"I want us to talk" she said with her eyes trained on my face, a towel draped over her shoulder after the morning jog. Her skin glistening a bit from sweat, I wasn't irrational to the whole talking matter, it just came as a surprise.
"okay, are you ready?" I don't know why I asked her but I did it anyway. Her eyes were shooting daggers at me. "what exactly?" I was now running my mouth asking questions. I always spoil things.
"Let's talk about this" she motioned with her hand between us, "what is this between us?" Ouch! I didn't mean to react to that, instantly I felt like it was doomsday, dark clouds hanging above my head.
I sauntered to the living room and she closely followed, I sat down and cupped my face between my knees. She patted my back. I didn't even know how to react, how to answer the question, is this friendship or was it more than just mere moments that counted? She squeezed my hand and removed them from my face, she had seen me break down, it was humiliating. I felt weak, tears burned inside.
She looked a bit serious as she rubbed her hand on her forehead, spoke in a deep low voice with intense earnestness. Every second, it grips me, something to remind me that my life has been saved by a miracle that was seated beside me, I now enjoy its miraculousness, I am overwhelmed
"Do you know how confusing this is, maybe we are together or maybe not, we are just mixed up, I know this is difficult for you but we have to say something isn't right. We have to fix it now." She was still looking at me quizzically. I struggled to find the words in my head and say the right thing. She was still searching my face, I had a small speech ready.
I cleared my throat and took her small hands in mine, looked deep into her wide eyes.
"I know this is hard for you too, I didn't plan this, I wanted to get out of my head with a little help from you, I'm grateful, I would want for nothing more or less than this." Getting these words delivered was a task but I did it anyway. Her smile was always bright and charming. She clasped our hands and laced them together, a sudden relief washed over me, that's settled.
I stood up and she hugged me, I don't think I answered all her questions but she seems to be OK with whatever I said, it wasn't going to be as tricky as I thought. I thought she'd be screaming on top of her lungs and make certain demands. I felt like a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulder.
"Let me hug you so tight, tight enough to know that you are mine and I will never let you go, you have me a sense of belonging, and with you is where I'd rather be" her chest was heaving and her words slow and sensual, her arms tightening around my shoulder blades, she sniffed on my shirt but that was the least of concerns, she loves me!
I was lost for words, I returned her hug and smelt her hair, breathing her in, her body fragrance was intoxicating and this moment was mapped in my brain. She and I fell in love in the most beautiful way. Started with a stare. Good thing about love at first sight was that you didn't have to look twice. Charlotte was my goldmine. I found the love for me. My mind went to my ex and I felt a stronger urge to keep Charlotte, my muffin safe.
**
Hot water cascade down my body and felt the tension leaving me, I smiled andet out a sigh, is like I had won stage one. A milestone objective. I came out feeling relieved and fresh as a daisy. Put on my signature black polo shirt and jeans, life's felt easier today than most days, she was still staring at me and you know her eyes hypnotized me, I wasn't a pro at this staring business, she won of course and confirmed it with a wink and smiled.
She pored me a cup of coffee, the aroma of pancakes wafted heavily in the air, she led me to her breakfast venue outside on the verandah. The sun was shining and so was her. Pancakes so good, who taught her how to make them in such perfection.
"I was made for this" I gestured the space between us, "I was made for loving you, just take my hand, I won't scar your young heart" I spoke clearly and slowly, looking into her eyes, she scooted closer and placed a kiss on my lips. I was almost closing my eyes because of the intensity of passions boiling inside me, she kissed my forehead and rubbed her palms on my face, tears falling and I kissed her tears, placed her on my chest and let her be carried away and let her take us high.
"I won't trade you for anything" It was short but precise, message she spoke was home and I nodded even though I knew she could not see.but could understand. I was convinced she was the one for me, have you loved someone so much that you were convinced that you were born to love them? She is my friend, scratch that, my best friend. She raised her head and looked at me with those deep brown hypnotizing eyes as she spoke, calculated words out of her mouth.
It was make up kiss after another, wea finally ate our breakfast stealing glances at one another.
"What?" Her question blasted me from whatever fantasy I was in. Apparently I had been ogling and smiling like a fool, yes I was a fool, stupid in love with this funny and charming human.
I couldn't explain. I played music instead.
Rotimi's In My Bead played and she wiggled on my lap begging me to dance the day away. A calming sensation covered me when danced, I relaxed and released the tension as we hugged. The message was too deep to ignore. Life is taking a turn, a good one and I love every second of it.