Caliber Damien
"I don't love you...anymore," she said. My brain couldn't process the words she just said as I kept staring at the luggage she is carrying with her.
The smell of rain outside filled my nose as I inhaled deeply, trying to keep my tears from flowing out of my stinging tear ducts. I tried, but I failed miserably. I looked weak and let my tears speak for themselves.
"This is not going to work, Caliber" I tried finding some remorse in her voice, but there wasn't any. In her eyes, I can't tell if there's any, for they kept avoiding mine so, I smiled and chuckled, hoping this is all just a prank.
"It's raining... Don't go outside," I didn't care if I sounded like I was begging for her because I was.
With tears in my eyes, I tried my best to grab her hands and to engulf it with my warmth. I succeeded, but she yanked it away as if it was a locked chain keeping her from freedom.
"Why? Our relationship was fine..." I asked before giving the sleeves of her sweater a death tight grip.
I muttered her name and asked her, '...why ?' trying my best to contain my calm but, my voice already cracked at its peak. She smiled and closed her eyes before shrugging my grip off her sweater.
"Fine? Lies..." she giggled as if our relationship was only a joke from the start.
Lies...
That very word brought me to insanity.
Lies...
"I don't think following me everywhere and following every boy I talk to is fine. You're unstable. You need help," she angrily explained while I wash my face with my lukewarm tears.
"But I only do that because you were getting too attached-" I wasn't able to finish my words when she pushed me and screamed in frustration with her hands caressing her face.
"You're making me crazy, Denise! A- all the miss calls, the late nights, t- the cold shoulder you're giving me... You can't even tell me who that guy was and-" I explained without taking a break to catch my breath.
"God! He was my lab partner, Caliber... Ugh! There is no use explaining it to you," she exclaimed, pushing me lightly with every word.
"Oh? And does your lab partner really need to take you to a motel-" I cried "to what?... do different kinds of the experiment?" I screamed back at her, trying to reminisce the time I caught her kissing that one jerk, who she claimed was her "lab partner."
"Yo- you followed us...?" she stammered while I was there, realizing the things that I just said were true. "Okay fine. Yes, I fucked with him. And that means we're over, right? So just let me go!"
"NO!!!" I frustratingly shouted back at her.
My sudden outburst made her flinch but wasn't enough to stop her from making me want her gone from my life. I wanted to call her a 'slut' and I started to regret calling her my angel, but love makes us do things.
"I don't feel any love in this relationship anymore... Yo- you are too much. Goodbye, Caliber..." she sighed heavily.
She used to call me Damien because she wants the first letter of our endearment to match, that's why I call her Denise, instead of her real name.
"And now, you're calling me Caliber because I am not your Damien anymore- huh, Denise?" I sarcastically chuckled while my tears are still flowing down my pity face.
"That was a long time ago, Caliber! We are grown-ups now! I will appreciate it if you call me by my real name again..." she complained.
"Why...? You never appreciate everything I do anyway..." I scoffed back at her.
"Again with the childish ticks...? Ugh! Just let this go! Let ME go..." her beautiful eyes shone because of her tears as she continuously wipes them with her sweater.
She was pointing her index finger at me the whole time she was shouting and all I could do is stare at it. Her angry face looks so much beautiful. I need to kiss her so, the words intended for someone else will be mine.
I only need 3 words... Please, Denise... Please say it...!
"I LOVE YOU... " I whispered as I took a step closer to her.
"You love too much, Caliber. Do me a favor... And love yourself," she said as she took a step backward, getting her phone out of her pockets in the process.
"Caliber. What-?!" she screamed when I suddenly snatched her hands and brought them closer to my chest.
Tightly, I clasped her hands together and looked at her widened eyes. My voice was going out already; it trembles so much that I have to let my tears mend it. There were so many tears offered to her that my throat was already dry.
I can't stop...
I must not...
"But I love you... I offered everything to get you... Am I not that enough? Or you just like using me?" I asked with rage, but I can't help feel sadness for myself after remembering everything that I have done for her.
"No, it's not like-" she said while struggling to find an explanation.
"I forgive you, but please... Please come back!!!" I exclaimed and hugged her; she struggled in my touch before successfully pushing me away from her.
I kneeled and begged her to say my name and to bring aid to my wounded heart, but then she blurted out the words no one could bear. It popped my last living sanity in my head.
"I don't love you anymore... I love someone else... Estephan is-" the way he said his name completely sent me to hell.
Rage filled me quickly and my body seemed to move on its own when I pushed her to the wall, completely letting my body cover hers.
"See? SEE!!! Being with other guys even though we are not done is not fucking fine either!" I shouted, not caring how loud I am right now. I tried slapping the shit out of her but my hands couldn't destroy an angel that I love so much so I let my fist made contact with the wall.
"Denise... Please, I love you," I whispered ever so delicately in her ear, feeling my normal voice coming back again.
It's painful. But the blood was worth Denise.
"WE are DONE, Caliber! I'm leaving," she whimpered as her eyes widened when I touched her cheek with my wounded hand.
I pinned her hands on the wall and kissed her deeply. This feels good even though she was not responding... like she used to.
"Stop... Please... "she begged with her tears staining her sweater and our molded lips.
She started crying and that made my soul jumped, I'm such a jerk. I peeled myself from her as she stomped away... So far away from me. I wanted to pull her again, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt her once more.
"Please... Denise. I want to prove my love to you, but everything I do is not satisfying you at all," I explained, not caring if my voice was hoarse from being deprived of moisture.
She turned her back on me and opened the door to exit, but I ran and hugged her tightly. I'm sure I am staining her clothes with my blood and tears, but I just don't care.
At least, I got to put a mark on her before it was all too late, but then, who am I kidding?
It's far too late...
"You want to prove yourself...? Then... will you die for me?" she scoffed at me.
The clock ticked slower when she asked me, but my heart beats the opposite tempo. I can still feel the fast beating inside my chest. A thunder clapped from outside when I gripped her closer to me, unable to answer her sudden question.
Maybe an answer is not accepted, is it...?
Because... She was looking for action...
Die
For
Her...
"You can't, can you?" she said before she escaped my grip.
I was left there dumbfounded with tears all over me and blood on my hands. I didn't kill anyone, but I managed to smear my hands with blood. She finally killed me this day, but she managed to do it without getting filth on her hands.
"Denise..." I called, but even though I know no one will answer.
The sunlight touched my skin through the window after I realized that she was gone from my sight forever. The sound of the door closing brought me to reality once more.
"No rain... The sky is clearing," I whispered.
I looked through the window and looked down, only to find Denise in the arms of a tall boy with dark hair while holding a bouquet of carnations.
"So that's him... Huh?-" my lips quivered as I spoke, feeling my hands forming into a fist "- what a handsome bastard..."
My eyes started to produce more tears and caused both of their faces to become blurred. Their actions were crystal clear though, they were hugging and the boy, who I assumed was Estephan, was worried seeing the blood staining her clothes.
That's my blood...
I opened my window to get a better view of their "love." It's funny that she starts smiling right away just by seeing that son of a bitch-!!!
I'm so angry I could just kill myself, right now. When that thought came into my mind, there was no hesitation. My mind and heart both craved that feeling of death.
I was dead anyway, a walking dead boy. I am lifeless without Denise, she was my life, but now that she wants me no more- I too want myself no more.
I want myself gone...
My laughter ringed in my ear just by thinking of her expression if I flopped down dead in front of her while my blood pools beneath her like a sacrifice for her perfection.
Wait...
She'll be proud of that.
I would die in front of her.
To prove...
I love her...
"This is for you Denise...-"
I jumped down the window without a second thought. A smile was plastered on my face, maybe she's right... I am not stable. I love too much that it's making her sick.
I guess, my mother taught me wrong when she said to give my 200% best at everything.
"-Goodbye... "I could have written that in a piece of paper, but I don't see any sense in that.
With a swift movement, I felt the air surrounding me disappear and the only light I saw was Denise.
At least I saw her face before I go.
At least she knew that she is to DIE for...