Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state. Then nearly 14 billion years ago, Dio took a shit. Wait, this isn't The Big Bang Theory. Plus, I've never watched The Big Bang Theory! And why the fuck is Dio taking a shit?! Is this how the universe was created?! Eh, I guess god's have to poop too. Anyways, on with the show!
At the dawn of Japan, there were many evil spirits roaming the countryside. However, the country had a savior. And who would that savior be? You're about to find out ;)
As a child, Hisashi Shinjuku was often bullied and ostricized for his practices of what seemed to be "magic". Nonetheless, he had the most righteous heart in Japan, always willing to do the right thing. The only person that cared about him was his mother Ochako, and his childhood sweetheart Tomoko. Hisashi and Tomoko were madly in love, and when they were in their 20's, they married and had a daughter named Miki (props to my Netflix watchers if you get the reference. Hint: just like this story, the main character of the show's name is Akira), and they lived happily for a few years, until the paranormal started seeping into the world from Hell. Hisashi would soon encounter a mysterious blue monkey in the woods while on his nightly stroll. "What an interesting looking primate." He walked over to the blue monkey. "Thanks, I groomed myself this morning." The blue monkey spoke. Hisashi was about to scream in fear when the blue monkey stopped him. "Zip it!" He said to Hisashi in a quick manner. Hisashi then asked. "How are you able to speak, friend?" The blue monkey replied "I'm kind of a God. not THE God, his name is Dio, but a God. Name's Raharu." Hisashi then said "It's an honor, but how come I've never heard of you?" Raharu then spoke." Because we Gods like to fuck with you humans :D" Hisashi let out an amused chuckle. "So, you got a name, kid?" Raharu asked Hisashi. "Shinjuku. Hisashi Shinjuku." Hisashi smiled warmly. "Nice to meet you, Shinjuku." Raharu said to him. "Likewise, Raharu-san." Hisashi said back. "Well, I guess I should tell you why I'm here. I've watched you since you were a child. How the kids and adults, save your mother and childhood sweetheart, ostricized you for using 'magic'. Well, it's not magic. It's a godly power called a Rock Move. Yours is called Footloose, and I created it. Let me teach you the ways of Footloose." Raharu said to Hisashi. Hisashi then said "I have no reason to refuse! I accept, Raharu-san!" Raharu smiled. "Groovy." Hisashi then repeated it. "Groovy. I like that word." The two smiled. Over the next 2 weeks, Hisashi would learn everything that Raharu knew about Footloose, like how to shoot fire (Ring Of Fire), run faster than the eye can follow (Run To The Hills), and shoot pure Footloose out of his fingertips (Sex Pistols). Eventually, Hisashi became a master Footloose user, and began fighting those dark creatures I mentioned earlier, kicking ass and taking names, and saving lives all while doing it. However, the people still had a negative opinion of him, save for his wife, daughter, and mother. They thought that he was one of them, and was only killing other demons to gain the trust of the people. Hisashi, however, could give two shits about the people's opinion about him. He just wanted to rid the world of monsters for the good of the world.
Soon, Hisashi would meet a powerful demon, a shadowy figure made of pure darkness. "State your name, demon!" He said as the two fought. However, the demon overpowered him. "My name..." He then stabbed Hisashi with a sword of darkness. "Is Vicious." Vicious pulled the sword out. Hisashi collapsed to the ground, bleeding out. "T-tomako, M-miki, M-mother...I'm so sorry..." He said as his vision started to fade to black. But something began to....happen to Hisashi. The darkness from the sword began to get absorbed into Hisashi, until slowly, he began to change....
Vicious was on a rampage throughout the entirity of Japan, with his army. "Go forward, my Black Parade! Kill them all!" He shouted. Suddenly, he heard demonic laughing coming from the sky, and then something strange happened. When Vicious began his attack on Japan, it was noon, but all of a sudden, the sky was pitch black. "Here standeth the Living Dark! Saving mine own world for a better tomorrow!" The darkness shouted as it all focused on one figure, made entirely of shadows. It was tall, dark, had long claws for fingers, had sharp pointy teeth, and glowing white eyes. "Who the hell are you?!" Vicious shouted. He charged at the figure, swinging. However, the blade went through him...and didn't harm him. The creature grinned and impaled Vicious with his claws. "I am....The Living Dark. I am...The Angel of Armaggeddon...I....am.....Hellboy." Hellboy spoke as he decapitated Vicious. He then began to absorb the Black Parade, until nothing of them were left. The people came out of hiding, as they witnessed the fight. They all spoke among themselves. Hellboy noticed them and spoke."Greetings. In life, you knew me as Hisashi Shinjuku. But now, I am re-christened as Hellboy, The Living Dark. I will protect you all from the things that go bump in the night. Farewell, for now...." He laughed again and disappeared.
"And that's the story of my ancestor Hellboy. His descendants inherited his heroic spirit. He went down swinging in history as the greatest champion of the people." Akira spoke happily. Amanda looked confused. "What happened to Hellboy?" She asked. "Well, Mandy, he passed away of old age. Simple as that!" He smiled. "Interesting. Very good legend, Aki." She said to him. "Thanks!" The two smiled and shared a kiss.
(Thanks for reading this chapter, guys! Have a good one! And remember, some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill 😎)