After my two days of healing, I had to spend my entire day in my office trying to finish as much piled up work as possible. I reached back home around 9:30 PM in the night and had no energy to converse with any soul on the planet. So ended up succumbing to the bed right away.
In the morning, when my eyes opened. I felt unusually tired. Making me realize that sometimes even the work you love can give you burnout when done all at once. I looked at my phone and saw Dylan's text, which said, "Meet me at Porteno @3PM." I cringed at it as I dragged myself off the bed, pushing away the sheets. Why does he want me to meet me at a restaurant now? He said he will come home.
I didn't think about it for way longer. I cleaned myself before I texted him back. My mind is pretty boggled when I wake up, so this is the best way to reply to a morning text after you finish all the chores. "Why? You are not coming home?" I texted. There were times when I seriously doubted my decision, out of nowhere. For a minute, I was thinking how conveniently I am letting him be emotionally closed off with me, and he acts as though he has emotions.
Why couldn't he give himself a chance to fall in love and be with the person who genuinely cares about him? How could he punish another woman for getting cheated on or whatever that happened to him? How serious it could be anyway? That is when I heard my phone ping, Dylan replied, "I have some things to tell you." I stared at my phone screen for a hot minute.
His secretiveness has always made me feel as though I was walking on eggshells. Why was I scared of him anyway? Or was I scared of myself? Today, I wasn't feeling good about myself or the whole thing at all. Maybe PMS was around the corner or it's just my sane side waking up, I had no idea. I didn't bother to reply as I just threw my head back into the couch, lying there feeling blank in the head.
I sat up in a jerk motion as I get the sudden urge to look at my dress that I will be wearing tonight. Whenever I looked at it, I remember his face and his smile for some reason. I placed the dress over my body and imagined myself walking in with my hot date, who definitely would be in a tuxedo. And how everyone will be staring us. I laughed at myself that this was the only relationship I had where the guy was not afraid to show her off in public.
But at the cost of my private life. I placed it back in the cover and thought of grabbing a brunch before I went out to meet him at Porteno.
The times were moving fast today, it was already 1:30 PM, and I had to get ready and get to Manhattan, which was about 20 minutes away from my place. I picked my short A-line dress, which had some beautiful floral prints on it, to go with my favorite boots along with it. I did my make up bare minimum, as probably this was my first meeting with him in public as his fake girlfriend, and I had to look as presentable as I could be to him as well as if anyone were to see us together.
I might have taken the transit light that I arrived at 3:15 PM at Porteno and rang him to tell him that I was there. He kept calling me while I was on the way, which made me realize that doctors were pretty punctual, and in his case, he always stuck to his words. "Hey, where are you?" I asked.
"Walk in, you will find me," Dylan replied as he disconnected the call. It was a small dine-in place that had a very cozy environment and had a European air to it as if you are magically teleported to Paris or something. I push the door on the way in, to find Dylan on a corner two-seater. I waved at him; it soothed me to see his broad smile after a day. I missed him, and I hoped it was not too evident on my face as I walked towards him.
He stood up as I closed in. He moved to the other side to drag the chair out for me and helped me sit down like a gentleman. I felt as though I was some princess for a minute. I remembered what my grandma always told me. That we should choose that man who will make you fall in love with yourself, and I was looking right at him at this moment. "So what are we doing here?" I asked.
"You look beautiful today. Well, I wanted to take you out as you must have been tired of just being at home with the healing and then work. What would you have?" I stared at him as he said these words. I didn't know any more ways to fall in love and how you can meet the right person but in the wrong circumstances, making sure that you cannot have that happiness. He called over the waiter as he waited for my response.
"Umm... Anything, I am not very hungry." I replied, for some reason, whenever I am around him, it felt as though my whole digestive system stopped. Maybe it was the anxiety, or the rush, or something that he made me feel whenever I looked into his eyes. "Are you sure? I love their Pasta. Okay, get us Rigate Con Chorizo A La Paprika." He said, looking up at the waiter. He nodded and left, forcing to reciprocate to his wild stare.
"So, I wanted to tell you something before we went to the event today. I have not attended it since, umm... you know!" He started stammering, and I knew he was referring back to his deep, dark past. "Don't mind me asking; I know you don't want to share it, but at least tell me some of it so I will have some idea. Because when people refer to that part of you, I feel like a joke as I have no idea what it was about, and I have to pretend to them that I know."
Dylan fell silent, and I knew that look on his face. He was going back into his shell, which meant I crossed the line. It was never respectful to dig someone else's skeleton, which is a trauma that they carry in their psyche. "Hey! I am sorry! I didn't mean to come off so insensitive. If you don't want to share it, I will keep my mouth entirely shut from now on."
Dylan leaned a little closer as he said, "you know, the only way to shut someone's mouth from not asking the wrong question is to give them a hint, what is behind the door. You have it guessing whether it is a skeleton, pumpkin, or just cobwebs is not helping anyone. I agree with you; it's not ideal to bring you into this mess and not share at least the brief of what happened."
I nod, and I stared deep into his eyes, trying to build that trust in him so he could let it all out to me. There were only a few people here and there in the cafe as it was Saturday and most people would be either home with their family or working. "So, this happened when I was 21 years old, in the third year of my med school. I fell in love with a junior. It was that one time when I knew what love felt like. Umm... but it didn't last. Six years of my life in that and now spending a lifetime to prevent it from happening again."
As I sat there listening to the bits and pieces of his story, I could see the pain in his eyes. As though that pain was raising from his soul, I felt it, and I knew right away that it wouldn't have been just an ending like I thought. "What happened?" I asked, leaning in. If I had to console him, or if I had to restrain myself from triggering him. He took a deep breath before he said, "she died."
I sat there for a minute staring at him, without knowing what to say. So many questions ran through my mind. I did want to know if he did move on or not. Maybe he didn't. I felt a little jealous of that woman who is no longer on Earth anymore. I was not sure if I could find a man like this who would still mourn for me if I didn't exist anymore. Our food arrived at that moment, giving us some time to cool off the intense air that built with this whole conversation.
"Well, this was why I wanted to talk to you as well. There may be people coming up to you asking about my wellbeing and if I have recovered." Dylan said as we started to eat our food. It tasted like heaven, and I knew for a fact that Dylan did have a good taste in restaurants and food. "Recovered from?" I prompted.
"Umm... nevermind. Just say I am recovered, and that you are happy with me. That will do!" Dylan skipped over the information, which probably was shameful for him in some way. "And, you will probably meet my granny tonight at the event," Dylan added, making me choke on the bite that I took.
"What? Wait, don't tell me that I am going to the most expensive events in NY, and I am going to meet your grandmother, who I was being warned about this entire time." Dylan smiled for the first time since we touched upon his intense past. "You will be fine, just be yourself," Dylan said, with a wink.
Now it made sense he wanted to bribe with this nice lunch, give me all the information required and prepare me for something that I was underestimating this whole time.