I like you very much, but I don't want to force myself into you, and I am willing to wait.
I remember these words. These were what CEO Seo said in his letter too back then when we were in college. He disappeared without prior notice. I don't know what he'll do next.
"Honestly, what did you feel when he confessed his feelings to you?" Rina-sunbae asked me in the pantry. Working hours on a Monday, but we are talking and catching up about what happened to me and CEO Seo. We were standing at the corner of the room as we were afraid someone would overhear us talking.
"I don't know. The CEO is handsome, smart, and successful. I seem too arrogant to be even rejecting him, but I have a reason. You already know it, sunbae."
"Yes, yes," she agreed. "You are trying to find that little boy who you saved from drowning when you were young?"
I smiled at her, "Yes, you have a great memory."
She patted my head, "My dearest Suji is still so innocent trying to find her little friend."
Rina-sunbae's eyes widened in shock as if she saw a ghost. I turned to look in the direction where she saw the supposed ghost, and I was shocked as well. It was Kim Seungwoo, by the door, crossing his arms while staring at us.
"Ya, Kim Seungwoo!" I yelled, "Why are you eavesdropping on our conversation? Since when were you here?"
He just smirked and looked at his watch, "I think I was here for 5 minutes already. You were so busy chit-chatting that both you and Rina-sunbae didn't even notice me."
Rina-sunbae laughed nervously, "Did you hear our conversation?"
"Don't worry. You were so busy whispering to each other that I heard nothing but blah-blah sounds,"
I sighed in relief, "Thank God. Why were you here, though?"
"Me? I was looking for you since I have something to ask you, Miss Li,"
Rina-sunbae then stood up, "Okay! I'll get back to work now!" She walked towards the door and high-fived Seungwoo. She then looked at me and gave me a quirky wink.
Seungwoo then approached me and sat where Rina-sunbae was sitting earlier. Seungwoo sported his comma hairstyle, and he was wearing his usual necktie and suit. He was silent and just stared at me, positioning himself towards me at a forty-five-degree angle.
I broke away from his gaze and clasped my hands, "You are making me uncomfortable. Can you tell me what work we are going to discuss?"
He just smirked and looked at my clasped hands, "I guess, if someone as handsome as me staring at you, it's an obvious thing that you would be uncomfortable."
He guided my chair to face his direction and leaned in for a kiss. A peck, I suppose? They say that kissing someone makes your brain release chemical reactions like oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, dopamine, also known as the happy hormone that makes you giddy and euphoric. I felt both chemicals. I never knew I'd remember something this trivial, but it is a first for me.
I felt my eyes flutter as I closed them; he drew me closer to him by cupping my face, taking me by surprise, a piece of me, absolving a semblance of my innocence in the most beautiful and pure of ways. It's my first kiss, and I was able to let him take it away from me.
I tasted the flavor of the ocean. Freedom. I didn't know what to expect—I barely knew what he was doing and why he was doing it. Still, the moment felt so intensely natural and unknown at the same time that I was simultaneously very in tune with everything in the room, our movements, the air conditioner noise. I am utterly at a loss for what to do. I was honed in on his lips, on their gestures, on the ways they sucked and bit and pressed and parted, and the way he breathed against me, his chest coming in closer, his arms wrapping tighter. He felt brand new—like this boy I had grown to get attracted to had clicked the refresh button, and I was rediscovering every inch of him—hyper-aware of him and the air around us.
He stopped, pulled back, and looked at me. It took me a moment to open my eyes, and then I looked straight into him, into the face of a man who had, in some small way, become mine and his. I reveled, for but one second.
He stood up and guided me to sit on the table; our faces are now leveled since he was way taller than me. He gave me the sweetest smile he could give. "Don't look at other guys, just look at me."
And then, I don't know what made me do it but, I dove within.
Kissing was crazy weird initially, but it quickly became my favorite thing to do. I want to do this over and over again. Seungwoo put his left hand on my waist while kissing me, while his right hand was slowly unbuttoning my shirt. His kisses were gentle on my lips, but he was aggressively kissing my neck---the spot that tickles me the most. It made me moan softly.
He licked my collarbone, and I shuddered in pleasure. He looked at me in the eyes and said, "You are in a hot mess."
He preyed on my lips again, but he was kissing me torridly this time. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back the way he was kissing me. His right hand found its way on my breast, and I was shocked by the weird sensation he gave. He cupped them with my bra on, but later on, he found his way to my bare skin and touched everything.
"You are in a mess, Li Suji."
I noticed Seungwoo snapping his fingers as if he was snapping me back to reality.
What just happened?