard on not calling him, my phone rings.
"Yeah?", I pick up.
"I'm home", he says. He actually took less time than I think he should. Taken he has to drop off Sarki.
"Oh cool", I reply. Why am I still mad?
"I'm really sorry. I don't want you being mad at me or us fighting like this", he says.
"Then stop pissing me off", I say. I could feel him nodding. Travis is actually a good guy, just his time management and all these parents meetings are out of place. He really needs to sort out his time.
"Yeah, got it. I'll stop. I'll sort things out and we'll be fine. I promise", he says.
"Don't you dare use that word", I hate it when guys use the word promise. It never ends well since most guys tend to not keep any promise.
"Okay, I get it", he's surely nodding I suppose. "We'll talk, goodnight",
"Goodnight",
"I love you", he says. I'm not gonna say it back. I don't want to.
"Sure feels like it", I reply rolling my eyes.
"I really do", he says then waits till I hang up. Since I'm not in any mood to reply, I hang up.
Now that I know he's not mad at me for being mad at him, it actually makes me feel better. I can sleep well knowing he still loves me more than what I expect of him. Atleast when it comes to situations like these, he's way more better than what Duncan was. Duncan would have called in the morning. He wouldn't have came to apologize or anything.