I stare at the screen hoping she'll call,
Believing she actually misses me and is just busy,
Hours later, I swallow my hurt, and listen instead,
To how her day went, how she wanted more out of life,
How she wished things would be alright for her and hers,
I bottle down my hurt thinking about her wellbeing,
Forgot I hurt too, she poured out her rampaging feelings,
Maybe it's by design, or life, I'll never know,
Maybe it's what I wanted by asking to be involved in her life,
Maybe it's what happens when you're the man,
Months later, am staring at the text,
Telling me she wanted more, telling me she needed someone better,
Someone who wouldn't be monotonous,
Someone who actually understood her,
But I did, I swear I did, I just never could meet up,
That's what happens when life already threw you a curveball,
You understand perfectly, but can't act appropriately,
Should I blame it on amnesia or let it go,
Forget you hurt and move on with life
The sage said forgive and forget, but how do you forgive yourself for failing your love,
Someone you swore to stand by in thick and thin,
Someone you dreamt and savored about,
These questions need answers, getting them is the mount I can't climb,
I guess it's cool though, let's face the fact,
That all things being equal, we can't be equal,
And that's why the door remains locked,
Forever or not, even me the keyholder isn't sure,
But one thing's for sure, no one gets through this door, not anymore.