Chereads / Lonely Yuri / Chapter 4 - Story 3: A thousand steps of Grief p1: Kanashimi no Chiho

Chapter 4 - Story 3: A thousand steps of Grief p1: Kanashimi no Chiho

Today, I miss them. I would've gladly welcomed them. Their noises, their chatter. I knew not how long it would take for me to see them again. Still, I will wait. So will the cicadas. They'll wait until I return. But whenever that happens, I won't be the same.

Erichin mountain pass

2001

Day 1

After such a long time, the water rushing all around me felt good. The only sort of comfort I had after the samurai had come for Todoroki. But after that, I had to return to the dirty clothes I had been wearing before. I felt a splash of water against me but I ignored it. It was embarrassing, to bathe alongside her. But I didn't care. Right now, she was my most important person.

Meirochi district

1998

Okonayami's house

I wasn't always a placid, emotionless being. I was once a young, youthful, overly joyous girl. But this monster that I had become, it wasn't intentional, it was the fault of human beings. It was the fault of men.

"Thanks for the food." I said before eating. It was a polite gesture I had learned not so long ago and had decided to put to good use.

Mother had put extra effort into her tonkatsu as to soothe father's drunken state when he got home from the war. She wasn't my mother, she was just my father's second wife. But I was warned to address her as if she was.

"Wait until your father gets home." Mother warned. "Then you can eat."

All that meat put into one meal was irresistible. It made my mouth water after a day of so much excersice. Still, I knew it'd be a bit salty because father always works up a sweat whenever he's working. I sighed.

"May I be excused?" I asked, getting up. She nodded and I left.

I entered my room and sat on the tatami mat. I shuffled through a box of discarded parchment and took out what I wanted. My heart sank as I realized that the ink was fading. I would have rewrote it but it even I could not understand my own calligraphy. I opened it.

It was a story. Well, the first chapter of one. I had gotten it as a valuable present since parchments were a bit pricy. It was a story told and written by either the samurai or travelers. Either way, it had intrigued me.

It was a story about a woman, a goddess. Her name was Aesthaea. She lived on the moon. During the Tachiban Toshi Kyu-jyu Kyu, the ninety nine year war, she had gotten a dislike towards men. Especially the samurai.

Women, in those days, were treated with disregard because of their lack of skill in physical combat. They were the farmers planting, reaping and replanting again. They were the caretakers of the house, the cooks. They were even abused or used for sexual comfort to soothe the men before a war. Aesthaea was disgusted by men's behavior towards them and women's inability to defend themselves.

Aesthaea herself was of no good. She once abided with the other deities in the heavens but decided to come down and take the lives of men. Being a goddess of women, beauty and had evil intentions. She was cast out to a city called Hirsugiminen where she abducts women and uses them for war. She herself knew that it was cruel but it was for the better of the rest. After that, a sickness erupted from the western countries and covered all of Japan. Killing thousands of people and ending the pointless war. They called it Aesthaea's sin. Hirsugiminen.

Other than that, I didn't know much. Still, even though it was just a story, I made her my idol. Aesthaea, the goddess of women.

"Okonayami-chan!"

"What is it, ka-san?"

"Your father's here. Come eat your dinner."

"Okay."

I put back the scrolls into the box and shoved it under my desk. They hadn't known but that wasn't how I addressed my real mother. I always called her mama for the two years I knew her. Wherever and whenever.

Now I had forgotten her.

I came back to the dining room and sat at the table. Father hadn't bothered to remove his stained armor. He just sat at the table, unmindful of the stench the blood had on him. I scrunched up my nose to declare the message.

"Rozu, your armor. Could you. . ."

"Just shut up!"

Mother quickly quieted. As Aesthaea would say. This is the unchanging behavior of men. Women are either too scared to fight or too weak to win. So, just hide in the shadows until they're unguarded.

"Father? Does the tonkatsu taste good? Ka-san put a lot of effort into making the cutlets and I helped cutting the vegetables. . ."

I had wanted him to say 'yes, Okonayami, it's good' or 'im very proud' but instead:

"Good. That's all your good for. Don't be proud or act high and mighty. Its the least a woman can do."

I could feel mother fidget and cringe but didn't do a thing. And Aesthaea would label her as 'pitiful housewife'. And I'm sure I was no different. I was pitiful. In all my stories, nothing good ever comes from it about the men and their swords. Why do they even exist? To war? To use us as slaves? We could live without them. They don't have to exist.

Some time later

I was helping mother clean the dishes. As usual, father would loaf around at a bar with his military friends. Drinking sake. To me, he was the one that was pitiful. To be able to crush a hundred man with your fist means you're strong. But to be taken from under the label, pitiful. You have to be strong in the out and inside. Your heart has to be strong as well. Father's was weak and dead.

He doesn't need to exist. Without men, there is no war. Women can keep the world going. But what about children? That was a thought for later. I don't know how children are produced anyway.

That night I went to bed. Lying in the futon, staring at the ceiling. Awaiting the sleep to dominate. Not my body, but the body of those that needed not to exist. I would carry out Aesthaea's work for her.

Surely for that, I would be blessed.

Erichin mountain pass

2001

Day 1

\TODOROKI/

I couldn't help but stare at the little girl beside me, daydreaming. The water obscured her figure and mine so we had no need to be ashamed. So why was I blushing? I started to get out of the water, taking advantage of her daydreaming state. I quickly headed towards the rock I had placed my uniform on.

"Todoroki-senpai. Thank you."

I heard her say. Thanks for what? Had she seen me? I turned to look back at her. She was smiling. Was she not ashamed? Maybe it's the fact that she wasn't like me. I hurriedly began putting on the uniform. It felt disgusting so I went back into the water with it on. It'd dry on me eventually anyway.

"Todoroki-senpai, what if you catch a cold?" Okonayami asked, concerned.

"Hehe. I hadn't thought of that."

"I wouldn't bear it if you caught sick."

"You won't have to."

Our conversation may have been odd, but to me, it was normal.

"Could you wash my back. My hands are too short. I can't reach there."

"Wha. . A. . .?"

"Todoroki-senpai? Are you ashamed?"

". . .No, no. I was just, surprised. Give me your rag."

"I didn't bring one."

"Then what did you bathe with."

"My hands. That's why I can't reach my back."

". . .Eh?"

"Do you have a rag?"

No, I didn't. Just like her. My bare hands and clean water had to do the job. I felt like a primitive beast.

"Alright. Here I go. . ."

I said and slowly touched her back. She flinched.

"Ngh!"

"Oh, sorry. Did it hurt?"

I asked, drawing back my hands.

"No, no. I was just, surprised."

"I see."

I put my hand on her back. Now I was confused. What was I supposed to do next?

"How old are you, Okonayami-chan?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Just, curious."

"I'm nine. I was born in 1992. On Christmas day."

"I see."

I still hadn't moved my hand an inch.

"What about you? When were you born?"

"1986. I'm fifteen. I wasn't born on any special day."

"The day you were born is special to me." She said. I blushed again. Where did she get so charismatic? "Todoroki-senpai?"

"Hm?"

"Just rub around my back a little. Don't go easy, or the dirt won't come off."

"O. . .okay."

I did as told and started to rub her back. Even though she said not to go easy, I didn't want to cause her pain.

"Todoroki-senpai? Why aren't you naked like me?"

"Ugh. Don't ask such questions."

"Hehe."

"Hey? What's taking so long. I've gotta go bathe too ya know!?" Razael screamed.

"Guess we've gotta get out now, senpai."

"Guess so."

Erichin mountain pass

2001

Erichin plains

Day 1

The sound of our feet were completely inaudible against the plains. To each side were mountains. And the middle, where we were, was an unending plain.

"Back at that rock." I asked. "Seikon was alive. How come?"

"Let's see. . .Seikon is what you humans refer to as immortal. He's a Fumetsu. He can only die by what created him." Daizaiel explained.

"And what is that?" Okonayami asked.

"Dark stuff. Aesthaea will tell you."

"What does she want with us?"

"She'll tell you that as well."

I frowned at the lack of knowledge. Still, I had no choice but to comply. The sun was up in the sky, reminding me that I had no breakfast.

"Back at the mountain, you mentioned food and supplies. . .?"

"Ah that." Daizaiel said. "Hehe, I lied."

"Eeeh?!"

"We'll have to hunt." Razael said.

"Hunt? Hunt what?" Okonayami asked.

"Game of course."

"That's not what she meant. There's nothing in this stupid place."

"To cross the plains is a week's worth of nonstop walking. To travel through the mountains where there's 'game' would take at least a month."

"Those in favor of the mountains?" Razael shouted like a child."

"I."

"I."

"That's not very practical." Daizaiel said. "Aesthaea-sama is. . ."

"You want to bring Aesthaea a bunch of dead bodies? Including me? I can't live for a week without food. Especially if it's nonstop walking."

"You're not important right now." Daizaiel remarked.

"Eh."

We turned toward the left and headed for the mountains. The scorching devil was much more than a tease today, and cursing it would only make it worse.

"You know what happens when we leave Erichin don't you?" Daizaiel asked.

"Oh come on. Whatever dangers we come across, I'll brave them for you!"

"Why didn't you brave the samurai?"

"That was an exception."

"What happens when we leave Erichin?" I asked, suddenly taking note that Erichin must've been the pass we were in.

"Erichin, Kyugetsu and Meijuu are under the control of Aesthaea-sama. Anything that belongs to her and comes from under that control is labeled 'STD'."

"Eh!?"

"That's not very nice to call someone an STD." Okonayami said seriously.

"It means sure to die." Razael explained.

"That's even worse." I said.

"Why 'sure to die'?" Okonayami asked.

"There are many things that exist other than the samurai and the brigands."

"Like what?" I feared the answer.

"I don't know much since I never leave the pass. You should ask Razael."

We looked over to him. He was stopping, staring at a white flower. He took it up then shook his head. His gaze remained serious. He then let it go and shouted:

"Hi guys! Guess what!?"

"Can he listen to flowers?" Okonayami asked, intrigued. I, myself was beginning to wonder what kind of person he was.

"No. He's just an idiot." Daizaiel sighed. "Still, he's effective when he needs to be. I'm sure he never left you at the hands of the samurai. He may be just a messenger but he's incomparable to a normal human being. Anyone from Hirsugiminen is remarkable."

"I see."

The sun was still high when we reached the mountains. My stomach didn't contain itself, caring not for my shame it screamed for attention.

"I'm starving!" I admitted. They had saved me and now I was depending on them to feed me. So I wasn't very bothersome. At least I tried not to be.

"Where do you find game in this place?" Razael asked.

"I'll find something. You can rest awhile or begin to make a camp. As I'm sure you're all 'tired'."

He gestured with his fingers then left. I sat down and sighed. Okonayami sat beside me.

"As the trees sway and the flowers dance, the presence of the breeze is apparent. It tells of misfortune and of grief. . ."

I was growing irritated. What was wrong with this guy? He's mad, I'm sure.

"Todoroki, Mitsu, something's not right."

Up until now I hadn't known Okonayami's last name. I hadn't thought to ask. But that wasn't important right now.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"These petals." He held out his hand and a pink petal fell lightly into it.

"What about them?" Okonayami asked.

He turned to us with a grave look in his face.

"How're there cherry blossoms if all the trees are green? Autumn hasn't even started yet."

I looked around. Surely, all the trees were green. The petals were falling from gaps between the branches, not the tree itself. How hadn't I noticed?

"What's that mean?"

Razael turned and ran into a random direction. Was there danger and he was running away again? Were we outside of the Erichin and were sure to die? What kind of an enigma is this? Razael returned a little later with a tall girl wriggling in his hands. He slowly put her down. She punched him in the stomach.

"Don't ever do that again you crazy bastard?!"

"Yes, yes. Forgive me."

"Tch!"

"Who is that?" Okonayami asked. The girl crossed her arms.

"Humph!" She said.

"Her name is. . ."

"Shut up! I can introduce my own self God dammit!" She sighed and looked towards us. She was wearing a red shirt and cape. Beneath her belt was a red skirt, and for some ungodly reason, a black stocking and shoe. She had a bow and a quiver of arrows slung across her back. She had a basket of towels in hand.

Her face was proud with her unruly, long blonde hair and she stood confidently.

"It's Aka! Hanabira Aka!"

--To the next episode--