It's exactly one year since I landed my lazy eyes on her in the street. Probably I will never settle if I keep staring at every pretty face. But what do I know, I have been starved too much and all I wanted was a taste. I had tasted some and I wanted more, insatiable. This girl had made me melt into her like butter on toast.
Her pretty face reminds me of Sweet Caroline. Classically beautiful with black locks long hair, silky smooth skin, brown woman. My eyes were trained on her face the whole while she passed. I don't know if she noticed. I was caught by her spell, she wasn't aware. A mystery girl. She had a name I wasn't aware of yet, but her beauty had made me numb, I wasn't able to follow her, my legs felt wobbly and frail. Beads of sweat formed on my already hot forehead, I was enslaved, I was blind and I wasn't ready to see. She had this kind of tendency to lead me on. I didn't object.
She had made a memorable day more memorable to the lonely one, to be precise, that's me. That was the only image I had of her, just a mystery girl still in my head. That was a once in a lifetime experience, a girl that came and went away within a second but her impact to me was immense. I wrote this for her.
I am blur
I came in smoke and dusts
Speed of a devil on heat
I came like a snake on a hunt
I am the medicine you greatly desire
The crave deep in your bones
I can see it in your eyes
The only one with a bright smile, a smile that would have brought dead leaves back to the tree. She was devine. She was the girl I saw from afar. The girl that I hadn't set my eyes before in my life but I had felt some kind of closeness I hadn't thought of earlier. And in my head I had dreamt of a future with her.
Maybe my life is too poetic ro be true. I'm f*cked from head to toe. I had waited for a moment like this, a moment so vivid, she made my heart jump and my body shaking, this is a supernatural girl.
I want to write so much about her, but I only know what she did to me, not what she might do now in my sober self.
Life's funny sometimes. Reliving memories is relaxing. I never overlook anything coming my way but with this newfound and creeping interest in this girl, there must be a slight slip up. I was getting addicted. You know that feeling like butterflies in your stomach, like small explosives of happiness and confusion, that's how I felt when I see her. I am conflicted because all this is twisted. Twisted in a fun way.
She was now riding my thoughts like a horse, the sight of her made my legs weak and brain scattered, pleasure in my veins and an overwhelming smile, I had found my purpose in life, and I was just following my dream. I neither know that one day she will be my ruin nor do I care.
**
I was rocking on the chair outside watching the grandfather clock through the slightly open window. I don't understand why I was staring, like I was waiting for something to happen. My phone buzzed, I felt a sensation wash over my body and a hurricane of emotions was stirring up inside me. Relief and relaxation, yet confusing feelings bore into me, questions rushed in my head.
A simple text wishing me a merry Xmas.
I was about to doubt but I have no reason to. Muffin is mine, I have no reason to worry about anything anymore. I trust her with my feelings and my thoughts and my life.
"What if you stay the night, you won't regret it" she had once suggested and I terribly fell for her. "What kind of game you want to play, TOD?" I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be contaminated by her mind games, I had Val then. But now is all a story, I had fallen deep for muffin without noticing. No going back.
Twisted.
It was just a game anyway.
"Let's start with your name, I haven't quite got it right" I had struggled a great deal trying to compose a sentence in my head. She ghad smiled so widely I thought she wasn't okay, why was she so lively? Damn cute smiles plastering her face. Eyes glimmering with wait, she had cornered me and I freely gave in. I took her face in, it was beautiful.
This game of smiling and swatting at my arm was what we were doing for the better part of the night.
"Come sit beside me" I retorted patting on the pillow and she scurried to the floor, why was she so excited? Damn if I had magic I wasn't aware of, that was pulling her towards me in this fashion that I didn't know, I guess I'm falling sick. What was this unseen force that was making be glued to her like some stubborn sin?
Flashes of that fateful night came to me and I welcomed them with a satisfying smile. I wasn't feeling hurt any more, just falling into the Optimus black emptiness, a void only she can fill.
I rested my head on the couch after landing in it. In life we have to make choices, and maybe today, on this day, I will make up my mind and chase my dream, muffin is my dream and I wasn't okay chasing her every damn time because she keeps running away. Maybe I am the boy who chased his dreams too hard.
But she was worth the trouble, my heart melts when I think of her.
"Beautiful out there isn't it" a voice behind me said, I turned my head pulled out straight from my daydream. I smiled back and sat up. My favourite cousin, my best friend, she's all I have in my miserable life. Anna. She was the standard to everything I believe in. She is my gospel and my strong hand. My spirit guide.
"I was wondering when you'd show up, come here you" I said pulling her into a bear hug. She always hugs huggingly, haha, if that's a word.
"Still reminiscing about the better days, why not enjoy the present, and don't give me speeches today" This wicked soul trapped in my cousin, but I still got mad love for her. She is in campus studying Economics. A business lady. She operates her own gaming station and has a small Internet Cafe.
Short interesting talks with my best friend always light me up. The evening slid on well because she was here for me. I always loved that.
We went for an evening stroll just before sunset to refresh our heads, probably mine the most, I needed something else to think about and listen to this wonderful human woman's insights. Her line of thought was full of wits and wisdom. Bless her fiendish heart.
Night came crawling to bid the day farewell. A day well spent.