Captain Sirkan was once again awake late into the night, he hadn't slept in nearly a fortnight. On and off intense bouts of insomnia was common for him but this had been the longest he had ever experienced.
Looking out of his bedroom window, he could see the bright moonlight reflecting off the ocean and illuminating his bedroom. In his lap was his pistol, this pistol wasn't for any intruders though, it was for himself. Sirkan was contemplating suicide.
His mind raced with thoughts of women and children helplessly being dragged into the jet black abyss of the North Sea.
I'm a monster He thought to himself, consumed by guilt
The stars were on full display in the night sky as the clouds had retreated to the south, the wind was mild and it was eerily similar to the night that haunted Sirkan.
Sirkan closed his eyes and for a moment he was back onboard the HMS Dogger. A double decker frigate with torpedoes below the deck.
It was at the height of the Elven War and on that night Sirkan was captaining the Dogger. Cutting through the waves on patrol they spotted an enemy ship on the horizon, highlighted by the light of the full moon.
Oh no, not this night again Sirkan thought to himself.
It was as if he was having an out of body experience. He could see himself in the past at the helm of the ship with all his crew members around him. Present Sirkan was invisible to them and could not be heard, Sirkan's worst nightmare had come true, he got to relive this night all over again.
"Ship on the horizon! Ensigns are Elven!" Shouted the man in the crowsnest.
"No!" Shouted present Sirkan
"Elven ship eh. Prepare the torpedoes." Past Sirkan commanded
Present Sirkan violently marched up to his past self and pleaded with him
"It's not what you think."
His past self stood still and did not respond.
The Dogger grew ever closer to its prey, the warship's hostile presence went unnoticed by the Elven ship.
"Don't do it! You'll regret it!" Present Sirkan shouted
The Dogger inched ever closer to the opposing ship and eventually it was in firing range.
"Ensigns look Elven sir." The man in the crowsnest said again for confirmation to the captain.
Past Sirkan held his cutlass up high and shouted,
"Fire torpedoes!"
"No!" Present Sirkan shouted
Below the starboard bow the sound of a cannon could be heard and just below the wave line you could see a torpedo rapidly heading towards its target.
Present Sirkan nearly fell to his knees, he stomached and felt as if it was full of brick and he wanted to throw up.
The torpedo struck the underside of the starboard side of the opposing ship.
The fireball from the torpedo illuminated the area around them, as if the sun had risen.
The crew of the Dogger began to cheer and some even fired their muskets in the air to celebrate.
"You fools! You don't know what you've done!" Present Sirkan shouted at the top of his lungs, tears ran down his. He couldn't believe he was remembering this night so vividly.
The enemy ship was nearly torn in half by the fireball, the ship began to quickly take on water and capsize, the masts were charred to the point it collapsed forward onto the bow, crushing it to pieces and dragging it down along with many of the passengers.
The Dogger reached the scene just in the knick of time to witness the vessel forever plunge into the cold darkness never to reemerge.
Instantly the stench of burned flesh and wood overpowered the area, some of the men aboard the Dogger could no longer stomach the smell and threw up.
Looking over the edge one of the crew members saw the most horrifying sight he would ever see.
Floating in the water for as far as the eye could see was the burned, dismembered corpses of women, and children.
"These don't look like soldiers' captains!" The crewmember shouted
"What do you mean?" Past Sirkan interrogated
Present Sirkan just stared upon the scene motionless, unable to talk or move, stricken with trauma.
"Gods. Was this not a warship? What have we done?" Past Sirkan pondered
Before he knew it, Sirkan was back in his bedroom watching the sun begin to rise over the vast ocean, Sirkan eyes still watering held the gun to his head.
He slowly turned over to a newspaper detailing the events of that night. He saw a drawing of the ship he had sunk, and over it was the headline.
"Elven army retreats, leaving civilians to die."
Sirkan just closed his eyes, and then pulled the trigger.