The cicadas sung at their highest pitch today again. Their usual pitch. It wasn't a song. It was just mere chatter spoke in a different language as to keep their secrets hidden. The cicada are a mysterious folk.
And in my lonely house, a lonely house with only an indifference in the space it took from the other neighboring buildings. Other than that, it was the largest and well designed house in the district. It was still a bit small, and the lamps at night, a bit dim. And was almost always vacant. But instead of waking up all alone as usual, I woke up with an arm against my chest. It wasn't heavy, but it seemed to crush my body with incredible weight. I slowly opened my eyes and nudged it off me. It's owner looked beautiful when she was sleeping, so I decided to leave her alone until she felt the need to wake.
Meirochi district, Japan
1994
Senaihikaichi building
It was that time of year. The scent and aura of the trees and flowers calmed my entire being. The trees that shed their pink flowers were for all to see, not for one to keep for themselves selfishly. This was my month, my time of year. It wasn't February, but it was my most romantic month. August, as it was autumn.
Because of that, the cherry tree leaves would scatter endlessly all over the streets and the schoolyard. I stared out my window, admiring the perfect view.
"So pretty!" I couldn't contain my excitement and had just blurted out the words.
"It's the same as last year." Someone said. She may not have meant to make me frustrated but she had. It was admirable, no matter how many times it portrayed itself.
"Yeah, Todoroki-chan, you should grow up." The second person also aggravated me. They were all acting mature, even though we were still in the elementary.
"Yaah! Grow up? I don't wanna grow up!" I complained. Before the first girl could scold me further, the door of the classroom opened. A small girl walked through alongside her mother. The first girl who had spoken to me, Korune Hanazo, stopped talking and focused her attention to the girl. So did everyone else.
The teacher and the parent exchanged words for a moment and then the parent left.
The little girl faced the class, the nervousness apparent on the stuttering in her voice.
"Hi, I. . .My name. . .Name is Otoibe, Yaissei. I'm a transfer student and I. . .I hope to. . .Get along with you all." She said timidly but that made her look cute. The teacher nodded and sent her to sit in the empty seat next to me. She walked slowly and sat next to me, the class's prying eyes trailed her.
VShe was a beautiful little girl, that's what I had thought. And instantly, I had wanted to hug her and keep her as a toy. Or a pet. It was an incurable insanity I had in things that had large eyes. She was indubitably cute. Something that could fit in a kawaii manga doll set.
She placed her fists onto her lap and stared nervously at the desk. She looked like she was about to burst.
"Are you okay?" I felt the need to ask. My tiny heart had been pounding in my tiny chest.
She didn't answer so I decided to fix her problem willingly. She was without a bag, or a book so I simply guessed.
"If you're lacking school materials, I'd be glad to lend you mine."
She crushed her skirt.
"I'm sorry!" She shouted and prostrated. Why was she sorry? I was getting confused.
"Nah, nah. It's okay." I said.
"Thank you!" She said. How could she forget her things on the first day? Wasn't she just with her mother?
"By the way, what's your name?" I asked even if I had just heard it. The teacher seemed to have acknowledged my speaking in class to the newcomer.
"I just. . .Otoibe, Yaissei." She had said. Otoibe Yaissei? She was someone that I had grown madly infatuated with over years to come. It was a mistake though.
It was a sin.
Kamukara street
2001
Meirochi district, Kamukara
The present
Unlike then, there were no cherry blossoms flowering the streets. Nor were there pretty flowers to calm your heart by. Only the sun, shining above, kept it's never-changing beauty. No matter the season, or time of year. Even though it was mostly obscured during spring, it had always come back. The same as before. I walked alongside a small girl towards school. I had washed and dried her uniform and had given her an oversized pajama to which she had accepted. She made me feel many different feelings.
Like a mother. Wanted. Cared for.
"So, we'll part at the Kamukara station huh, senpai?" She asked me. After that night, she had started to address me this way.
"I guess so. I'm going to see you again this afternoon?"
I felt a bit 'out of character' being someone's senpai and asking such questions. The responsibility.
"No, samurai are to come visit the Mirutsuhikaichi today and I hate them. I'll come to your school before lunch."
The samurai, who called themselves military these days, were to defend the whole district along with the police, district constables, against brigands. Still, they were very frightening, wielding their swords manically just for show. There was a war going on so I hadn't expected any of them to have free time. Still. . .
"Ehh, that won't be necessary. I heard they're coming to my campus today as well so it doesn't make any difference."
My presence had to be lessened today in the presence of the samurai. The district constables were subtle but the samurai were merciless.
"It will make a difference. They'll probably take me away because of the things I've done. At least I'll be a bit safer with you."
Am unsettling feeling crept over me so I just decided to speak my mind.
"You're afraid of the samurai." Instead of asking, I had stated it. "Is this why you chose to befriend me?" I asked in fear of her answer.
"I don't understand why you still mistrust me, senpai. I told you I needed you. Not your protection. Just your presence."
I sighed in relief. Then smiled and chuckled a bit. The Kamukara station was getting in view.
"That girl." She said and started to walk slowly to delay the conversation.
"Hm?"
"Back in that classroom."
The memory of the sick girl and the petrified face of her friend haunted me again. I felt guilty, but, I couldn't have helped with the situation. The way she had looked at me with fear. . .
"Aota-sama?"
Authority over her very soul.
"Do you think they're already, you know. . ."
"Dead? No, I don't think that they're both dead but. . ." The little girl looked away. Even though she was a murderer, she still felt nervousness. It hurt me now that I had thought that she was just a heartless murderer when we first met. "Promise me you'll avoid everyone because you never know who's infected! Because, if you die then. . .I'll be all alone all over again. And it hurts. To be alone."
It did hurt to be alone but it was also possible to grow accustomed to pain. No matter how severe.
"I, ok. You have to stay away from people as well ya know." I said, feeling the need to show my care as well.
"Thanks. I will! Besides, that won't be a problem." She said and dashed to the right of the Kamukara station. 'That won't be a problem'. Was she that shunned? I felt more hurt for her than myself. She really does need my presence.
I walked off to school alongside the other high schoolers.
Wherever I walked, the streets were empty. Every one stood at the opposite side of the dirt street, with their friends. Their lovers. I was alone. As usual. But I felt a feeling of change since yesterday.
A fortunate change. Not something that has ever happened to me in my life.
Meirochi district
2001
Torihikaichi building, Todoroki's class
"Will no one lament for me? Am I doomed to forever abide by this world's unfair rules in this dark abyss?" The literature teacher, Serena Hiragi had asked the students to present their poems in front of the class. She had smiled upon seeing that I had decided to attend her class. Something I can't remember doing. ". . .And instead of darkness, fill this dark abyss with light."
The class applauded the speaker as she finished her poem. She blushed from nervousness and sat down. It was my turn now but I hadn't done a poem nor have I heard of it since I never attended classes.
"You don't have to participate if you don't want to." The teacher said, determined to keep me from leaving the class.
"It's a class isn't it?" I asked. "So then I have no choice but to participate."
There were a few gasps and low talking from the other students but I didn't listen to them. The teacher smiled. Relieved? Content? Happy.
"Go ahead then." She said.
At one point in my life, I had given up on my dark reputation. I had just desired friends, desired someone to talk to. But no one had cared to listen to my pleas. So I sunk further into the hollow darkness. But someone had come talk to me willingly. She said her name was Okonoyami and that she needed me.
"I. . .I." I hadn't prepared for this but I'm sure I could pull something from thin air. Just as I was about to speak, two threatening figures slid open the doors of the classroom. They were clad in red and black armor -the color of the military's flag -and spoke in a condescending tone. My tone.
"Excuse the intrusion. Here on account of the delinquent Aota Todoroki. Is she present?"
The teacher and students instantly got up and prostrated as they were trained to.
"Truly sorry dear sirs. . ." The teacher said. "But Todoroki-san is currently in class and cannot tend to any matters outside of this current topic. So could you please. . ."
"Ah, there she is!" One of the men said and pointed towards me. His accomplice turned to me as well. He had a cold look on his face that told me I wasn't being recruited. Not that women ever did.
"Aota!" He shouted. "District general Seikon requests your immediate presence." He managed to retain whatever anger he had within him and kept his professional tone. Unlike the other.
I sat up slowly and sighed. I couldn't show fear or weakness before even the samurai. My reputation, it was a burden.
"What do you want from me?" I asked sternly.
"You can ask general Seikon when you meet him. That is, after you beg for his forgiveness and lick his feet."
The man laughed. I clenched my teeth. There was no way I could hold my own against a samurai. Even father feared them. Still. . .
"To hell with. . ."
"Todoroki-san. Just, please." The teacher pleaded with her voice and eyes. She seemed to plead with her heart as well. I sighed and obeyed. I followed them out the classroom, through the corridor and into the council's office.
"General Seikon will be here in a couple hours. He doesn't like to deal with trash like you so be a good little bitch and wait awhile ok?"
I clenched my fist. If they hadn't such unquestioned authority, wielded such sadistic weapons, I'd have messed them up real bad. But to them, I was exactly what they described me as. They left and a few hours after, they returned and dragged me to the roof.
A tall man was standing there. His broad shoulders, bulging muscles and giant size was inhumane. He was like some human monster. He was the general of the entire samurai of Meirochi district so why was he here? To deal with trash like me?
"Haha, Aota you have quite a reputation do you not?" He asked without turning around. He placed his hands into the guardrail and leaned forward. "Unfortunately that kind of thing messes with my reputation as caretaker of this town. So I'll have to cut you and your father down. I'm sure you understand."
His words were frightening. What did he mean by cut down? Would he kill me or send me and my father away from the town? My reputation. . .
"What the hell are you talking about?! Cut down. . .!" I felt a hand nudge harshly against my head. I swiftly turned around. The samurai who had done it stared smiling at me as if to say 'do something if you can'.
"Tch!" I was angry at his misuse of authority. But was I one to judge?
"Bring her to me." Seikon said. My heart skipped a beat. He wasn't a normal man. His presence seemed to crush my soul. The samurai standing behind me gripped my hands and they were pinned to my back. I was harshly being shoved forward, toward the general. A man rumored to have lived a thousand years and have slain a hundred times that. The pain only increased as I wriggled and writhed. Soon enough, I was right behind the tall imposing figure of the district general himself.
He turned around and stared at me. His inhumane eyes see to be prying all over me. He grabbed my neck. I could instantly feel the life being drawn from me. He swung me around and braced me against the guardrail. His grip was unbearable.
"As general, I consider this as an accomplishment. I have already murdered the terrorist Kyukesei Aota and his daughter soon follows!"
The words stung my heart. Kyukesei Aota, the one and only terrorist in all of Meirochi. They had killed him, took is life mercilessly. The trademark of the samurai. Now the tears rolling down my cheeks were lamenting on two souls. They had killed him, my father. So if he was dead I no longer had anyone to call father. No one to call mother, sibling or aunt. No one. I was all alone for real this time. There was no more reason for me to live alone. It was an unbearable pain. I closed my eyes. My father's bright smile haunted my thoughts.
Papa.
"Let her go!" I heard a tiny yet determinant voice shout. It was faint, as all my senses were fading. But I knew it belonged to a fellow acquaintance. "Dammit!"
I heard the loud scream of someone else. A scream of pain. And the loud footsteps of the evacuating crowd barely managed to reach my brain.
"Die, you idiot!" The voice came again, with anger and fear and sadness.
I felt the tight grip leave my neck as soon as I was about to fade into the afterlife. I fell onto the floor and started to cough. The air coming back into my lungs seemed to be helping with my suffocation. My body was weak and I fell to the floor. My vision blurred but I saw. I saw a small girl, repeatedly stabbing her knife into someone on the floor. Uncaring of the blood that was splattering all over uniform.
"What if you killed her you idiot!!?" She screamed again. Tears streamed from her eyes. She then stopped and dropped the knife. She stared at her bloody hands and stood up and walked over to me.
I felt her shake my body.
"Are you alright?! Aota-senpai!?" I could notice the faces of the rest of the frightened teachers and children as they watched the scene. They quickly turned and ran. I repositioned my gaze to my savior who cried endlessly.
"Why are you here? You should've stayed hidden at the Mirutsuhikaichi." I told her, fearing what they might've done to her if they found out she murdered their general. Just a little girl.
"Aota-senpai." She cried. A sad smile crept over her face. Did she not care for herself? "You don't feel pain do you? You're not hurt? No? Good. I was worried."
Her words sounded familiar. I felt some deja vu. The strength was slowly started seeping back into my body. I stood up and she stood beside me, holding my hand with hers. Even though they were stained, it was the most comfortable feeling.
"Aren't you afraid? What if they come for you? You shouldn't have. . ."
"I said I don't care!" She shouted. "Aota-senpai is my only. Before I met you, I was all alone and I cannot go back to that. I'd rather die!" She shouted atop her lungs. Her words made me feel to cry. "I'd die for you Aota-senpai, can't you understand?!"
More to reassure me, she seemed to be making an oath to herself. It was her own selfish desire to protect me but I did'nt care. Ever since she met me, her weird affection was confusing but now I think I understood. It was painful to be alone and those that weren't continue to live happily without noticing it. If you were to find an escape from that hell, you surely wouldn't let it go. If love was a shape, for Okonayami, it'd be a heart. For the love and care she had for me. And her strength oblige on with hole in a dark abyss.
"Okonayami-chan. . ." I wondered what to say. Would I ever be as to care for as much as she did me? My love was a square. I was stuck in a box labeled loneliness. And in all that time, feelings of affection had slowly died away. She needed me and I needed her. That much was true. But it was all to soon, all too confusing, all too fast. . .
"There they are!" Someone shouted. It was a samurai with a few pauldrons over his shoulders. Two or three, the mark of a liutenant. And behind him was a few more. They were all armed and ready to kill. I placed a hand in front of Okonoyami as if to defend her. But she simply held it warmly.
My heart fluttered, even in the face of death. What was wrong with me?
The leading samurai didn't waste time. Upon noticing the obvious situation, he drew his sword and came towards us. We were about to die it seemed. But unlike a few minutes ago, now I wanted to live. I wanted to live because I was needed and cared for by someone. I wanted to live!
"You wish to live?" The voice sounded in my head. I panicked. This was the voice of a woman, not the indistinguishable voice of my mind. I wanted to say 'yes, I do' but that would be pointless.
The samurai was almost upon us now. His weapon gleamed against the sun, probably acknowledging our coming fates. He was about to deliver the blow when he suddenly froze. His eyes seemed to have witnessed a ghost as they, like his body, went rigid. His companions also seemed to be experiencing the same trauma. The crowd was no longer there. I turned to look behind me.
"Don't!" A voice demanded. I froze instantly. I felt Okonayami shiver in my arms as well. I had to be stronger, not just for my reputation, but as Okonayami's senpai. "Without a heart as black as night. Without a soul that would willingly kill the innocent. You cannot look at me. For you shall surely die. . .Just like these samurai."
The sword fell effortlessly from his hand and fell to the floor. His eyes lost their light as his soul faded. He fell limply, along with his companions onto the floor. My beating heart stopped my mouth from speaking and pulsating brain stopped my mind from comprehending. I could feel the presence of someone else on the roof but it didn't feel like a human. The sun seemed to grow dim, darkening the landscape.
"If you wish to live, listen to what I say." Another voice came. It sounded like the voice of a slithery snake. Dark and serious. "Close your eyes so that I may save your lives."
Fear crept over me. What was this inhumane being that was speaking to me? How had it stopped the samurai? Was this magic? I was going to die either way so I closed my eyes, awaiting the worst. After a few more seconds, I reopened them. I was no longer on the roof of the Torihikaichi, but Okonayami. . .I looked over to her. She was looking back at me, her hand in mine. All around, all I could see was thin bamboo obscuring the sky. We were in a forest of some sort. The shrubs and bushes though, weren't overgrown.
Someone walked by me. It was a man dressed in long black clothing. Everything about him, his attire, his presence, all was dark. Even his voice as he spoke. . .
"From here on." He said. "You both are in debt for my saving your lives. So to compensate me, all I ask of you is this one thing. . ."
He stared us dead into the eyes, stating his utter unwavering seriousness in the sound of his voice.
Will you allow me to spread the darkness through your heart?
--To the next episode--