I wake up early in the morning, when I check the time it's only 5 in the morning. Nathan is deep in his sleep with his hair covering his face and my feet on his chest. He is hugging my legs comfortably. I remove my feet careful not to disturb his sleep and move closer to him. I move his hair away from his face and scan the beautiful creature in front of me.
He is handsome in his own way and I would fall for him if he wasn't so angry all the time. But last night what he did for me makes me respect him. On the side table my phone beeps a multiple times. What the hell?
I check my phone and there were a series of messages from Amy and Zack and many other of my friends at 12 o'clock this morning. All wishing me happy birthday. What? Before I could open the messages I get a call from mom.
"Hey mom, it's 5 in the morning. Why are you calling so early? Everything okay?" I whisper, careful not to disturb the sleeping Nathan.
"I'm so so sorry honey, I wanted to call at midnight but I fell asleep. Happy birthday my pumpkin!"
"What? Mom my birthday isn't today. It's next month."
"You are amazing woman, aren't you? Check the date you silly girl. It's 1st of december today."
"Oh man, you are right. It's my birthday today. Thanks ma!"
"Did you ever tell Nathan?"
"No, I don't remember if I did. And I don't feel like celebrating it either so let's just keep it quiet, please mom." I still can't get the images of last night out of my head. Every second they flash in front of my eyes.
"Okay, as you say. What do you want as a present?"
"I'll think about it and tell you. Can you send those cookies you make for me by any chance?"
"Honey, you are in New York...."
"Yeah, well forget it."
"I'll make them for you the moment you land back, promise."
"Sure."
"Love you sweetie!"
"Love you too mommy."
I hang up with a sigh. Birthday without mommy's cookies. Lame!!! I check my messages. I didn't care where my phone was last night, so I missed call from Zack, Amy and... Fuck! Dylan called me last night. Oh my God, this will be awkward. Yes, we left things at good terms but I don't think he knows I married another man, precisely a stranger, six months after we broke up.
"Happy Birthday April," I hear his voice after six months, "How have you been? I didn't expect the machine. I hope you are partying hard. I miss you so much. I can't believe I am not with you on your birthday but I am sure Zack and Amy won't disappoint you. I have plans to visit the states this winter, maybe we can meet then? Anyways you have time to think about that, right now you just enjoy, okay? Happy Birthday once again."
Enjoy? I don't have shit to enjoy. I am not even with my friends and family. But I have bigger problem to deal with right now, I have to press charges against Max. I bury my head in my hands thinking that I might have to see that bastard's face again if I have to go to court.
I head to the washroom and take a long refreshing shower. I find a bruise on my arm. Max left his mark on me. I rub the spot to get rid of the redness but it's no use. Tears form in my eyes but I hold them back. I'm not going to cry for a douche bag like him on my birthday. Plus I'm sure Nathan will send him to jail. Yeah, after last night he will surely be on my side.
When I come out Nathan is still asleep. I decide not to disturb him and go out for a walk. When I walk out of the hotel it's freezing. It must have snowed all night because everything around me is white and shinning. The roads are equally busy. Of course, New York is the city that never sleeps.
After half an hour of roaming here and there, grabbing a hotdog as breakfast I come back to the hotel. When I'm at the door of my room I hear voices from inside.
"Damn this is frustrating," Nathan says.
"We understand," Is that Kyle's voice? What is he doing here?
"Where is she?" Zayn asks. Are all of his friends here? Are they here to discuss about last night?
"I don't know exactly. Maybe she is out to get some fresh air."
"She must be devastated after hearing what Max had to say. How can anybody be so sick?" Zayn says.
"Oh, I was sick to my stomach after hearing that. I didn't even know Robin had told Max that I was against this marriage. But I should have understood, Robin tells him everything. And then the way April used to hide in me when he was around. I should have been more observant." I didn't even realise but I was crying and smiling at the same time. I was crying because of remembering the events of last night but I was smiling because Nathan cares about me. He is not indifferent towards me.
"It's not your fault your cousin is an asshole." Kyle replies. He is right, it's not his fault.
"So, what are you going to do?" someone who is probably Lucas asks. It's hard to interpret the voices through the door. I slowly click the door open and enter the living area but no one was in here. They were in the bedroom which was seperated by a small wall. They can't see me but I can see them. All four of Nathan's best friends were here. I didn't know they came to New York as well.
"I have to make sure no-one knows about this." Nathan replies, "I also have to make sure Max never comes in contact with April ever again. I'm going to tell David to direct all of his calls to my office number rather than my person number."
"Wait a second," Jason interrupts, "What if April wants to press charges?" Nathan's eyes widen a little, as if the thought hadn't crossed his mind. Why? Why hasn't thought crossed his mind? Why woundn't I want to press charges?
"Then I will have to convince her not to." He replies and tears fall from my eyes, "I can't afford it. She can't afford it. Robin will not allow it, Max is more of a son to him than I am."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Kyles says, "Dude, she has to press charges. It's her right to press charges. Didn't you hear what he said, Max thought it was his right to rape her!"
"I know! But I can't let this thing get out in public, we are already having a hard time convincing people this marriage is happy and not against our will. I can't take the risk."
"Dude, forget about the business and this marriage of a second. This is not you! This not who you are! You would have press charges against a man like Max, even if he tired raping a stranger, this is your wife!" Lucas accuses him, "What happened to you man? This is so not who you are!"
"Lucas is absolutely right!" Zayn says, "You have to covince Robin, no matter what! Honestly, I am more worried about you than her right now."
"You guys think I don't want him go to jail for what he did to her?!" Nathan raises his voice, "Of course I do! Dammit, if it were upto meet I would have killed him yesterday! But it's not! Nothing here is upto me! I feel like I am my father's puppet now! Max is his right hand, I can't do anything to him." Silence falls in the room. I continue to silently sob as my mind is competely blank right now.
"But April can." Jason breaks the silence, "She is the one who should be taking this decision not you." He is right. Nathan has to give me this liberty.
"And then what? My father and my wife would fight in court?" Nathan questions, "What am I going to do? Who's side am I going to take? And what about her father? When finds out he going to let her divorce me!" Nathan paces back and forth in the room, "No! She has to keep this quiet, otherwise it's going to turn ugly." I don't know when I entered the room but everything fell still as soon as everbody saw me. Nathan stopped pacing and looked like somebody had kicked him in the nuts. Well I was about to!
"April," He gasps. I slap him hard as soon as my name leaves his mouth. The others look at each other and are about to leave when I slap him again. More awkward air enters the room but I don't care. Nathan doesn't say anthing, he doesn't look me in the eyes, he just stands there bowing his head. Everyone else leaves and now we are alone. I slap him again and he lets me as if accepting his punishment.
"This was worse and more painful than Max raping me." I say and turn around to leave the room. But, Nathan grabs my elbow.
"Please let me explain."
"There is nothing left to explain, Nathan. But, I have to ask something, why did you pretend to support me last night? There were no cameras around, then why? Why even bother? I would have got over it."
"April I was trying to comfort you. I feel for you, I really do!"
"Oh don't give me that bullshit. You only feel for yourself and your company. Just like your greedy father." I spit out, "Why didn't you let him rape me? I am sure there must be a personal gain there as well, right?"
"What? Last night I told you I would never share you and you believed me. How can you think that low of me now?!"
"I am stupid Nathan! I trusted you! Clearly I shouldn't have!" I turn around and leave. I enter the lift and press a random button. I don't even have any place to go. I end up knocking Rebecca's door.
"Oh my God, what happened April?" She takes my hand and guides me inside.
"Nathan and I got into a fight." More tears flow down my cheeks.
"It's okay, It's going to be okay." she hugs me tightly and rubs my back, "Didn't you sleep last night? You look exhausted. You know what, you can sleep here for a while. Go sleep next to Emily." I nod and lie next to Emily.
What am amzaing start to my birthday! The one time I trust him. I cover my head with the blanket. Every decision I make nowadays is bad. What's happening? Why am I even with him? I can just divorce him and get my life back on track. That's correct. I have to divorce him. My head feels so heavy. Automatically my eyes close and I fall asleep.
When I wake it's 12 in the noon. I'm in my room, in my bed. Did I fall asleep here? Was that all a dream? I look around to find Nathan but he is nowhere in sight. Please God, make all that a dream.
I see a tray full of food on the coffee table. A groan leaves my stomach and I realise how hungry I am (all the damn time. *winks*)
When I finish my food there is a knock on the door.
"Come in," The door opens revealing David in a blue suit.
"Hey," he says.
"Hi. You want something?"
"No. Just came here to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk to anyone right now, it's best for you to leave me alone."
"April please. Don't push me away. Don't worry, I will talk to him, we'll convince him together to press charges. We will fight this the legal way."
"I don't even want to now. It is not about whether I want to press charges or not, David, it's about whether I can trust him or not. I can't trust him David. He will always put his interests above mine."
"That's not true. I have known that man for a while now, he is nothing like that. He has always put the interests of the people he care about above his."
"Then he doesn't care about me. And please if you are here to advocate him, please go."
"I am not taking his side. Okay, tell me how you feel, I am listening." He sits on the edge of the bed.
"I don't want to. I am just angry and nothing else. I have never been this angry at anyone before. Only a person as selfish as him is can do such a thing. There is no difference between him and Max."
"April, can I say something. But before I do I want you to know I am not advocating him or anything."
"Shoot!"
"You should try to get to know him. You are very open to the people around you but he is not. If he refuses to open up to you ask his friends. Then you will know the real man behind this facade."
"Why even have a facade?"
"Because he thinks it's necessary. Why? I think he or the people very close to him should be the one to tell you that." He gives me a side hug and leaves the room. I am left alone in room with my thoughts. Okay! Let me keep this simple. I should discuss this with my mom and dad and get a divorce from him. I have no interest in going through the trouble of getting to him.
The door clicks open and Nathan walks in. He still refuses to look me in the eye as my eyes burn holes in him. Divorce! Divorce! My mind screams. He starts to work on something in his phone and moves past me into the bed room.
"How did I end up the room?" I ask him.
"Rebecca your friend, bumped into me at the reception. She told me you were sleeping in her room. I picked you up from there."
"I want a divorce." I didn't listen to a word he said, I just want to be away from him.
"What?" he turns around and comes back into the living room, "Oh God," he chuckles, "Why are you like this child who refuses to accept the reality? Why are you so naive? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"What the hell is wrong with me?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yell, " How can a living breathing person be so stone cold inside? I hate you, you hate me then let's just divorce each other and get it over with."
"Yes, I hate you. Yes, I can't press charges against Max and I know this is unfair to you but I can't do anything about it. But, however unfair this gets, we can't divorce each other. If you can't understand it verbally I can write it down for you!"
"Who are you? I can't believe a human being can be so cruel!" I yell, "You are unbelievable, instead of apologizing for what happened this morning you are blaming me for being naive?! Yes, I am naive! I believe people easily. Maybe that's because I don't live with such douche bag people. Max, Robin etc etc. You know, they can't be trusted and you have lost trust in everyone! You don't trust your own mother! You don't even trust yourself with your emotions, do you?!" I scream.
My cheeks turn red from all the anger and I breathe heavily. God, my head is about to explode. Or worse I can kill Nathan! He is driving me insane!
"Just go downstairs and have your lunch. And never speak to me like that again!" he points his finger at me in a warning.
"Or what?! No Nathan what's the worse you can do? Hit me? Torture me? Rape me? I want to see how low you can stoop Nathan!"
"Shut up, April!"
"Don't take my name out of your dirty mouth you pig! I never thought I would hate someone as much as I hate you!" my eyes are blazing with anger and I look at him straight in his eyes.
"Shut up April!" He says again. I close my palm into a fist and raise it to hit him but before I do that he grabs my hand and pushes me behind until my back hits the wall. Pain tries to take over but I ignore it and continue to look at him.
"You know what from the day this marriage started you are going on and on about how much I hurt you. Yes, I want to hurt you because you hurt me first. And guess what, April Grey," he spits out,"it was my plan. My plan to bring you to dinner and humiliate you in front of my friends. I was the one who texted you. Max told me about his plan earlier and I agreed to it because I don't fucking care what happens to you. Why would I, huh? You are nothing to me. But then I saw a group of paparazzi coming towards you guys and I had do that act of saving you." his voice is quiet and steady when he says that. Is he telling the truth? Blackness is all I see. I feel sick. My body goes numb and my mind goes blank. There was still a part of who believed him when he said he felt for me. Not anymore.