It was just as boring as before to walk through the Dungeon. Occasionally, a Skeleton would pop up, and Saibaku would slay it with his Healing. I was grateful he hadn't used it on me for longer, or I'd be in double hell[1].
What made it more boring though was that there were people with me. I'd definately thought,
'Ugh, Humans' at least once, even when I was Human too. I thought it now.
It was worse because they didn't talk to me, which meant they were literally there just to tease me.
Dungeon: Here, have some Human friends, but they won't do anything.
Me: Just give me more Skeletons then. At least they stare.
They don't even have eyes, and they were already better than Saibaku and Sasaya. I sighed as we went down another empty hall.
There was more moss in this one, yay! Oh, next hall. Damn, this one has two Skeletons! Jackpot! And...another empty hall, isn't this amazing?
Finally, after ages of rocky walls and rotting plants, we returned to the room we started in. I think we'd walked long enough to almost make me sore. I'm pretty sure that was impossible for a Lich.
Senshi and Boien were already back, heads down, but expressions still as deadly serious as before. They must've been used to this then. I wasn't.
I absolutely hated doing nothing.
I debated just taking them to the Boss Room. Good idea for me: nope! Better than nothing: yuppers! Boredom had gotten the best of rational decision making.
„Hey guys, I think I actually saw a difference in the moss a while back." That was not a sentence anyone should get excited over, but their faces got so damned bright I had to blink back tears.
„Lead the way." Declared Senshi, her Party nodding along enthusiastically. I led, and led, and led...until I found the disturbed lichen. At which, I grinned and marched away to the beat of my own drumming heart.
Ah yes, the iron door, my old friend. I wish I could close you, but that would be too much iron-y for one day.
Senshi must've been too happy to be not wandering endlessly, to think a blasted iron door suspicious, because she just followed me in like the rest.
There was nothing, nothing happened.
I groaned.
„Well, here we are, the Boss Room." Maybe there was a trigger or something. I prodded the nearby floor. I stood where I'd Spawned. I thought about not-boring things happening.
Yet again, nothing.
„Where's the Boss?" Asked Boien, obliviously. I almost laughed out loud.
'I don't know Boien, maybe it's STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! Nah, it's probably out for a walk. I heard it likes to chat with its Skeleton buddies on weekends.'
I was bored, and screaming mentally at the Party. They were so damn clueless. I needed to do something, so I first extracted the information I would need in the future.
„Just curious, what direction is the Fourth Floor door in?"
„The East." Replied Senshi, glancing about, determined. The Dungeon must've been in sync with me, or maybe it was because I'd hit the trigger on the wall, but it chose then to reveal it's wonderous, beautiful, strong, and...perfectly ordinary Floor Boss.
Some Magical lights sparkled, and I did my Magical Girl Transformation. My hood flipped down as horns grew from my skull. Dark circles appeared around my eyes, applying what I would call war-paint, not make-up, to my features. My ears and fangs lengthened just the slightest, and a handy-dandy Mage's robe attached itself to my shoulders.
Senshi gaped, Boien spluttered, Sasaya cried, and Saibaku stumbled. I laughed, because why not get into character a little? I could have fun in the afterlife. With how boring my life had been, I deserved some excitement.
The Party finally pulled themselves together and brandished their weapons. Senshi chanted a Buff onto her sword. Boien put forth an exquisite Shield. Sasaya mumbled to whatever creature she was Summoning, and Saibaku prepped a Party Buff.
Meanwhile, I realized I'd literally died this morning, and used Magic once in my...death. Because I wasn't sure about anything else, I called on my trusty Blue Fireball. I'm pretty sure the spitting flames and flowing robe made me look related to a certain Triangle Demon[2].
Senshi lunged forward, and I threw fire at her feet. Boien came in to block it with his Shield, and surprised me by hitting it back. My Runner instincts kicked in.
Just then, Sasaya finished her Summon, and out came a cute Bumbleblitz. It buzzed with Lightening and droned toward me. Senshi joined the Summon in a stinging attack which I could only dodge half of.
Boien surprised me again—he should totally pick Ninja as his Subclass—by bashing his Shield right into my thigh. How people could betray you so fast...
Luckily, my Lich body made it to where I was no longer allergic to pain. I kept on keeping on by swiping a Bumbleblitz out of my sight and dodging a pesky Sword Mage. At that Point, they all got faster. Saibaku had finished the Buff.
Feeling like a maniac, I thought of flames, nothing but fire. And my command was the Dungeon's granted wish.
Out of me spewed Blue Fireballs of every caliber, decorating the room with a much nicer color, and singeing away all that horrid lichen. I grinned when I remembered this particular Dungeon's Condition: no Aquatic Affinity indoors!
This joint was gettin' lit.
Burn baby, burn!
I calmed myself, so I wouldn't accidentally kill this perfectly innocent, and abundantly naive, Party. I think I stopped a bit too late. Haha, whoops!
At least I'd remembered to ask where the exit was.
[1] Double Hell is a Term mentioned in the Pilot of Hazbin Hotel. It refers to a Hellion(demon, or something dead) dying for a second time, and is where Hellions are speculated to go when they die again while inside Hell.
[2] Reference to Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls