Friday
Alissandra Cadence
It was just a normal day like it used to be, still hesitating to go to school, but I have to. High school life is such an err... I went down to prepare for school and sat at our table, and our cute cat Molly woke up from her mat and gave me a morning cuddle. It's cute, orange fur enlightened my mood and reminds me of my sister, Rebecca. Since she was the one who wanted to adopt this cat. I miss my childhood days with her. Rebecca died 10 years ago, I am just one year older than her, she was taken too soon because she's just an eight-year-old girl that has nothing to do but smile. Yet, life happens and we can't change it. Molly stood for a moment and said
"Save me, Alissa.." Molly spoke but all I heard was Rebecca's voice, and yet distorted.
I suddenly snapped out and I'm sitting at the table, it was just a daydream and there's no Molly, it was just my mom's orange furry bag on the table. I had reminded myself that Molly died 5 years ago. I ate my meal and wore my uniform and already went on my way. I don't know what's happening, but I already have a bad feeling about this. I took the bus since I had no choice, dad already left before dawn.
Inside the bus was so noisy that I can't even think about what happened earlier. I barely talk to someone and had no close friends either. I'm such a loner since then. I had a flashback about that night when Rebecca died.
FLASHBACK - Alissandra Cadence
The two of us came with mom to the ATM and we will eat at a fast-food restaurant afterward. While waiting for mom's turn, Rebecca is already hungry.
"Mommy! I wanna eat already," Rebecca said while pulling mom's skirt.
"Just hold on a second, honey. I'm almost close to my turn," mom said and pulled her closer.
I was just sitting at the bench at the side and swaying my feet.
"But I want something to eat, mommy! I want candy!" she said and was starting to cry.
Mom just sighed "Okay, Alissandra, come with your sister and buy some food for you both,"
Well, I don't really have a choice though. Mom somehow trusts me because I already know how to buy something at a store since I always come with her.
Mom gave us money, and then we left mom at the ATM and we were just going to buy something to eat and luckily found a convenience store on the same street. We had enough money for both of us and bought what we want and left already. We were at the side of the road, already heading back to mom. Rebecca is just behind me since she's so stubborn and doesn't want me to hold her.
"Come on, Rebecca! Hold my hand."
"Nah, I don't trust you," then she stuck her tongue out. " You're probably plotting something so you can steal my candy," she said then hid her food behind her.
I just rolled my eyes and continued walking while holding my biscuit. I looked back at her for a second and saw her smile at me and ate her candy. Then I continued walking, walking, and walking...
HOOOOOONK!
I heard a loud honk of a car somewhere then suddenly felt a strong gush of wind behind along with a loud crash. It happened so fast that I didn't even have time to react. I'm still not turning around until I felt some liquid on my back and on my arm, and I was shocked, it was blood. I knew what happened and slowly turned back.
I suddenly broke down into tears and covered my mouth as I slowly knelt on the ground. There was my sister, she's dead. She's in between the car and the wall, my sister got crushed.
"Shit, fuck!"
The driver quickly ran away, but his cap fell and didn't hesitate to get it back, he just ran straight until I can't see him anymore. As a nine-year-old girl, I don't know what to do with the guy and about what happened to Rebecca. There are also no people walking nearby. I just cried until the police and my mom came.
"Oh my God! What happened!" she said and quickly checked Rebecca "Oh my Jesus gracious! Alissandra? Are you okay? What happened to your sister?!"
I can't even speak, I am completely frozen in shock.
It's hard, I could barely see Rebecca, but I still saw her innocent face. It reminds me of everything. The ground is almost covered by her blood and is splattered almost everywhere. I don't want to look at her but I still can't believe what just happened. She died from a car accident, because the police confirmed that the car had lost control and the break was lost, and the police knew that the car was just stolen by the driver since the police have contacted the owner of the car and the owner said that their car has been missing for 2 days.
END OF FLASHBACK
Until now, the culprit was still unknown. I saw the driver's face but I can't even remember now, I can't recognize him anymore. Until the investigation closed. But still, we seek justice for her death. I still feel guilty, I somehow blame myself for what happened to her. If I could only change what happened, I will.
No matter the cost.
The bus stopped, and we're already at school. I got off the bus and went inside the school campus, I just walked while looking down, trying to hide my tears. Walking while holding my papers onto my chest. Until someone stopped right in front of me.
"Hey, what's wrong with you?"
I looked up and realized that it was Jason. Jason freaking McKenley.
"Oh, were you crying?" he asked.
"No reason, and it's none of your business, okay? So, can I go now?" I said then passed by him.
He reached me again and talked to me while walking backward.
"What's the matter? Why are you always acting like this?" he said.
It's clear that he likes me, that's why I'm avoiding him. I like him too but I'm still afraid to commit. I'm not denying anything, and it is also not impossible that a guy would like me either. I may be good looking, has nice clothes, fair white skin, blonde hair, I have it all. The only problem is, I'm not really socialistic.
Jason is also good-looking, my ideal guy honestly. He's tall, slim and toned, has black hair and blue eyes. His perfect jawline is everything, it makes him so attractive. I like him, but everyone hates us when we're together. It's pretty complicated but you'll understand why. And also, something just doesn't feel right.
Am I crazy?
I don't want to talk to him about anything, so I just went into my classroom, and the people outside began laughing because Jason just stumbled and fell, good for him. I just sat there quietly while waiting for our teacher to arrive.
Few hours have passed and as always, bored with every subject. While waiting for the time, I just drew some sketches in my sketchbook like I was a really good artist, but my hands don't respect the ideas that come to my mind.
"MISS CADENCE ARE YOU STILL LISTENING?" Mr. Desmond shouted.
I quickly stood up "Uhhh, regret. Regret is a feeling of sadness or disappointment, which is caused by something that has happened or something that you have done or not done," I answered.
"Very good, keep your attention to our lesson," he said.
The two girls behind me just started gossiping quietly about - me?
"Yeah, do you ever think about how she got into the highest honors? I literally have no idea."
"Who knows? Maybe someone's sleeping with Mr. Desmond," the other girl replied.
Well, I don't really care about what they say. And what they were thinking about me is obviously untrue. And the fact that a girl that is literally receiving C- every exam had the literal audacity to say that around me? The frick... I just didn't mind them at all.
The bell rang and all of my classmates are already leaving. I went out of the classroom and saw Jason in the hall, which didn't surprise me, like really. He does it every day so there's nothing special about it. I went through the hall, but he suddenly grabbed my hand.
"Could you at least try to talk to me for a sec?" he said.
I don't want to keep it like this so I did talk to him against my will.
"What's the matter, Liss?" He said.
"It's nothing, really. I-I just had a little...flashbacks...earlier."
"Again?" he unsurprisingly said.
"You're experiencing this almost every time, aren't you worried about it?" he added.
"Well, I don't feel anything wrong either so why would I be?" I uncertainly said.
"If you need someone to talk to, I'm just right here. If you need help, call me right aw-"
"Why are you so kind?! Why do you keep doing this to me? Stop treating me like I am really special to you because every time that you do, I just suddenly hope that there's still a chance for us to be-"
He cut me off and hugged me tightly, and we stood there while I am crying. Wait, I'm crying? I used to like him before, but those days are over. As a clarification, I and Jason were best friends before then suddenly stopped when the time he confessed his love to me. I removed his hands from my shoulder and started to walk away.
I'm already in the parking lot. I suddenly heard a loud honk of a car from behind which scared me and just reminded me of everything.
It's just my dad.
"Hey sweetie, what's wrong? What's with the teary eyes?" he said.
I just went in the backseat and answered "You just scared the hell outta me, that's all." Thinking about what happened today, too many things happened so I'll just give myself a rest. Until Jason texted me, which destroyed my mood.
(4:46 PM) Jason: Hey, do you mind hanging out tomorrow?? I really want to talk to you.
I don't know what I was doing but-
(4:47 PM) Me: Fine, what time?
(4:48 PM) Jason: 5 PM since it's Saturday tomorrow, I'll text you where. My treat.
I just didn't reply anymore and about how he knows me, he'll receive that treatment as a yes.
As we go down the road, I saw Mrs. Caulfield. She's walking down the street and she's holding some bags which are probably groceries. She's a family friend, my mom's close friend actually. They met each other in my preschool age, since her daughter is also my classmate, you'll get to know her later. She's absolutely stunning despite her age, and she doesn't look that old either way. And yeah, everything starts to feel weird, and I haven't even noticed that we're already home. I already went in, and dad as well. I just spent the rest of my day laying down on my bed until I finally fell asleep.
I woke up, at only one glance; I knew that I was dreaming. And I found myself in a child's body, which was - me, it's the young Alissa, how I missed this. Everything seems so happy and vibrant that makes negative thoughts impossible on devouring minds. And she was there, Rebecca. She still looks like the happiest girl back then. I looked at her as if it's my last. I approached her and was about to hug her.
And I suddenly woke up in reality. I quickly closed my eyes again, trying to catch my dream, but it was too late. I just sat on my bed and cried. I want to see her again. I want to change everything if I could. I would've held her tight that night. I just sighed and laid down again, cried till I fell asleep again.