I watched As the girl was silently dragged away. Our eyes met and she threw me a crooked smile; an evil smile. Flinching, I turned away from her direction. Clearing my throat, I rose and took a seat in front of my 'meal'. I looked around the room.
Most of the people had resumed their activities - card games, and reruns of old sitcoms - but some continued to stare at me. Uncomfortable with the amount of attention i was receiving, I began to search for a way out; some solace to protect me from their unnerving peering.
As I scrambled to make my way out I bumped into a man. Rattled and anxious, I began to spew apology after apology - it was a force of habit. Violet eyes met mine. Wait....violet? I thought I must've imagined it because the purple was no longer there. Instead a handsome brown eyed man gazed back at me, smirking and assuring me that 'there was no need to apologize'. With one last glance, I apologized once more before leaving the dining hall for good.
I couldn't stay here that was for sure. I had been admitted by my guardians for simply existing; I would never know why they hated me so much. I collected myself with a sigh. The frequent pattern of walls and bars began to feel intrusive. I felt trapped; caged. Even my mind wasn't safe. I want to scream. I want to let everything out. I want to rip myself apart and just take everything out. All the bad thoughts, all the sad thoughts, all the sin.
No, I can't get caught up in how I feel. With a slight shake of my head, I resume walking. The long corridor seems to go on forever and I planned on finding out if that was true - that is until I was stopped by an orderly. He threw a lecherous stare at me and told me to return back to the dining hall. "Or", he said with a cynical smile, "You can come over here", he gestured to an empty room with peeling paint an overturned mattress, "and I can show you a good time." He licked his lips and continued to look down at me. "Which will it be?" He asked. With a grimace and no response, I turned on my heel and walked away swiftly. Sucking my teeth as I went, I remembered to slow down lest I bump into someone else.
In the dining hall I decided to join the table of people playing what seemed to be blackjack. Surrounding the table was a short, redheaded freckled woman nearing her fifties. A Hmong man by the name of Jo that refused to introduce himself and a tall African American man who offered me my first warm smile and a proper introduction. "My name is Tom. I'm sure you know Jo," he gestured to his left. "And this here is Betty" He gestured to his right. I presented myself with my name and age, feeling more comfortable with the three then I'd ever been. Tom dealt me in and Betty explained the rules of the game.
It wasn't the best way to spend an afternoon but it did take my mind off things. By the fourth round I was able to enjoy myself - at least enough to be sad when we were escorted out of the dining area and into our rooms. Tom had explained the routines and usual goings on in the building. He had told me enough to know that in thirty minute we would receive our showers. All I had to do was think about what to do until then.