Theo thought of Ryan carelessly sitting back while Avia took damage, boasting about how well he commanded his homunculus. Something hot and ferocious surged in his chest and he found himself shaking his head over and over again.
"I can't do that. I can't. I mean, I want to help you, I want to trust you, but not if it means treating you like just a tool. Why can't we work together? As partners?"
"Partners....?" Zenith repeated hesitantly, as if he had never heard the word before.
"It means we help each other. We both give, we both take." Theo sucked in a deep breath, drawing on all his courage. If he could find even a fraction of what he'd summoned when he'd decided to save Victor or free Sam, he would have succeeded. "I will trust you to fight for me. But I won't treat you as a weapon to settle my personal grudges. I'll think about your desires as well. Every battle we walk into, it's going to be one we've both agreed to fight."
"Theo, that's – " When Zenith cut off, Theo blinked at him in surprise, only to see a familiar resolve hardening his eyes. "Is that your will?"
The least Theo could do was answer that resolve. "Yes, it is," he said firmly. "Now tell me yours."
"My will?" Just like that, doubt slipped back into Zenith's voice.
"Right. Because my will is for this to be a partnership, which means I need to know what you want too. Okay?" Theo had no idea if that made any sense, but it felt right.
"Ah." Zenith swallowed. "Then, I....I....what I want is....for you to be my lord."
Theo's heart sank. Of course he should have known this wouldn't be that simple.
"I know...that isn't what you want." Zenith hung his head, hair descending in a curtain around his face. "But you asked me for my will. I have spent my entire life searching for a liege to serve, one to whom I could devote my entire self. When I finally found my liege, I felt...complete. Then I met you. The lord who would allow me to fight to the fullest for my liege. I was...."
He paused for such a long time Theo wondered if he was ever going to finish. Even so, he bit his tongue, sensing that Zenith was gathering all his courage to continue.
When Zenith finally lifted his head, the expression on his face hit Theo like a punch to the gut. He'd never seen Zenith's eyes like this before, brimming with the strangest mix of terror and fervor.
"I was...happy. Yes. Happier than I had ever been. I would like...if I could...to experience that...happiness...again."
His words came slow and hesitant, as if he was tearing each one out of his heart. But he spoke them anyway, and never once removed his gaze from Theo's face. Admiration swelled inside Theo, burning and painful. Just a few minutes ago, Zenith had insisted he didn't have emotions; what must it be taking him to admit he wanted to be happy?
The least Theo could do was answer. Taking a deep breath, he let go of Zenith's arm and stepped back. "I...I want to make you happy, Zenith. If I can, then...."
Zenith blinked at him, but didn't say anything. So Theo plunged ahead.
"Can you tell me what being your lord means to you? Like, what you expect from me. I'll do my best to live up to it. But if you expect me to be like Ryan, I don't...." Theo forced down a lump in his throat. "I just can't do that."
"It's as I said earlier. Trust me to fight for you. And...and if you could give me orders on the battlefield, from time to time...." Zenith trailed off, as if embarrassed.
"That would make you happy?"
A slow, careful nod.
"Okay." Theo breathed out. "Then I'll do it. But get this straight, Zenith. I'm not going to make you do all the work for me. I want to be a lord who fights alongside his knight."
Zenith drew in a sharp breath, but then squared his shoulders and lifted his chin. "By your will."
He'd said those words many times, and they'd always bothered Theo a little, but now he sensed they held a meaning to Zenith beyond just meekly submitting to someone else's orders. That for him it was a promise, a way of upholding his own pride and honor and sense of self.
Theo wouldn't say he understood it completely, but at the very least he could try.
"So now I know what you want, and you know what I want," Theo said. He reached out and took Zenith's hands. "That's the first step to being partners. Let's do this together, okay, Zenith?"
When Zenith's hands twitched, Theo made to pull away, but he suddenly squeezed back just as hard. Caught within his armored grip, Theo felt safe and secure, anchored in place.
His heart skipped into his throat when he saw that Zenith was smiling. Soft and subtle, barely an upward quirk of his mouth, but it made Theo feel like the sun had risen anew.
"Yes, this is it," he said, quiet and contemplative. "This is what I saw in you when we first met. Yes, I think...I will trust you. A lord who fights alongside his knight. Partners. I do not understand it fully yet, but I will...answer your resolve."
"Zenith," Theo whispered, wonder rising in his chest.
"Then, if you don't mind, I have another...request." Zenith briefly dropped his gaze, only to lift his head and pierce Theo with his intense blue eyes again. "I would like to challenge Ryan Crowley and Avia once more."
"What?" It took all of Theo's willpower not to let go of Zenith. Had he misheard?
"It may be...presumptuous. But I wish...to see it for myself." Though Zenith's voice wavered a little, his gaze remained steady. "If we can become stronger like this. That is...my will."
A crease furrowed his brow; his throat convulsed. He must have put all of his courage into stating those simple words, words he might've never said to anyone before. Theo needed to answer with just as much courage.
"All right," he said. "We'll do it. By your will."
"Thank you, Theo." Zenith lowered his head in the graceful suggestion of a bow.
Maybe just a little earlier, Theo would have tried to make Zenith lift his head. Now he lowered his own head, pressing his brow to Zenith's knuckles. "No," he murmured. "Thank you."
'For being so brave. For finally telling me your true feelings. For trusting in me.' It wasn't even the beginning of everything he needed to thank Zenith for. But rather than words, he'd show his gratitude through his actions.
Agreeing to fight Ryan again was just the first step. This time, he wasn't doing it out of a petty whim. This time – maybe for the first time ever – he had made the decision together with Zenith. And now, they were both fighting for the same reason.