Another tear fell as the reality of the situation hit me and I cursed myself for the umpteenth time. I never cried, not even when I was starved and left in the basement for days, not even when I was told of my worthlessness and spat on, not even when i was ridiculed as an orphan. I never cried especially not in front of people. I sighed, knowing that I was mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted and let myself fall face first onto the bed.
I jumped myself awake, having been startled by the still unfamiliar sound of the metal door to my cage scraping the ground. I pulled myself out of bed cursing whoever mistook me as a morning person mentally. Last night was terrible, as constant screams and cries resounded through my room.
I slowly rose from the ground to see the nurse from yesterday biting back a smile. She quickly composed herself and led me to what was referred to as the dining hall after I slipped her a small glare. All around me various 'patients' with orderlies in tow, ate their dishes. Some conversed casually while others sat in a trance, transfixed on their food. A few had seemingly been sedated while others in straitjackets had to be fed. A nearby orderly led me to a near empty table and set a plate consisting of eggs that were formerly powder, a soggy piece of toast and gruel in front of me. I continued to stare at my food a while longer before grimacing, it looked disgusting. Sure, I've always been a picky eater but this was ridiculous. I continued my staring contest with the food and a small smile began to tug at my lips as I thought of what my dad would say, "Eat with your mouth not your eyes." *Clink Clink Clink* all of my silverware and the cup withholding my murky 'water' began to move as an elderly man repeatedly slammed his head on the table, uttering gibberish. I winced internally at the sight of him, a broken man with little to no hope that I could've potentially saved. My heart reached out to him and wanted to help him badly but I tore my gaze from him as orderlies took to sedation and began to observe everyone else on the premises. There had to be at least 150 people all with various issues in the room. I sighed knowing I didn't and wouldn't ever belong here. As I continued to survey the room I noticed a door. It wasn't a commonly used entrance or exit due to the lack of attention it was paid but it was significant, like everything that kept me out of my cell.
I smiled to myself smugly and calculated my options but I was stopped short and began to glance up slowly pulling my gaze from my escape, with the feeling of being watched. I craned my head to the left and saw a small skeletal girl no older than 8 peering at me curiously. My stomach did backflips at the sight of her head which held stitches from what was no doubt a trephination attempt. Please don't let me receive the same fate I begged mentally. The little girl continued to stare and I decided to make a friend. I left my food and sat next to her but she didn't make a move she just kept staring at the wall seemingly dead. I poked her shoulder, once, twice, thrice and upon the umpteenth time I gave up. Sighing I turned to leave but halfway through my exit she hugged me, hugged me! I was taken completely by surprise and returned the gesture, but as my gaze met her lifeless eyes I realized, she wasn't hugging me she was squeezing me! All of my insides were squished and I felt suffocated. I tried to pry her bony arms off of me but it was no use, she wouldn't let go. Orderlies I thought hearing heavy shoes crunch behind my head. I attempted to pry her again, with an orderlies help, and it worked. As the girl was sedated I surveyed myself to see what wounds I had received. I had lots of scratches on my exposed arms and even a bite mark but other than that I was okay.