Dirty water

I don't like bananas but I eat mine anyways, because it's all I have and my stomach is hollow. "Better eat the whole thing, kid. We don't waste around here." A stern looking man says, he is old and looks tired. Narrow eyes with deep crows feet, and hair that is otherwise not there. He is dressed in a large puffy jacket, gloves, and a hat in his hands which I'm sure he will not keep off for long. I take a bite of my banana, suddenly feeling pressured to make sure I finish it. "What brings you to this part of the hole, kid?" He says, groaning like an old man as he sits next to me, his back against the brick wall—like me. I'm not sure what to say, what should I say? That my parents abandoned me? That they died to save me? That my brother was shot in the back to shield me from a bullet made for me? I say nothing, just shrug and take a bite, the last one, of my banana. I flop the peel around in my hand before a pile of clothes are dropped in my lap. I startle and look up to see a young woman smiling at me, she is covered head to toe in winter gear. "The essentials." She says "I suggest you wear all of it, you're gonna need it if you value having all of your fingers and toes." I'm glad everyone else is so talkative so that I don't have to be. If I had it my way, I'd never speak again. My mind is still fuzzy, I can't quite sift through all of the events that occurred before I came here. The day I decided to leave my dedication was the day I ruined everything. If I had stayed, my brother would still be alive, as would my parents. I shake my head, forcing myself to stop thinking about it because my eyes are beginning to sting—tears, something I can not afford to indulge in right now. I look around, at everyone. People congregate in small groups in different corners of the room, talking amongst each other and sharing cans of food. Most of these people look cleaner than me, there must be showers here. "Come with me." The woman says to me, different from the one who handed me my clothes. "I'll show you to your room." I nod, getting up with my things gathered against my chest. She walks fast so I do my best to keep up. She is slim, like me, but much taller, her hair is blond and pulled into a tight bun that sits low against her neck. "This is you." She says, turning around to face me, her hand holding a door open as she smiles at me. I nod at her again before stepping into the room. It's fairly small. With grey walls, a gray ceiling, and a twin sized bed with white bedding. "There'll be a small meeting in the mess hall in about an hour, you can join if you'd like." This is the final thing she says to me before closing the door. Once the door is shut, the ringing in my ears is all I'm left with. This is the most silent my world has been in a very long time and I sit on the edge of my bed, inviting it.