After I told Will to go for a quick detour, I entered the gorgeously huge building and was greeted by the receptionist at the front desk. The building was still crowded even tho it already almost clocks-out time.
I only nodded back as I already know my way around the building before I took an elevator to the top floor, where Dad's office located.
The grip on the paper cup holder in my hands tightened with another paper bag securely in my other hand. I bought two drinks and a fettuccine alfredo from the cafe where Rafiq works.
Intricate sculpture and architecture graced the main hall, adding the amusement as I gawked around.
It's different from what I remembered.
I gazed upon the scenery as I went up higher and higher, getting closer to the high sky above. The entities below got smaller and smaller, the world seems shrinking in the absence of awareness from the height.
The ding from the bell got me on my feet as I walked straight to his personal assistant. She was busy typing something on the computer.
"I'm sorry, is Mr. Starr here?" I asked politely with a smile.
Her eyes still glued to the screen as her fingers rapidly typing the keyboard. "I'm sorry, Mr. Chairman doesn't want to be interrupted at the..."
She trailed off as she saw my smiling face.
"Zac?! What are you doing here?" She startled, stopped typing completely.
I grinned sweetly. "Hi Susan, I miss you too."
She faked a laugh as I propped my elbows on her desk.
"Dad's here?"
"Yeah, he told me he had a headache."
"Can you...?" I jerked my head towards Dad's office.
Unhesitantly, she nodded. "Yeah, sure."
She reached for the transmitter and pressed some buttons.
"Sir, Mr. Starr is here to see you." She politely spoke to the transmitter.
Seconds after, a stern voice chimed in. "Tell him to come in."
"Thank you," I whispered to her as I placed the hot chocolate on her desk.
She took a sip and her eyes widened.
"Hot chocolate? I'm on a diet." She whined.
I pointed on the other drink, which was I had already taken a sip of. "This is strawberry tea, you wanna swap?"
She took the cup in my hand and replaced it with the hot chocolate.
"Thanks, I love you." She winked while giggled.
I rolled my eyes with a smile before I opened the door to Dad's office.
The scent of lavender promptly perforated my sense as I walked closer to his desk.
"Now, what are you doing here?" He didn't lift his eyes from the paperwork he's working on.
I shrugged even tho I knew that he wouldn't see me. "Just passing by."
I placed the takeout on his desk.
His eyes searched for mine in bewilderment. "What's this?"
"I know that you might have some fancy dinner somewhere else but I bought them anyway."
He opened the box to reveal his favorite type of pasta dish and then he chuckled to no one in particular. "Thanks, I'm starving."
He then took a bite of it and he remained still for a while.
"How does it taste?" I asked after some time.
He nodded profoundly. "This is not bad. Tho the depth of the complexity can be improved by adding some winter herbs and some acidity to balance out the creaminess from the sauce. It can use some more garlic and the cheese did not melt properly. Where did you buy this?"
My legs instinctively walked around Dad's office and my eyes were attracted to one of the couches.
"At a friend's cafe." I simply replied as I plopped myself on one of the love seats.
"Did you did something to the decor? I saw something's different." I leaned on my back.
"I did some renovation."
I only nodded silently. "You sleep here?" I said, gestured toward the couches.
He kept on having his dinner. "No, this building has an executive suite. I sleep there."
"How do I know you won't take some pretty employees and be a little naughty with them?" I wiggled my eyebrows.
"I'm a loyal husband, thank you very much."
Dad's a friend to me rather than just a father. I can talk freely with him, joke about him, and even make fun of him. He's even the first human that I came out to. All he did was laughed and supported me no matter how stupid or how crazy I might sound.
But...
There is something that I despise about being his son. Not that it was anything serious, it's just that... every time people heard my last name, I felt like I'm living underneath my father's shadow.
It's tormenting to know when people only became friends with you just because they want your money. It's disheartening to realize that I need to show some sort of proper manners in front of everyone just to keep the family's reputation. It's tiring to know that I have to go through life in such a way that I don't want to live in.
It was not his fault, neither was mine. Things are just... 'It is what it is,' I guess.
I clicked my tongue. "That's a correct answer."
"Well, sometimes I'm a little naughty." This time, he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Ewww, Dad! I'm calling Mom."
"I'm just joking, Zac!" He abruptly raised his hands in surrender.
"Are you afraid of her?" I narrowed my eyes but the smile never left my face.
"She once threw a Soju bottle right on my forehead because put too much salt on the food." His face was literally and utterly mortified.
"Damn gurl."
"You damn right!"
Once he finished, I slowly stood up. "I'll be off your hair then. Thanks for the time."
"Oh, Zac. There will be an opening ceremony at our new franchise. Do you want to, you know ...?" He trailed off while his eyes wide opened at me, waiting for me to guess it.
"Sing?"
"Yeah! I figured that it would be much easier to ask you instead of looking for someone to do me a favor. What do you say?"
"Yeah, of course." I agreed after thinking for a good ten second.
He sank into his seat in relief. "Great! I'll inform the school."
"U-um, can I... bring some friends?" I suggest hesitantly.
Not that I'm afraid of him, I assumed that it would be a burden for him by bringing uninvolved people into a professional and formal event.
"You wanna bring Ari?" He asked.
I hummed.
"Of course you can." His expression softened and I only nodded afterward.
"Goodnight Dad." I bowed to him.
"Get home safely."
**********
Time passed by in a flash as days went on. Minutes ticks to hours and hours turn to days.
It's been a few days after I gave Rafiq a ride.
Little by little, I felt like I was drifted towards him for any reason at all, and I can't do anything but to fall even deeper. I was blinded by the lights that surround him, the sunlight that fell underneath his feet, and the rays of scent that he carries.
From the first day that I met him in the office, I felt like I've seen him before. Somewhere, somewhen in the middle of the past.
Slowly, time will unveil its secrets. The hidden meaning for every interlaced event between faith. A deeper meaning of chance, a vaster future that lays covered.
I meet Rafiq a few times during the time in school and also over the weekend. I don't know if want to gain his trust or show him my sympathy but I gave him a ride every now and then.
Sometimes he declined because of his practice sessions and sometimes he just felt like walking.
It's the little things that he made when he's with me. Those little things that surprisingly made me laugh. The way he's blabbering nonsense and when he clumsily chocked over some mineral water. The way he's opening my heart to accept him, and I don't even realize it.
My eyes stared longingly onto the pages of the textbook, mind drifted to into an infinite depth of my own imagination. I must have mindlessly thinking about him as I saw his name doodled in my textbook. I felt this connection when I with him. It's like electrifying and soothing at the same time.
As soon as the bell rang, I quickly gather my stuff and slung my bag on my shoulder. I managed to get into my car after a few minutes of wriggling through the crowded hall.
But before I could leave the parking lot, my eyes caught a glimpse of a Rafiq, standing at the entrance of the building with a smaller figure rising beside him.
So, I drive near the curb and lowered the window.
"Are guys going somewhere?" I asked nonchalantly.
Ariel had her eyes widened. "What?! No, my dad had an extra lecture and I have to walk home and Rafiq here offered to walk with me."
She leaned closer towards Rafiq and he only smiles innocently whilst looking down at his companion.
I jerked my head. "Get in then."
Ari quickly got into the passengers' seat, giggling as she does so but my eyes trailed back at the towering figure that was still left standing
"Why are you still there?" I asked him.
He got startled by my question and quickly regained his composure by clearing his throat. "A-aren't you talking to Ariel?"
I squinted my eyes. "Yes, and also you. Now, get in."
He nodded and got into the car hesitantly like a shy puppy.
Once Rafiq was inside, Ariel abruptly shifted in her seat. "Are you busy?"
I continued to drive out of the school campus. "N-no, not exactly. Why?"
"How about we go to the mall? I heard there this hug sale that offers a crazy deal. Plus, it's Friday, please?" She clasped both of her hands, pleading with an annoying voice and continued with numerous amounts of 'please.'
Rafiq's eye met mine through the rearview mirror. "What about you Ry?"
He scratched the back of his neck. "U-uh I... Yeah, I don't have anything to do today."
As soon as she heard that, Ari screamed on top of her lungs with excitement, earning a few stares from other people who were walking by.
********
When we entered the mall, the first thing that my brain registered was the smell of the popcorn that was sold right in front of the entrance of the mall.
The mall was packed today considering that today's Friday. The mall had a huge skylight going from the entrance until the very end, allowing as much as sunlight through. There were banners and a lot of decorations. The place was huge and so high that you felt like you're in a new city inside of a building.
By the corner of my eyes, I eyed Rafiq and found out that he had his eyes everywhere. His jaw was agape as he gawked around like a child.
I gently nudged him in the shoulder. "First time being in a mall?"
His eyes still browsing around. "Not my first, but I rarely got into one."
"Well, come on then!" Ariel clung to his arms as she dragged Rafiq to a clothing store.
I raised my gaze and caught Rafiq was looking at me albeit being dragged by Ariel.
When our eyes locked, he mouthed something.
'Help!'
With his eyes filled with fear and his eyebrows furrowed.
I took a deep gust of air before sighing in exhaustion.
*********
Go shopping they say, it'll be fun they say.
"Does this look good?"
She came out from behind the curtains with a maroon cocktail dress, twirling around elegantly.
We settled down on one of the couches provided while waiting for Ari to tried on her new clothes. This is a fancy store as it has a private fitting room, fully equipped with a lot of mirrors from different angles.
"Yes, Ari." I simply answered.
She put her hands on her hips.
"You said that the last time." She exclaimed with a whiny voice.
I rubbed my temples using both of my hands. "I said that every time. For the love of God, can we go now?"
Rafiq, who was sitting next to me, sat up straight from his previous pose. "I think the color doesn't suit you, love."
"Finally, someone who can talk English!" Ari extended her arms towards him while her eyes mocking me.
He rubbed the tip of his chin. "Maybe something that has a little bit of a lighter color... shell pink, maybe?"
"That's a good one. Hold on!" Ari clicked her tongue before disappearing behind the curtains.
I rolled my eyes as I groaned in frustration. "Good grief!"
I plopped on the seat and sink in lazily.
My gaze fell on the reflecting mirror, wondering if I really saw what I'm seeing. A frozen soul, trapped in a temporary warmth. He looks sad and somewhat dead but he was not free from this world. But deep inside, I see something shining. Just a tiny hint of hope and a faint glint of faith, shining through the rough seams.
"Hey, Zac?" A low baritone voice interrupted my ambiguous dreams.
I only realized that I've been leaning on his arms, which outstretched on the back of the couches, because of the warmth that builds up behind my neck.
I didn't budge as I found the sensation was quite comforting and therapeutic.
I only hummed in compliance with my eyes staring at the mirrors.
"I was curious." He resumed.
"Here we go."
He chuckled shortly before continued. "What is the thing that you hated the most?"
Maybe that what's I hate the most, sharing my fragile truth. Those hidden secrets and the lights that are not meant to be seen.
I turned my head to have a better look in his eyes. "Why did you ask?"
"As I said, I was curious." He shrugged with his eyes crinkled, expressing friendliness and honesty.
I don't know what made my heart softened when I saw him smiling at me like that. Is it the dimple or the adorable innocent spirit I saw in him?
"Well then, I'm curious too. What is the thing you like the most?" I crossed my legs and that caused my shoulder to slightly touch his rib.
He hummed contently as he rubbed his chin. "A lot of things."
"Such as?" I turned my head to have a better look at him.
"Well, I like you." He casually shrugged.
I remained quiet for a moment as I register his words into my head.
I wonder if all of this was just in my head. This loud pounding of my heart, the tingling warmth in my chest, and the flickering light in my soul. I felt as if I was drifted in his eyes and I was just a ship in his mind, completely powerless against him.
If he's the truth untold that is too good to be true, I don't know if I was supposed to push him closer or pull him further.
I was afraid that if I trust him, maybe he'll forget me. But I was also afraid that if I'm mistakenly tearing down the fate of my life by pushing him away.
How could I know that if one day I wake up, feeling more?
How could I know that if one day I close my eye, feeling empty?
How could I know that if one day I look up, feeling free?
Most importantly, how could I know if I'm not making a mistake?
Before he drifts me to the shore.
Before the time decide it's time.
Before he found another soul to love.
He began to stuttered when he noticed that I was being quiet. "N-not in the way t-that you might think of. A-as a friend, I mean."
I stared deeply into those Caribbean-blue seas. "I hate lies. There's your answer."
"Was that the reason why you're so mean to everyone?"
"Yes."
"Did something happened in the past?"
"Why the questions?" I grumbled.
"I thought friends talk about each other's secrets."
"We're not friends! We're barely even associates. If I decide to change partner, which I can do at any point in time, then you'll be meaningless to me." I calmly stated with a tone that doesn't indicate anger nor emotions.
The air got quiet for a while. The loud chattering of the mall and the shuffling sound around us froze in time. The secrets that I kept must be hidden and he must not know about it.
But why I get the feeling that he has a bigger secret than mine?
Mysteries that lingers around him.
Questions that wrap around his past.
The beauty of the ashes from a burnt heart attracted the vague light of a curious mind.
Ari came back from behind the curtain with a new outfit, looking splendid. "What do you guys think?"
The shell pink dress really compliments her feature and her hair. The outfit really shows her personality. The sweet and witty girl that I know of.
"I think you look like a princess." Rafiq beamed.
Before he drifts me to the shore.
"Zac?" She turned to me. I nodded with a curl on the corner of my lip.
But alas, I'm afraid I had already reached the shore.
"You look stunning!"
********