I sigh in relief after I wipe the sweat off my forehead. Putting the towel down, I take a drink of water from my bottle.
My throat comes back to life after being dehydrated for so long. Poor thing, I likes moisture sprouted out of my pores.
After nearly emptying the previously full bottle, I set it down on my dresser. My eyes instantly meet their reflection and I sigh again.
I'm so glad I had a fight scheduled, so much has happened recently and I desperately needed to let off some steam. I really needed this.
I grab the towel to wipe my face again then continue wiping down to my neck.
Maybe now I can forget about everything, lock them up again. I hate being so wimpy and weak. Crying and being sad all the time, it's just not me.
I smile softly, thankful that Jonna had knocked that sense into me. I'm actually kinda glad I broke down in front of her. Anyone else and it would've been bad.
Getting out of my head, I start changing out of these sweaty clothes. Ugh, sometimes I wish I didn't have to wear this outfit or that could've chose different material when I bought it.
Once I have everything, I slip on my shoes and head to my door. Pulling out my phone, I notice I have a missed call from the house phone.
I frown as I open the door. I hope everything's alright at ho—
Fuck.
I quickly jump back, holding my nose. What the fuck! Who the hell would just stand in front of a door like an idiot?! I swear to fucking God almighty ima beat this bitch—
My body goes limp as my brain shuts down. The pain in my nose long forgotten as another deeper, stronger pain spreads.
"Hey, Nevaeh, sorry about the nose."
I want to kick, I want to scream, I want to fight,
But most of all, I want to hide.
And I can't tell if it's from him or myself and all the things raging inside just waiting to erupt.
My heart is warm, it beats fast almost like a middle schooler about to give a love letter. Only the warmth burns holes into my soul while the beats pound bruises into my rug cage.
And..
I'm not in middle school and my love letter was returned with bloody sheets and broken memories...
I lower my head.
Added to the mountain of others.
I clench my fists.
"What are you doing here?" Why are you so close to me?
"I wanted to see you." My heart swells,
Way. Too. Big.
"I'm not stupid." So why did you make me feel that way?
"I never thought you were." I glare at the ground.
"Don't play me for a fool." All I ever did was love you.
"The only one who's a fool is me." His fingertips graze my arm, setting the flesh ablaze despite his cool hands.
My eyes snap to his... I'm so weak.
"Because when I broke you the only one I played was myself," His eyes, oh god those stupid fucking eyes! They strip me of everything, leaving a thin layer of vulnerability as he stares into me.
How is it that I can never hide? Why is it that his eyes need not to seek? I'm always in plain sight.
"And after all these years I still can't get over you," His touch meets my chin, almost causing me to close my eyes, relish in the feeling. Almost.
"Nevaeh." I clench my fists again, finally closing my eyes off from his.
"Don't."
"Don't you dare say it again." I've made my choice, he can't manipulate me anymore. So with pure determination, I open my eyes and glare into his 'cause,
this is different now, I am different now.
"Hunter."
I hate him.
Even with miles and hours between us, my heart won't behave. My bed doesn't help at all either with its warm sheets.
I hate this.
After all these years, why? Why am I still affected by him..
I clench my fists.
By that asshole. That lying, manipulative snake! And how dare he still look mind-numbing look. With those stupid waves and commercially white teeth.
I frown, hugging my knees to my chest.
Why am I even doing this, all he wants to do is use me again. Play me with his pretty words, brainwash me with his beautiful eyes and capture me with his delightful touches.
Hiding my face in my knees, I allow my nails to bite into the skin of my legs. Not caring about the damage I inflicted. For it was nothing compared to how damaged I must be if let him do it again.
And that's what scares me the most.