As early as I can remember I carved being the captain of a ship. Trapped in the middle of the ocean, in the middle of the night just navigating by the stars. And that would have been the best life on earth, leave people talking and telling stories of how they know you, trust me, this who say they know you really don't know you at all.
The biggest challenge of a sailor is Finding His Way Home. I once suffered consequences of misplaced loyalty but at least I became the kind of person who good things happen to. I had everything I wanted. A loving girlfriend, anyways life has a momentum and a mind of its own.
But I lost her and found another. Win-win.
Today I woke up feeling ecstatic after talking to muffin last night. We spoke volumes none of which I remember, I was intoxicated from numerous drinks. I was fading the feeling of sorrow and it worked with the help of my baby, Charlotte. My queen and the love of my life. Breakfast downstairs was wafting in cool rosemary scent, hot chocolate, coffee blows my mind in the morning. I inhaled mouthfuls, scratched my body vigorously, yawned and went down.
Aunt was screaming to one the kids to stop running lest he get burned in the kitchen.
"Look who woke up early, good morning smiley face" she greeted. "Pancakes, smokies, eggs and of course your orange juice" she was shoving things in my plate when my phone buzzed and my face lit up when I saw a 'morning handsome' text from muffin.
Another text chimed in.
'how about a big hug for you, you really rode my nerves with your twisted slurry voice' I smiled and aunt coughed or sneezed in a way to indicate that I put my phone down.
My phone buzzed to again.
And again.
And again.
I quickly looked at aunt who was now engaged in a wrestling match with a small cousin probably two years who had refused his milk. I opened the texts.
'I felt my body temperature rise but I wasn't sick' I chuckled, clearly this was unlike me, I couldn't remember a damn thing.
"boy better drink this, your mum is not around" the little boy wasn't having it, he shoved the bottle to the ground and slid under the dining table. Anna came to his rescue. The boy hugged her in return his face lit like a bulb. He was saying many incoherent gugu gagas pointing at aunt who was massaging her finger where she was bitten by the boy. He was accusing aunt apparently. Anna smiled at the boy and the sadness in his visage melted into a happy giggle when she tickled him. She always knows which button to press with different people. She was a natural healer.
"Good morning cousin" she greeted me pulling me out of my mini trance. I stood almost immediately when I spotted my uncle Raph, I call him G, he's always grumpy, because it rhymes not because he has a temper, besides he is charismatic with a broad face, always greeting people around the house. It was my cue, I slid out of the dining table with my plate stuffed and my phone in my hand. I tried as much as possible not to breathe in his direction, that guy can smell people. He is a curious man and one day I hope his curiosity kills him temporarily and then bring him back to life coughing his painful lungs with air.
I slipped behind him and mumbled a low "morning uncle" and noticed he still had no idea I was here, I walked past the grandfather clock on the opposite side of my uncle. I went through the back stairs to the room I was assigned by my aunt. It was now under my temporary care as per her direction. I pulled myself back to reading her texts, damn I had left her on read. I sent her WhatsApp message, a particularly long one, well a bit.
It read
'Truth is I would have nothing to lose
But I would lose everything if you didn't try me
For my heart already calls you mine
I have been feeling helpless from a distance
As I watched you
Wondering if you noticed I exist
For these feelings for you
Are a noose around my neck
Hanging on a a tree- LOVE
Have a great day ahead.
She wasn't online anymore. I felt optimistic yet a bit guilty for making her miss me, I knew I had come to clear my head of the toxins I have been thinking about, I had planned to stay here a few days before going back to my house. I will stick to this plan, I have no ill wills towards her, just a few days.
I don't want to keep spoiling the only chance she keeps giving me, saying it was the last and that I will change in return, truth is I'm a liar and that's nothing I can do about, but I give myself hope that one day she will see it in my eyes that we were made for each other by Mother Nature. That's love and there is nothing I can do about. She and I, me and she, me and her, we share a soul.
I want to love her but right now what we have is a huge crush. Love I what is in novels and poetry, it sounds nice but I'm not fully convinced she loves me the same. It's insecure I know but once again I have to have my own back first, that's how it works.
**
It was three in the afternoon and there was a surprising slow cool breeze with a mixture of warm currents of the sun. She had texted back. Maybe mine is a love in the movies, maybe I'm a hopeless romantic too. I know where my minds drifts to, but she by now knows that she's my number one girl.
I plan not to lie to her if anything with Val comes up, I will most likely tell her if she's mentioned anywhere. I will make sure she suffers for making my muffin feel jealous.
We will meet once I'm back in town. Now I need this atmosphere with family, my phone buzzed while sitting outside under big old tree sipping my orange juice I had picked on my way out.
*CHARLOTTE'S POV*
He was gone a long time and hadn't replied yet. I put my phone on 'do not disturb'and connected it to the speakers in the sitting room. Chewing would help with this anxiety, I reached for a bag of crisps and stuffed a handful in my mouth, chased it with vanilla yogurt.
I was in the kitchen to fry some real food after watching this fictional based love story, a love dictated by some silly love alarm. I love its story though, it shows the triumph of love.
After I was well fed, sank in the couch with my phone glued in my hands, I opened WhatsApp and got his text, my heart was beating rather fast, maybe he read those texts and thought I was stupid and decided to spit it to my face. I opened the message anyway, a particularly long one, well a bit.
It read
'Truth is I would have nothing to lose
But I would lose everything if you didn't try me
For my heart already calls you mine
I have been feeling helpless from a distance
As I watched you
Wondering if you noticed I exist
For these feelings for you
Are a noose around my neck
Hanging on a a tree- LOVE
Have a great day ahead.
It melted my heart,