||K a t h r y n||
Flashback||
-Twenty-two years earlier-
-Age Six-
-Trigger Warning: Abuse-
I sat on the stairs, waiting for Mama to come read me a bedtime story like she always did.
I waited ten minutes before the yelling started. But Papa was always drunk, so him yelling was normal. But I hear Mama too, and it sounds like something is wrong. So I stand up and I walk to Papa's study.
I open the door just wide enough to see what's happening. Papa is standing in front of Mama, yelling at her, Mama is angry about something. Mama's never angry.
"Как ты мог, Арсений! Как ты мог так поступить со мной? После всего, через что мы прошли? После всего, что я для тебя сделал ?! Дети, которых я тебе дал? (How could you, Arseny? How could you do that to me? After everything we've been through? After everything I've done for you?! The children I gave you?)" I flinch as Papa's fist makes contact with Mama's face. Mama falls to the floor and Papa kicks her.
I run upstairs to my bedroom before I can see anything more. I climb into my bed and pull the covers over my head.
I lay with my eyes open, but I can't get the image out of my head. It's everywhere. How could Papa? Minutes pass and my bedroom door opens. I flinch, thinking it's Papa, that he knows what I saw and has come to punish me.
But then Mama's soft voice calls out "Kit-Cat? Ты проснулся мой сладкий? (Kit-Cat? Are you awake my sweet?)" I pull the blanket off me and look up at Mama. Her cheek is swollen slightly from where Papa hit her.
"Мама? это что? (Mama? What's that?)" She flinches, her hand touching it. "Ничего, моя любовь, я поранил себя, убирая. (nothing my love, i hurt myself while cleaning.)"
I nod. White hot anger courses through me. I think of all the bruises Mama has had since I was old enough to notice. How many of them had he caused? How many of them were really accidents. How long had he been laying his hands on my Mama?
I leaned up and kissed Mama's cheek softly. "мама, люблю тебя. Доброй ночи. (I love you, Mama. Goodnight.) I lay back down and pull the covers over me, closing my eyes and trying to forget what I had seen only moments before.
Flashback End||
-Warning End-
Kitty closes her eyes as the memory ends. She fights to hold back tears, breathing deeply. She watches as her siblings laugh and tease each other, talking about how everything has been lately and how they're doing.
She leans against a statue, pulling her coat tighter over her body, more for comfort than for warmth. Although Russia is always cold. Alexei and Antonina Novaek were the most important thing in the world to Kitty.
Their safety and happiness was her first priority. Alexei was just shy of seventeen but he was taller than Kitty. He was a lanky kid with dark hair and electric blue eyes. He didn't speak much except to his sisters and his hands were permanently stained with paint from nights spent in front of a canvas.
Antonina was a stark contrast to her siblings, with golden blonde hair and cool grey eyes, she was the more outgoing one. Bubbly and energetic, she knew exactly how to get what she wanted.
Her siblings stood and walked over to her. "We're ready to go" Nina said. Kitty nodded, ruffling her fifteen-year-old sister's hair.
She kisses Alexei's forehead "go to the car. I'll be there in a moment" they nodded and left. Kitty brushed her hair from her face and walked forward.
She dusts the gravestone off, kneeling before it, and traces the writing with her fingers.
Aleksandra Novaek
Lyubyashchaya mama i predannaya zhena
Pesnya zakanchivayetsya, no melodiya prodolzhayetsya.
1896-1938
(Loving Mother and devoted Wife.
The song has died but the melody lives on)
"Mama" Kitty whispers. She grips the gravestone as the memories of her Mother's death push it's way into her mind. Fourteen years ago, today. "Я скучаю по тебе, мама. Каждый день. Они сказали, что это перестанет причинять боль, но это не так. Все еще болит. Как в тот день. Прости, мама. Мне очень жаль. Я защищаю их, как я и обещал"
(I miss you, Mama. Everyday. They said it would stop hurting but it hasn't. It still hurts. Just like that day. I'm sorry Mama. I'm so sorry. I'm protecting them, just like I promised)
She folds her shaking hands onto her lap. Tears stream down her face but she manages a smile. "Я бы хотел, чтобы ты видел, как они выросли, мама. Ты бы так гордился ими. Как и я. Картины Алексея прекрасны, и Нина, о Нина, замечательная танцовщица, мама. Как бы мне хотелось, чтобы ты был здесь. Я хотел бы, чтобы вы могли видеть."
(I wish you could see how they've grown, Mama. You'd be so proud of them. Just like I am. Alexei's paintings are beautiful and Nina, oh Nina is a wonderful dancer, Mama. I wish you were here. I wish you could see.)
Kitty wipes the tears from her face, standing up. She leans down to kiss the stone softly. "I love you, Mama. Always" she whispers.
With one last lingering glance, Kitty turns, shoving her hands in her pockets and walks off, her heart heavy with the burden she's carried for fourteen years.
_________