I quietly close the front door then look around. The silence of the house pierces through the darkness.
Damn, I didn't think I'd stay that long. I move to the table next to the door when I see a note. Picking it up, I furrow my eyebrows.
Fed the kids and put them to bed, you owe me.
~ Jonna
I smile softly at the note then sigh. Ugh, what would I do without her? Putting the note back, I decide to hang out with her one of these weekends. We have a lot to talk about. I begin head to my room when I hear something coming from the kitchen.
"Mom?" I hold onto the frame of the archway into the kitchen. She sniffles then turns to me with a sad smile.
"Oh, Nevaeh. Where have you been," She glances at the wall clock, taking that chance to wipe away the tears I already noticed.
"It's late, don't you have school tomorrow?" I move farther into the kitchen with a sad expression match hers.
"Mom, why are you crying?" I shouldn't have asked, I knew why, it always happened around the same time. I never like it, I don't how she acts.. She already does too much. She sniffles some more, taking a seat on a bar stool. I follow suit, sitting opposite from her. She shakes her head.
"Oh, I was just watching this really sad commercial about homeless dogs." I smile softly at the excuse my mother uses every time I caught her. I sigh, reaching over to rub her knuckles.
"Do you need an ear or a shoulder?" She glances down at our hands as her eyes glaze over.
"You remember when Sammy was born?" I furrow my eyebrows then nod. I think I was about four or five so vaguely.
"As soon as he was in his arms he instantly thought of naming the little baby after an alcoholic beverage." She shakes her head, laughing sadly.
"That man and his humor." She bites her lip as tears begin to spill out. A minute passes between us while I hold my breath the whole time.
"It's been almost eight years, Nevaeh." I move around the island to sit next to her as she hugs my frame. My frown deepens but I refuse to cry, I'm not the girl I use the be. I rub her back as she cries into my shirt. The hollow pain of seeing how broke she is wraps around my lungs and squeezes. I close my eyes, thinking back on the same feeling I had four years ago.
Tears. Denial. Pain. Pity. Fault. I'm so stupid. I blink back tears. So fucking stupid.
"Nev." My eyes snap open. I want to punch the person who dared to call me that vile name but then I remember where I am.. And who I'm with. I hug her tightly.
"I'm so sorry, Momma." She releases a sigh.
"It's okay, It's not your fault, nothing is." I bite my lip at that. Now she's rubbing my back.
"I should've been around more, if I was here he would have never—" I shake my head, moving back to look her in the eyes.
"No. You did what you needed to support us." She wipes the tears under my eyes with a soft smile.
"But Momma, you don't need to work must now." She frowns, rubbing the pad of her thumb across my cheekbone.
"We're okay now." She sighs as sorrow fills her eyes.
"Nevy."
"Take some time off you, always overwork yourself." She glances over my face before dropping her hand.
"Nevaeh, I know you're the one putting money into our bank account." I avert my eyes while she takes hold of my hands.
"Please don't tell me you're doing bad things to attain it." I shake my head softly.
"No, Momma." She lifts my chin, capturing my gaze.
"Nevaeh." I bite my lip.
"Why are you still working so much Mom?" She looks to the clock on the wall then sniffles as she wipes her face.
"It's easier for me so I don't have to think about everything." I nod, understanding her feelings. Things like the fight club, school, the kids, drinking and partying are good numbing agents... Though you can only be numb for so long. I hug her and she kisses my forehead and temple.
"Okay, I think I'll go to bed now." She nods, smoothing down my hair.
"I will too, honey." We give each other one last glance before we leave the kitchen and go to our rooms.
Once I'm locked in the empty and darkness of my room I feel them.
All over, everywhere. Touching, marking, damaging, toying with me. I drop to the floor, tears and pleads getting me nowhere. Stop. I want it to stop. I hold myself as the memories flood my mind, the clips of film ever so vibrant and clear. I don't want to, don't touch me! Why! I'll be a good girl. Please, I love you...
⚀ ⚀ ⚀ ⚀
I pet down my already, flat ironed hair as I walk through the front entrance of the bar. Thankfully, touching up the roots before hand. I instantly spot Adriano who currently seems busy with a customer.
My body freezes as I stare at his stoney expression. Suddenly my lungs fill with water and eyes dry by the air.
I-I shouldn't be here... he's working a-and I can't keep using him like this. I turn with shaken steps and head in the direction of the dance floor not wanting to face the reality of going home, trapped in my room alone... with him.
I bite my lip, shaking the thoughts away as my body locks up for a split second, causing it to collide with another.
My eyes widen when I realize how in control I'm not with myself. I frown, glancing up at the stranger.
"So sorry, sir." I freeze when he doesn't respond but just silently stares as if he's analyzing me. It was then I noticed his hand ever so slightly wrapped around my fore arm. Probably there to steady me when I bumped into him.
"Um, no, you're fine. I wasn't paying attention either.. sorry." My gaze falls back to his as he continues to examine me. My frown deepens into a small scowl.
"Aren't you a little too young to be here." His hand slides easily from my arm as I furrow my eyebrows.
"I'm perfectly allowed to be anywhere at anytime regardless of my age." I snap back, not liking the man talk to me as if he's my father. I don't care if he is old enough to be mine...
He's not.
He chuckles lightly, changing the whole mood as his arms rise in a surrendering way.
"Hey, I mean no harm." He smiles easily, showing commercially white teeth. My sour attitude slowly begins to fade, his charm lightening my mood.
Oddly enough, the fact that he's much older doesn't bother me like it typically does.
"Well, then," I smile softly, tucking my hair behind my ear.
"I guess I'll retract the claws." His smile widens, causing a dimple and eye crinkles to appear on his ruggedly handsome face.
Then his eyes glance off to the side and for a split second his expression changes though my stupid eyes had to blink. By the time they opened his gaze was back on mine like he never looked away to begin with.
"Hey," his hand finds my arm brings my ear to his pink, slightly moist lips. I hold my breath as the alcoholic yet minty heat radiates off them, tingling my ear.
'You seemed a bit off earlier, want some temporary bliss?' My eyes widen at the request.
Oh, god, yes.
Once I recollect myself my lips begin to form the words my mind has subconsciously been wanting to say since the first laugh...
But I'm don't get to.
"Don't you dare touch her!" I'm pushed back as a body blocks me from the one opportunity that'll keep me sane tonight.
"You sick bastard, she's barely 18!" I blink a couple times at the fact that this voice isn't completely unfamiliar.
I furrow my eyebrows, staring at the back bordering me from the hot older stranger.
"What, so now you're a pedophile!" He continuously shouts at the guy as he stands silently. I frown then press my palm against the middle of his back. He stiffens, going utterly flat, mute.
"Adriano?" He doesn't move a muscle, refusing to meet my gaze or answer my call. My frown deepens for the second time tonight.
"What are you doing," nothing.
"This has nothing to do with you." Silence.
I glare at his broad shoulders then slam my, now, fisted palm into back.
"Will you stop and just get out—" his body moves so fast I don't catch it as his hands grip tightly onto my wrists.
"You're coming with me." Each word stings, mixing liquid acid with venom. His face contorted into vexation, yet undertones of despondency licking its wounds. The face disappears as quickly as he turned when he roughly drags me away with him.
My bones blended and mushed: mind, body, soul, numb, I let him.
His grip burns the skin on my wrist but I'm too shocked to protest as he takes me to the employee area of the bar. My feet trip over each other before I smack into his back as he comes to a stop.
My body trembles, not wanting to see his face again, that face again. I lower my head as his fingers leave my bruised skin. He turns to me causing my eyes to shut.
"Nev." Please don't hurt him.
"I'm sorry.."
"This is the last straw." My nails rip at the flesh of my palms while my ribs suffocate my over worked heart and lungs. I pounding in my ears and metallic taste in my mouth not enough to mask the sound of flesh beaten raw, bones splintering.
"No!" I scream when hands grip my shoulders.
"Nadia!" My eyes snap open and wide as they dart around the room. I don't calm down until I come face to face with the person holding me.
Adriano...
My body fails me, well over exhaustion, I see dots as my head spins. Then, next thing I know, blank darkness consumes me.