Warning: This chapter has adult themes that may not be suitable for some readers. This is a story of fiction and does not encourage self harm.
The warmth I felt as I nezzeled closer to Saiya felt nostalgic and familiar.
I remember when I began to warm up to the green haired dressed in white lace. Leaders of the Haras were always women and I hated women... and the color green.
Before I was officially Shia's protector, I was kidnapped and sold off as a play slave. The ladies that bought me would brutalize my body and loved and cared for it everytime. The cycle was traumatizing and hurtful. When I would fight back, they would make sure my pain was greater everytime, and when they grew tired of me, they'd sell me off again.
Then I was sold to a noble's family. Amayans were prideful and would take vengence towards anyone who brought harm to family members. Except, I was labeled as a weakling and Amayans despised weaklings. I wasn't smart and I wasn't healthy enough to hold up a weapon. I was a weakling because of my fragile health even though my body was well built.
When they brought me to their mansion, I wondered what fate I would end up in, now that the Amayans no longer cared for me.
There was a little girl a few years older than me.
"Hello there little pup, I'm Celia."
Her voice was that of a sweet bell. Her hair was spring green and her eyes were caramel gold. I was beat every hour in the black market, but they would make sure my face wasn't injured. I for sure had thought that I had met death's end, that there was not one person who cared.
Celia would wake up every morning, excited and happy to see me laying next to her in bed.
She had been fond of all kinds of beast and was overjoyed when she first saw me.
"Puppy? Isn't the floor cold?" she asked me," Why don't you come here?" She held my hand and pulled me into her bed. It was bouncy and soft like clouds. She would hold me close and kiss my head every night. It was the most comforting warmth I had since being kidnapped. For me, she was my savior.
She pampered me with snacks and would dress me up.
"Wow! You're such a stunning young man!" Celia would say.
She took me everywhere in the mansion and everywhere outside. She was the only daughter of the Hara clan's sister head branch in the mansion, but not the only daughter of the Duke's. Because she was born from a mother of low status, the head family did not want her, despite her resembling the most to her father with her green hair.
She was a lonely girl and so I empathized with her. Because I too, was outcasted from my family.
For the longest time, her golden eyes and her smile captivated me. I don't know when my heart softened for her, but I could never say no to her or bare to see her hurt.
"Ahh!" Celia screamed. She had cut her hand from falling onto broken shards of ceramic glass. I was dressing myself up for the Blood Moon festival when I heard her scream. I ran to her shocked at the painful sight. As an Amayan, I could feel her pain. I put her hand up to my lips and licked and kissed her wound.
"Kyuro?" she wondered what I was doing and saw the flesh on her hand stitch back together as though there was never a cut.
"Thank you, Kyuro," she told me and patted my head with a smile," It has only been half a year since we met, but I'm thankful that you've been by my side Kyuro."
After Celia had left for a few days on a business trip with her father, her mother stationed her to never leave the mansion, so I suggested that we should have our own Blood Moon in the ball room.
"Celia, I have a gift for you. It isn't much, but I hope you'll like it," I had wounded the key beforehand and brought out the silver miniature globe to her.
"A musicbox! It's lovely! Thank you, Kyuro. I also have a gift," she cheered and hugged me. She brought out a small box and opened it. She placed the metal onto my finger and her finger.
"There, now we match!" Celia laughed. The bell struck the night.
"Then.. may I have this dance?" I asked her, placing my hand to my chest and she held her hand out and replied," Of course."
It was the first night for the both of us to drink wine.
"Kyuro?" she asked me. Her head rested on my chest as I walked to the bedroom.
"Hm?" I responded.
"Kyuro... promise me you'll always be with me forever," she whispered on the night of the Blood Moon. The Blood Moon was a lover's ceremonial festivity where one would find their potential mate or celebrate the night with their lover as a sign of commitment.
I was shocked in embarrassment and disbelief. Did she also feel the warmth I did whenever I was around her?
I asked her,"Celia? Do you- Do you lo-"
She tugged my collar to her level and wrapped her hot tongue around mine as we drowned ourselves in pleasure.
"Kyuro" I heard her giggle. I could feel an ominous churn in the pit of my stomache. Was this feeling mine or hers?
"Oh, did I wake you? I'm sorry, go back to sleep," she patted my head softly until I fell back asleep.
I thought we had grown closer.
But ever since that night.. Or the next morning when her mother told her she was to be the next head of the Haras...
She started to act very... different.
The once sweet and kind person I knew grew angry, impatient, and violent.
It started out with a few tantrums. And when we played in bed, she would usually nibble my ears teasingly, but now she would bite until I bled.
"Oh no, you're bleeding. I'm sorry," she whimpered. Her cries later grew into laughter and this drastic change had worried me.
She began to torment my body every chance she'd get. She knew I could never hurt her or do anything back. And even if the pain grew larger every night and day, I endured through it all because I knew... she was alone. Like me.
But one day, I grew jealous for when she would smile and speak to her fiance. They were fake smiles, but I hated it when her attention was focused on him. So when the stars shone, I grew just as aggressive as she was during the night.
And when I found her undressed next to him, I couldn't bare the pain I had held for months.
I would try to push her away, but every time I heard her voice or saw a glimpse of her, my heart couldn't help but beg me to go back to her and comfort her. Even if it meant if I were to be her comfort bag. Bottle of glass scattered onto the floor and blood peaked through my skin from every bite and cut. It became so normal, I'd always made sure she was bathed and safely tuck in bed every night.
But that morning became a nightmare I would never forget. The bottles were empty as usual, and she wore her favorite white dress that was stained by the red wine. I had stayed put as her comfort bag, but the bedside was empty.. She didn't hurt me as much as she usually did. She would cry and laugh, but this time she simply cried and grew weak into my arms, apologizing to me over and over and rolling her tongue against mine. Over and over.
I found her in the kitchen, her back to the sink and her eyes staring at the porcelain blue flowered tiles. It was foggy that morning and the cool dim rays of light revealed the darkness under her eyes.
"Kyuro.. there's something I've been meaning to tell you... In my-" she bit her lip and tears ran down her cheeks as she laid her hand upon her belly.
I grew eager, "Is it?!"
She shook her head and finally told me what had broken her. Her fiance had played with her without consent before they were betrothed. It was during the "business trip" she was on with her mother.
"Kyuro... I love you. But everytime I see your face and feel your touch, the guilt never washes away. I can't really be with you. And this marriage? It's a joke... They don't seriously accept me. They only want me for my appearance... because the Haras have always been the women of spring green. Kyuro, I would always wish every night for us to run away... but I know I can't.. but you can," she said as her lips quivered in fear and sadness.
"But you can come with me! And we can run together! The reason why I've never left is because I love you!" I cried out.
"Kyuro.. I'm sorry, I can't," she showed me her branded wrists. The brand was of the imperial court. She was branded as property of her fiance. Anger seeped through my tears as I held her. She broke out from my arms and picked up a shard and held it towards her self.
"NO!" I screamed out and blocked her abdomen with my arm.
"Leave Kyuro! They plan to burn me alive here... and if not here, they're willing to chase me to the ends of the world. Because... I went against my fiance..." she struggled, cried, and fought to leave my grip.
"No! If you don't want to live then neither do I!" I said.
"Don't be stupid! You can live! You can fight! I know you're actually strong but you let me hurt you!" she yelled at me," Be strong and live! Because I can't! I know you CAN because you suffered through all the times I inflicted pain on you!"
A hunter came into the kitchen and shot my shoulder. Celia slipped from me. My instincts controlled my body and killed the man. But by then Celia had pierced herself over and over as she screamed and cried.
"This is nothing compared to what I did to you.." She said as I held her in my arms.
I cried out and desperately tried to heal her wounds, but many hunters came and the mansion burned ablaze. I killed every single one of them. It was too late for her.
I carried her limp body out of the mansion.
It was warm just minutes ago and now... it's cold as ice.
I buried her under her favorite Alberin tree. Its wood was as charcoal black as my hair and its berries were a skyblue that shimmered gold as my eyes. That was why she loved the tree.
Since my face was unknown, it was rumored that Celia's slave had killed her and her fiance's guards. After I left the mansion, I retrained my body and fought hard to win victories and regain my title as King. This was when Saeo had found me, fallen sick in the woods during my escape. I owed him my life for he nursed me back to health and encouraged me to train and take back my seat as king, and repay him by serving him and others.
So when I met the face that resembled her with jade green eyes, I was shocked and brought back to the happy memories and the hellish ones.
"Are you.. really not Celia?" I asked the green haired lady in white.
"No, you're mistaken. I'm Renka," said the voice of a different bell. It was colder... but her face sparkled with the pure innocence that Celia had before she left me.
I could not stop thinking about her. I was drawn to Renka because of the uncanny resemblance. If the Haras had Renka, why did they push Celia to become heir?
And then I stumbled upon Renka in my room, who had fallen into the pond outside the school.
I was only going to give her a quick change of clothes, when I had witnessed Renka was-
He threw his wet clothes at my face and I blurted," I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"
After he calmed down I treated him to a bowl of Alberin pudding.
I felt ashamed and tried to apologize,"I promise I won't tell anyone you're-"
His anger grew louder,"Don't-"
"-flat chested," I finished. And he stabbed my arm with my fork.
I guess this made sense. The Haras were lacking female heirs that resembled their clan and mostly bared male offspring.
So, they chose Renka.
"Does your uh- guard, Exeme know?" I asked.
"No one knows, but my mother. But if word was to get out she- That's why you should keep your mouth shut!" Renka slapped me.
"Ow- Hey, why do you keep hitting me? Don't you know who I am?" I grumbled.
"The King of Whatayan dogs. So what!" the brat blurted.
"Ah, is that right?" my patience was growing thinner. I always endured when Celia raised her hand, and his face being so similar to hers does make me reluctant to fight back like I would, but this mistreatment was annoying me.
"Then you must be Celia's bro-" Renka slapped my mouth shut.
"Ah?! You wanna fight?!" I growled.
"If you want to talk about this, then we should go somewhere more private!" Renka stomped away.
I followed him into his room. Regular scholars who attended this academy were able to live in the dormitories.
"Celia.. was my half sister. I didn't really grow up with her, but her death sped my inheritance and now I'm head in line to be matched with the bastard that killed her," Renka vented.
"That 'bastard', you mean her ex fiance?" I asked.
"That's right! And now that you know this secret, you should keep it that way unless you want your head on a platter," he lectured me," Now shoo! I'm done talking with you!"
"Wait! Let me help you!" I told him," If you marry me, who has a high status as you, you can shake off that bastard!" I claimed.
"W-what?! Are you... insane?" he told me.
"Well, the offer is out there. It's up to you if you take it," I said.