This was the time before I relived my second life.
I was Shia's guard for many years, but I also became Renka's betrothed. My proposal warded away the 'bastard'.
"I.. I can't believe you actually did it," Renka said," it was so sickening when he would touch me.. sniff me and stare at me disgustingly!" Renka threw a punch to the wall," Ow.."
Renka had come late in the night and banged on my door and begged me to marry him. The bastard had been pursuing Renka the past two months and he had had enough. He was frightened by the stalking and the violent encounters of the man in his bedroom. When I noticed the uproar, I would be able to save him midway, unfortunately, not from the start.
"It all ended. Just like that. Wow. Thank you, Kyuro!" his voice chimed in my ears.
"Uh-huh, yeah okay, let me sleep now," I mumbled groggily.
Renka hopped onto the bed and caught me off guard. "Really, thank you so much! Not only did this marriage thing got rid of that bastard, it got rid of the other bastards too!"
His smile resembled so much to Celia's.
Maybe it was the alcohol from the night before from when we celebrated his freedom, but his strength weakened as I held him closer into my embrace.
"Is this... really okay?" he asked me.
"Yeah, why not? You're my 'wife' now," I said.
"But I'm.. a guy.." he looked away embarrassed.
"And so am I. Do you not like guys? Or is it that you don't like me..?" I asked.
"I don't like men.. but I don't.. dislike you," he said shyly.
Wah. So cute. His face is like Celia's, but his own personality is cute in its own way.
From that day on, I was his 'savior'.
"So.. tell me.. what was it that you liked about my sister?" his question puzzled me.
"Are you curious?" I asked.
"Of course! Why else would I be asking? She's my sister and rival! You loved her before me and I'm your love now.. so I'm curious of what made you fall for her. And I'm jealous because she was your first love..." he said boldly.
I clapped my hands in amusement,"Amazing. I never thought you could be so honest with your feelings. You're always so shy and embarrassed about everything, sometimes angry-"
He chomped on my hand and glared at me.
I patted his head and proceeded to comfort him with my words,"Okay, okay. I'll tell you, but you don't have to be jealous. I'm not interested in women anymore. I had a traumatizing childhood with women when I was kidnapped."
"You were kidnapped! Why? How? Why didn't anyone come save you? You're from a prestigious family of Amayans!" Renka asked with his questions popping up for answers.
I closed my eyes and began,"One at a time. When I was little, even though I trained my body for battle, my health was not on the same league of the health of my body structure. My lungs were under developed when I was born. I had difficulty in breathing, but everyday I would beat my legs and arms against trees and boulders to maintain the strength of my body even if my lungs wanted to give out. And when my father found out, he disowned me. Saying a weakling should stay a weakling. Maybe it was out of fatherly love to pity me, but in the end they kicked me out from the family traditions and inheritance. So.. someone decided no one would care if I disappeared. I was put on the black market and was sold to many homes. I'm not sure why, but I was sent to noble women. My guess it was some sort of fetish for beastmen? Well, one day- This is a secret between you and me got it? If anyone finds out, you and I are dead."
He nodded and listened in silence.
"Well, I met your sister after they sold me to one of your step mothers. She lived alone in a mansion. It must have been owned by her mother, judging by all the portraits of members with caramel gold eyes. Her mother made it so she never was able to leave home and so I became her only playmate and friend. She was only a few years older and she was kind to me unlike the many women who played with me for fun and pleasure. I hated women because of them, but she was different. She was quite young. Not a child, but not quite yet, a woman. I fell in love with her kindness and sweetness towards me. She loved me from the beginning, but it was because she had a soft spot for mutts. In the beginning, I thought it was because she was into the same fetish as those women."
"So that's how you met her... and that's how you fell in love. So...cliche-"
I threw a pillow at him." Hey! You made me bite my lip!" he said as he rubbed his jaw,"Then you were that 'slave' that k-k-killed her and her ex-fiance's guards?" he struggled to blurt out the "k" word.
I sighed,"I killed the men hired to kill Celia, but Celia... killed herself."
"W-what?! How? Why?" his jaw dropped at the reality of the situation.
"She was... violated by the bastard and felt guilty of bearing his child when she loved me. And.. she was branded as his own for compensation of damaging his reputation at a party. Even though the Hara's were matriarchal, they didn't flinch an inch to help her because her appearance wasn't of a pure blood."
"I see.. and so that's why they chose me.. because of my appearance. So... you don't like women?" his puppy eyes glossed.
"No!" I grunted," I would never want a woman to ever kill herself for me. I already have enough nightmares as is."
"Hehe, alright then- Wha?! You're so... straight forward with your words. I feel sad that she had to go through that... and my other sisters have probably gone through the same. But... But! But you're not allowed to look at other men either!" he said as he waved his finger.
I just yawned and went back to sleep.
"Hey!" he yelped as I pulled him in for another ruckus in bed.
"Let me take a closer look at your wound," I chuckled.
After many years of being betrothed, we would soon be married, but I was stricken by an illness from the curse that the mage had put upon me after Shia was slain. Renka had begged Saeo to heal me and cure me, but Saeo replied," This I cannot do. It is the law abided not by my own."
"But you're a God! The God of creation! God of knowledge and curiosity! You should have the power to save him!" Renka was enraged by what seemed to be a lack of sympathy in his eyes.
"I care for Kyuro just as much as you do, but even within my power, the laws abiding the wheel of Fate cannot be changed, when set in stone," Saeo told him.
News of Saeo's death rang throughout the world. When I had come to, Renka had made me a bowl of hot shrooms and Ruvian roots soup. I remembered hazily he had placed a glowing light into my body.
"I'm glad you're awake now," Renka said.
"Where are we?" I asked him.
"We're heading to Amaya," he told me.
"Oh? Why is that?" I asked.
He continued to act cheerfully,"Your parents wanted you to visit them sometime remember? I thought that this would be the best time to visit them before.. you know."
"They won't care, Renka. I told you, they despise weaklings, this includes the sick," I sighed disappointedly.
"Then.. why don't we make it our honeymoon?" he asked.
"That.. actually sounds pretty nice," I told him.
And though, as weak as my body was, he caressed my cheeks with his soft hands and took his chance of dominance.
"What do you love about me? I mean, besides that I look like Celia... What is it that you love about me for me?" he asked me.
"What's this all about? Haven't I proved you just how much I love you?" I asked him.
"Ahem! I know you're good in bed, thank you. But that's not what I meant!" he said bashfully," and you know what I meant." He eyed me, impatiently waiting for my response excitedly.
I laughed and replied," It's your eyes. Your Jade green eyes and your shy and honest personality. It's quite amusing and cute."
"My eyes... I see... it's the only thing different about me than Celia besides that I don't have what a woman has," he said lost in thought.
"Yes, yes, we know, you're really proud of your lovemaker," I said with an empty look.
"At least act like you care!" he pouted.
"Haha, I'm just teasing. You're so cute," I told him and sucked on his cheek," Mmm yummy."
"Hey! You're gonna leave a mark!" he wailed.
I pushed him down and said," That's what I'm trying to do."
A week had passed, but flashes of my vague memory had been reassembled.
And I confronted him that morning.
"Renka... before we left on this honeymoon.. Weren't we in the ceremonial halls? For Saeo's wedding..? Didn't the new year just passed last week? I.. remember everything went pitch black... after Shia had died."
"You passed out and I carried you out of the halls," he said.
"Wait.. but before that.. why were you in Saeo's dressing room..?" I asked.
"Everyone had to bring gifts to the dressing room remember?" he said.
"No, no.. after Shia fell onto the floor.. I ran through the ceremonial halls to find you and Saeo, but I checked everywhere until I got to the dressing room. He was.. covered in blood, half dead. Why.. Did you?" I hesitated to finish my sentence.
" Why did I kill Saeo?" he said," to save you. He wouldn't save you no matter how much I cried and groveled before him. So, I heard, if you killed a God, you can steal their soul to obtain immortality. You know.. I wondered how long it would take you to remember."
"Why? Why did you do it..? You didn't have to kill him!" Sadness and anger soaked my tears.
"I HAD TO!" his risen voice startled me. He would argue with a loud voice or raise his voice in anger to pout or whine about complaints, but his voice was dark. His voice and facial expression was shaped beyond recognition. Stop. Why. Why do you look that way? So pained, disappointed, sad, and lonely? I could see purple entrails swirling across his skin.
"You.. you didn't! You committed a sin didn't you?! That's why you're cursed now," I cried. I didn't want to believe that he had done what many feared. Those who sin are automatically branded and cursed to die as their body self destructs.
"How could you do that?!" I yelled at him.
His eyes grew, a darker shade of green,"A God or not, atleast your alive now."