It's been 2 weeks since we are in New York. After a spectacular birthday celebration, I spend most of my days in the bed reading a novel or surfing through my phone. I found a random app for reading novels online and that is the silver lining in my life right now. Rebecca and Emily often come to cheer me up but it's useless. Talking to mom and dad is the most difficult part of it all. I can't pretend anymore. I don't have the energy for it. I have told everything to my parents till now, this is a first.
I don't even have the energy to cry anymore. What have I become? Where did my simple and boring life go? Nathan doesn't face me during the day. His lunches and dinners are outside and we both are doing a great job ignoring each other. I don't even look at him anymore. I sometimes cry myself to sleep and I know he knows that as well. But he doesn't care. I was never this weak but this hurts. He has ruined me in a way I couldn't have ever imagined.
My mom calls me twice a day to check if I am still breathing. She knows that something is very wrong. She asks me what happened in every call. David does his best to keep me distracted but I eventually send him away as well. Nothing brings peace to me. Emma's smile and laughter brings a little light in my dark world but that's temporary. Rebecca now knows how fond I am of Emma so she send her over whilst her work.
According my rountine these days I am lying in the couch looking outside. My phone rings and I look over the table to see that Anna is calling me. I ignore the call. It's been a while since I am ignoring her calls but the last thing I want right now is someone to talk on behalf of Nathan. I am not blaming her fortaking her son's side but I can't deal with it right now. I just can't take it.
It's 9 o'clock in the evening and order room service. I finish my dinner quickly and get in the bed with my novel again. I'm so emotional right now that everything makes me cry. Even when a character dies in the novel I end up crying my eyes out. I don't know what's up with me lately. I have lost myself somewhere in darkness. Just like Nathan. He has lost himself in the light of media, business, show off, paparazzi, fame... He is not himself and he knows it. I often think of how he is really like.
Is he a caring and loving person? If I were not his unwanted wife and if I were his girlfriend, would he treat me differently? What was he like when he was a child? Was he always this temperamental? What about Alyssa, his previous girlfriend? Was she happy with him? Was he happy with her? There are so many questions that I am seeking answers to. But there is no where I can get them. David said I should ask the people close to him. His friends were in agreement with what I said.
But will they help me? Will they answer my questions? It's worth a try. I remember echanginf phone numbers with Zayn and Lucas during the wedding. I pick up my phone to find their number. After a lot more overthinking I dial Zayn's number.
"Hello? Who's this?"
"Zayn, this is April. Umm, I... I wanted to talk to you, privately."
"Can I ask what is this about? Why privately? I can come to the hotel with Nathan."
"I want to talk about Nathan. I think that answers both of your questions."
"Oh! Can I call you back?" That is a lame excuse. Can't he just say no?
"Okay." I sigh and tap my phone on my head.
"Bye." he hangs up. I somewhat know he is lying. But that must be for a reason. I lay in the bed and wait for Zayn to call me back. Why am I even expecting him to call back?
I don't realise when I fall asleep until I hear constant knocking on the door. I check the time, it's 4 a.m. in the morning. Who's there at four in the morning? I walk to the door and gulp before I open the door. The pounding doesn't stop. I click the door open and see a woman around my age carrying a half asleep Nathan.
"Nathan?!" I look at both of them with wide eyes.
"Are you his wife?" she asks.
"No," I say. I don't know why I lied.
"Well help me!" she sharply says.
"Your... whoever he is to you was way too drunk. At first I took him to my house. I thought he would...you know... But then he kept saying he is married while I tried to change him into something more comfortable. But this man wouldn't even let me touch him. So called the first number on his speed dial but no one picked up. Then I called the second number and his assistant told me this address." she goes on telling me as we adjust Nathan on the bed.
"Were you thinking of having sex with him?" I blurt out without thinking. I immediately regret it. Who would ask this kind a of question to a stranger?
"Well yes!" she winks, "I mean look at this man. He is way too flawless to not have sex with. He was perfectly drunk and before he got so wasted he was flirting with me so I thought I might have a chance." she says without hesitation, "Oh my God, is his wife here? I hope I'm not in trouble."
"He was flirting with you?" That is not hard to believe, it's not like I have any right on him.
"Yeah, totally."
"Well, his wife is not here. Don't worry." I assure her in a cracking voice.
"Then who are you?" she asks suspiciously, as if catching my lie. I panic and walk towards the coffee table.
"I am his business partner!" I say the first thing that comes to my mind. Technically I'm not wrong, my dad has merged with his company so in a way I am his business partner.
"Then why are you in his room at 4 o'clock in the morning?"
"Uh, this was the last room left in this hotel." I gulp. Please believe me I know I am a terrible liar but please. I have no answer to why I have lied.
"Makes sense." She shrugs, "I better go." She waves at me and barges out. Closing the door behind her I make my way back to the bedroom looking at a drunk Nathan, I wonder why he drank so much. I throw myself on the couch and soon fall asleep.
In the morning when I wake up it's 9. I hear Nathan in the shower. He comes out with a towel wrapped around his wet torso. I walk past him into the washroom and freshen up. When I come out my body is aching for a coffee and to my luck there is a cupful of coffee on the dinner table. I take a sip and cherish as the liquid spreads warmth in my chest.
"That's my cup." Nathan states, "I was drinking that coffee."
Eww!! I instantly feel nauseous and run back to the washroom. I rinse my mouth thoroughly over and over again. But it's not enough, I still have the taste of coffee in my mouth. When I come back Nathan is drinking from 'his' cup. We hear a hurried knocking of the door.
"Mr Walsh, it's David. Open up! Fast!"
"What is it?" Nathan asks as he opens the door.
"Where were you last night, sir?" he counter questions instead of answering.
"In my office." He answers.
"Sir, did a women bring you here?"
"No,"
"Yes, a woman brought him here." I correct him. Why is he lying to David? I thought he told him everything.
"Well then we are in trouble." he turns towards me.
"David, will you cut the crap and get to the point." I say sharply. I don't know why but it annoys me when I think of the woman who brought Nathan home. She wanted to have sex with someone who is married. It's good that he didn't let her touch him. I mean not that I care but I do not like it. Taking advantage of someone who is drunk. Cliché. But that could help me, I could easily file for a divorce if he selpt with her.
"Look at this." he shows us the tabloid of this morning. Nathan's eyes go wide as soon as he reads the headlines. There was a picture of drunk Nathan in the bar and then the woman carrying him to the hotel with big bold letters :
Is Nathan Walsh cheating on his beloved wife?! Was all his affection a lie?!
"Fuck!" I and Nathan say at the same time.