When he flung open the basement door, the brilliant sunlight of Meg's arena blinded him. Theo blinked hard to clear his view before stepping out onto the solid wooden floor.
At the far end of the platform, beyond the floating shelves, stood a tall armored figure. His cape flapped as he swung his sword down over and over again, as if trying to cut the air itself.
The repetitive motion hypnotized Theo. Every stroke remained firm and true, with Zenith showing no signs of flagging; not even the rhythm of his breathing changed. It was uncanny, in a way. Machine-like.
Swallowing his nerves, Theo walked over to Zenith. Surely Zenith heard his approach, but the knight didn't turn around, only continued swinging his sword with that unsettling mix of mania and eerie calm.
When he was within a few steps of Zenith, Theo cleared his throat. "Uh...hi, Zenith."
"Theo." At last Zenith spoke, but his voice was quiet, and he didn't turn around. 'Swish,' the sword went, futilely cutting through the air.
"Um...." Some cowardly voice in Theo was beginning to wish he had stayed in bed after all, but he shoved it down as far as it could go. "I...um...how are you feeling?"
Swish. "I am training."
"Yeah, I can see that...." Theo took in a breath that didn't quite fill his lungs. "But, I mean...are you angry at me?"
For the first time, Zenith gave some hint of a reaction; his shoulders stiffened, and he stilled the sword for a fraction of a second. Only to swing it back down with renewed ferocity.
"Why would I be?"
"Because – because I got us into that stupid fight in the first place. Because we lost." Each word made Theo's throat hurt more and more, but they wouldn't stop spilling out. "It's my fault, I was selfish – "
"It wasn't your fault. The only fault lies with me."
"You?" Shocked, Theo ran up to Zenith's side. Now had a good view of Zenith's profile, though there was no emotion to be seen on the knight's face, only grim resolve.
"You didn't do anything wrong," Theo protested.
"It was my weakness that resulted in our loss." Swish. "So I am training to overcome it."
"No, that's...that's....."
"I will become stronger." Swish. "I will overcome all weakness so I can perfect myself as your familiar." Swish. "That is my duty."
Duty. By now, Theo was sick and tired of that word. He watched Zenith slash the sword again and again, faster and fiercer each time.
"You are angry, aren't you?" The question burst out before he could stop it. "Maybe at yourself, not me, but you're still angry."
"I am a homunculus. I do not experience emotions."
His voice was flatter than Theo had ever heard it. It slashed through him like an icy knife, making him lurch backward. Ryan's words, Avia's impassive masked face, what everyone else had just told him, swirled around in a violent whirlwind inside his head.
But through his horror, Theo saw the crease between Zenith's brows, the increasing strength behind each sword swipe. A bizarre spark of hope leaped in his chest.
"I don't believe that!" He reached out and grabbed Zenith's arm. Zenith whirled upon him, eyes huge with shock, and it flooded Theo with savage vindication. That most certainly was not the face of an emotionless machine.
"I don't believe that," Theo said again, quieter, but just as fierce. "And neither do you. I don't care what Ryan or anyone else says. I've seen with my own eyes all the emotions you have. You were happy exploring the neighborhood with me. You've been worried about me multiple times. And you were horrified when I forfeited. So don't – so don't think you can lie to me like that."
He was trembling by the time he finished, barely able to stay upright. Yet he didn't release his grip on Zenith's arm, only dug his fingers deeper, and never stopped glaring into Zenith's face.
Zenith blinked, once, twice. "I'm not lying," he finally said, though his voice came out soft, uncertain. "Please unhand me. I must return to training."
"No!" Theo gripped tighter. "Not until you tell me what exactly is bothering you."
"Is that an order?" Zenith's tone was matter-of-fact, no hint of a challenge.
"No." Furious, Theo swallowed back a sob. What right did he have? "It's a request. I'm asking you, because – because I want to know what you really think, how you really feel. Because I care about you. So, s-so – " To his great shame, his voice trembled. "So! Just, if you want to, then...then let me know, so I can help you. Please."
He stepped closer to Zenith, close enough to smell the metal beneath his sweaty palm. Tears stung the corners of his eyes but he furiously blinked them back, determined not to let anything obscure his view of Zenith.
Zenith's eyes were wide, shining with a quiet surprise that made him seem so painfully innocent. And it was true, wasn't it? As fierce as he might be on the battlefield, he was clueless about all sorts of ordinary things. Not because he was a machine, but because no one had ever taught him. If Theo could be the one to teach him, even just a little bit....
"I am...." Zenith paused, then started again. "I am the one who is supposed to help you."
"Why? Because it's your duty?"
"Yes." Zenith nodded, seeming relieved. "It is my duty to fight for you. To protect you. But...." He whipped his head to the side, hair swinging. "You – you protected me. A familiar protects his wizard. A knight protects his lord. It should not be the other way around. For it to be so means that I have failed, completely and utterly."
His voice grew fierce and he clenched his free hand into a trembling fist. Theo could hear the armor plates grinding against each other.
"It was your decision. I...I had to accept it. But you only made that decision because of my inadequacy."
"No, that's not it," Theo protested, heart thudding. "I just – I didn't want you to be hurt. Because of my stupid, selfish reasons."
"Your reasons don't matter. I must fight for you all the same. And I am willing to endure anything to fulfill my duty to you."
"That's just so...so...." Tears pricked Theo's eyes again. "So unfair. You're always getting hurt for my sake. Why does it have to be like that? Why can't I ever do anything for you?"
"You can. Give me your orders. Your orders, and your trust." Zenith was speaking so quietly, Theo had to lean close to hear. "Trust me to fight and win for your sake."
"That's why you're upset, isn't it?' Theo leaned his forehead against Zenith's arm. "You thought I didn't trust you."
Zenith's silence said everything.
"If I...if I do give you orders, would that mean I trust you? Is that what you want? For us to be like...like they were?"
The sound of armor creaking made Theo snap his head up. Zenith hadn't spoken, but he was nodding, slow and pained. His mouth was pressed into a thin, tight line.