Chereads / Adorkable - Neville Longbottom x Reader / Chapter 32 - It's Exactly What You Think

Chapter 32 - It's Exactly What You Think

○○○○Big TW for the entire chapter○○○○

Your POV

I've noticed that lately Neville seems to be a bit off, kind of like he was avoiding me. I tried to make plans with him for weeks but he was busy with his friends.  We stopped spending the night together, he stopped walking with me to class or sitting with me. I started becoming more and more anxious. I questioned my appearance my personality every little detailed, but it was so simple I should have seen it sooner. He didn't feel the same about me anymore.

"Looks like your relationship isn't going to well" Draco smirked.

"Shut up Malfoy" I sneered, but I knew he was right.

I made my way to Neville's dorm to talk to him about this, I prayed that this was all in my head and I was just being stupid. I opened the door as saw him making out with Hannah Abbott. It felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and slowly crushed by someone's foot. They both turned to me.

"Y/n-" I cut him off.

"What? Are you going to tell me this isn't what it looks like?" Was the only thing that I could say. Neville shook his head.

"No actually it is exactly what it looks like. You are great I guess but Hannah is perfect and I'm happier with her than I ever was. You understand right?" He said.

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Completely understandable" I blurted out, I needed to leave right now.

"I knew you would, that's why you're such a great friend" He said before I shut the door behind me and ran to my room. I cried my heart out, he was my everything but I meant nothing to him now.

This news spread like wild fire around the school. Ginny and Hermione asked if I was alright, I just put on my best acting skills and smiled as bright as a Hufflepuff getting a cruppy and told them that I was great and it was for the best.

After a month and a half I wasn't sleeping or eating properly. No one ever noticed since the only time they would see me was in class as I would spend all of my time in the girls lavatory with moaning Myrtle. I made it a habit of wearing clothes in bigger sizes so that if anything people would think I gained weight not lost it. Sometimes I would just feel numb, eventually it got to the point where my entire existence just seemed so pointless. And I know what everyone would say. They would tell me that all this over a boy is so stupid that I'm being dramatic or why am I still hung up on him. That's why I'm keeping my pain to myself, why I haven't tried to reach out for help.

After class McGonagall pulled me aside.

"Miss Y/l/n, I need to make you aware of your educational progression. You are in danger of failing every class you have, if you need a tutor I will be happy to assign you to one." She spoke. I shook my head.

"No thank you professor, I'll work harder to improve my grades" I told her and grabbed my things.

"Y/l/n, if there is anything else I can help with, anything at all I'm here" She added. I nod and walk out. I went to the girls lavatory and sat in the corner. Of course I was failing my classes on top of everything, but it's not like it wasn't my fault because it entirely was.

Moaning Myrtle hung over my head.

"As much as I wanted company you aren't the most entertaining person, with your sad demeanor" She said in her squeaky voice.

"You're one to talk" I said holding my hand out to use my powers on her, even though it would be pointless as she was a ghost. Nothing happened. I furrowed my eyebrows, looks like I was in worse condition than I first anticipated. I couldn't use my powers not even a measly blip of any of them. I pulled a razor out of my bag and began my attack on my skin. This was nothing new of course, I just wanted to feel something.

When I finished I washed off the blood and put it away then waited for my cuts to stop bleeding before I pulled my sleeves down. I hated myself more than I ever had. I had done a pretty good job with hiding all this, even Hermione didn't pick it up. I made my way to my next class which was charms. I past Neville and Hannah sucking each others faces. He would never do that with me, he hated PDA or... he just didn't want to do that with me.

Soon class commenced and we were learning another spell I wouldn't be able to perform. Surely enough I was right. I lent back in my chair as Professor Flitwick shook his head marking me down.

I looked up glancing at the uncomfortable scene that was Neville and Hannah giggling and leaning on each other stealing kisses every now and then. I felt like throwing up. Get over it you selfish brat, he doesn't care about you anymore. He's with someone that actually makes him happy. After class, I saw that he went to his room with Hannah so I decided to go to the Greenhouse. When I got down there all the plants weren't as healthy as they were when I went with Neville to care for them which was extremely weird, he loved herbology.

Professor Sprout came into the Greenhouse.

"Y/l/n I haven't seen you down here in a while." She said. I apologized.

"Professor why aren't the plants as healthy as they use to be?" I asked. She frowned.

"Well since you and Longbottom stopped caring for them it's been hard to keep up with them by myself." She explained.

"You mean to say that Neville hasn't been caring for them, but he loves these plants. I promise to help care for them again" I said. She smiled.

"That would be lovely, thank you" She said. I began to take care of the plants how I remembered Neville taught me.