Lost without you and I can't help myself, how does it feel that I love you already? I was asking myself while looking at Charlotte. I had blocked my head from outside thoughts that tried sneaking in and spoil my quality time with her.
Time was slowly gliding by, the night was still young. I had promised myself in the past week that I was now moved on, rather quickly? But it is what it is. I was going away from my muffin. Things we had been through keep us together. Charlotte was one weird girl because she never asked anything about 'her'. But it was none of her business. Just like that, I had lost Val. I don't know how or why I did what I did, but I won't feel bad and spoil whatever we had with Val, I need time to tell her what I want to do with her, a lifetime maybe.
Promises by Wiz Khalifa was playing and I felt a tinge of hurt tugging me down at my heart. I felt like I had betrayed her, did I? Why was this not hurting me? I wish I could feel pain. Probably I'm just a very weird hopeless romantic walking up and down loving people aimlessly. I don't understand how I feel about Charlotte, was it love towards a friend or was it something more than just love. Regardless, I spent this year alone and sometimes I feel like I missed out on the day everyone chose their friends. But I had every right to fall in and out of love without feeling bad of anyone's criticism.
I won't blame myself for losing Val in any case, plus I won't blame her for not showing any effort to fight for our love, sometimes life gives you a shitty hand from the get go. But look on the bright side, now I had Charlotte who was riding my feelings. This budding friendship was what I need at the moment. Bad vibes stay away.
***
She was dressed in black, dress reaching just below the knees, it was making it hard to breathe, her face glowed under the blue lights in the hallway. Her eyes were bigger today, she was happy, I could see her lips curve in the sexiest way and threw my mind in the gutter.
"Looking good" i said rather quickly and blinked. My heart skipped several beats at once. Damn this girl is something else, she is not making it easy for me to control myself.
She was shooting glares at me and smiling all while.
"So where are we going?" she asked as soon as she got into my old car, I l had left the jeep back at the apartment and thought Val would pick it but it was still there when I passed the apartments last week, she wasn't around still. Maybe I could've went inside and peeped.
" Some place I know, just sit tight okay?" I winked at her. I coughed the engine and the antichrist revved back to life. I pulled out of the driveway and slid away swiftly into the road. It was 6pm and a bit cold outside, I turned the heat up, shuffling through my Playlist and found the weeknd In your eyes. Music.
Once or twice she grabbed my hand that wasn't on the wheel and patted it, it sent shockwaves through my system. Next song was I Love You by Billie Eilish. I always love my music slow and sensual. It brought me memories of when I was happy, like now. A few minutes later we took a turn and followed a dirt road up a cabin. It was my uncle's though he never comes up here anymore. I wanted this to a total surprise to Val and sure enough it worked.
"Whoa, where are?" she was almost unbuckling her seat belt when I pulled up. I'm her dress still looking attractive but in the wrong occasion. But who cares as long as she was here with me. That's all that matters.
"I used to come up here with my cousins and uncle when we were young, wild and free. This is where we stay the night, an adventure maybe, hope you like it." she had dropped her jaw on the ground and needed help picking it up, eyes wider, this is something we don't see everyday. She looked tempting in that dress and in these woods. Damn where was my mind going?
"I love this place already and I haven't even got inside, it's so beautiful"
She stepped closer to the door and was curious to find out what was behind it. Meanwhile I turned the key and it opened easily. It creaked a bit but was functioning well without grease. Apparently the cabin wasn't as dusty as I expected.
Funny thing, I had planned to come up here a while ago, I had gone through all what we might need, including what Charlotte would wear. I wa planning staying here for a maximum of one week. I went back outside to unpack, carried the supplies to the kitchen counter. Arranging the canned foods in the fridge, and opened club soda and poured for both of us.
Charlotte was already upstairs making mini videos and selfies. I had her camera click.
"I'm up here", we had a lot to talk about, that's why I came here. I slid the door to the balcony open and found her sprawled on the rickety chair, I handed her her drink.
"I got everything including your clothes, I went shopping just before we came up here, and don't be mad I didn't tell you."
She swatted my arm and giggled, "should I be worried that maybe you got the wrong size of clothes?" She was joking too much.
She is what I wanted, she is the dream and I wasn't trying to wake up from it. Call me the fortunate fool, I lost one good thing and found a better one.
"Should you be?" I answered her question with another and she stood up, swung her left arm around my shoulder and took a selfie that I battled hard not to be captured in.
She was stuffing popcorn in her mouth when I got back from a wild stroll around the place. Nightfall was approaching, I walked straight into the kitchen, I poured myself a glass of water and swallowed it down in a few gulpfuls.
"What's for dinner?" She was sneaky, I didn't hear her footsteps approach me. I was a bit startled.
" Next time let some noise accompany your movements." I said rather harshly but smoothed her nerves and turned to face her, "Chips will be ready in a few, why not help me set the table for two?" She smiled and picked a bowl, placed the fried chicken and was out of the kitchen, I could hear plates clutter, was she mad?
"Are you okay?" I asked as I sat down, something in her eyes made me feel hurt, I saw sadness in those eyes, they were not as shiny, she set the plates opposite each other.
"Yeah, I'm terrific, just tired, you can't imagine how many miles I've walked inside this cabin." She was a perfect liar. She lied to protect me. But it was too late, I had already discovered she was sad.
We ate in silence, slowly.