I don't know what the hell happened right now. Or why did it happen? We kissed, we laughed, we are so fucked up. Soon Zayn finds us laughing in the middle of the street. He's happy things is sorted between us but we didn't sort out anything. Does he believe me, does he not? Who knows? We decline Zayn's invitation of dinner and take a taxi back to the hotel.
I make my bed (the couch) as Nathan takes a shower. I search my bag for a first aid kit, my mom always kept one in my travelling bag. It contains bandages - that would be a no he hates bandages, then crepe - doesn't have a twisted ankle, then antiseptic - yes, he needs it, pain relief spray - definitely, cotton - yes again.
I keep cotton, relief spray and antiseptic aside and wait for him to come out. It's been half an hour and he isn't out yet.
"Nathan?" I knock on the door, "Did you fall asleep in there or what?"
"In a minute." he answers. That's understandable. Showers are good place to think. A few seconds later he is out of the shower, dressed in all black pajamas and t shirt.
"Sit, lemme do your first aid."
"I don't need one." he looks away.
"Oh come on, I threw the bandages away." I tempt.
"I am not scared of bandages. Venessa has a habit of exaggerating things." he says under his breath.
"Okay, now stop being a child and come here." I instruct.
"I'll stop being a child when you stop being my mom." he rolls his eyes and sits beside me, "You know you sound like a thousand year old woman sometimes?" he says as I dip the cotton in the antiseptic.
"And then go back to being a 5 year old?" I question.
"Exactly!" he laughs. I laugh along with him.
"Here," I hand him the spray, "Apply it." He takes it from my hand and takes off his shirt and I look away.
"What?" he asks.
"Uh-umm, n-nothing." I stutter.
"Did you just blush?" he chuckles.
"No I didn't!"
"Yes you did, you are red as a rose!" he continues to laugh, "Ouch!" he says, "my stomach really hurts!" he squeezes his eyes shut.
"Oh, do you think we should go see a doctor?"
"No but do you have any pain killers?"
"Yeah, wait." I take out a pain killer and hand it to him.
"You take rest," I say and throw myself on the couch. Ah, I am so tired. The moment I land on the couch my arms and legs aches.
"What are you doing?"
"Sleeping." I mutter with close eyes.
"Okay," he says after a moment of silence.
"Ouch! Fuck!" I hear him say.
"What?" I sit up.
"Nothing. Sleep."
"Tell me!" I demand.
"Nothing." he says a little curtly this time.
"Why did you even come there? You did nothing but get beaten up by a bunch of high school boys. Doesn't that hurt your male ego?"
"It's better than watch you get killed by them!" he says almost getting angry, "I mean for you that all was a joke. That guy had a knife April. How could you not be afraid?"
"He was kid, no more then 15. He was never going to use that knife. One kick in the nuts and he would be crying like a baby."
"And what about the others? April you should put yourself in danger like that."
"Aww, you worried, Walsh?" I say sarcastically.
"Of my reputation? Hell yeah!" I let out a small, dry chuckle and close my eyes again.
"Are you still mad at me?" I ask him after long moment of silence.
"Yes. What makes you think I'm not?"
"I don't know, you aren't passing rude comments and then you..." I stop myself from bringing up the kiss part. I'm not ready to have a conversation about it right now.
"I what..?"
"I don't want to talk about it." I add and turn back to him. As soon as I close my eyes again I fall asleep.
"April!!" a scream startles me awake. It's completely dark in the room I find my phone and switch the flashlight on. Nathan is sitting on the bed sweat beads all over his face, his hand reaching out to something.
"Hey, what happened?" he doesn't answer, "Nathan?" still no answer. He's starting to scare me. I walk across the room to switch on the lights. His breathing is so heavy, I can tell he has had a bad dream.
"Nightmare." he finally answers.
"Here." I hand him a glass of water, "Do you wanna talk about it?" I sit on the bed in front of him.
"No, I don't want to talk about it."
We sit in silence as seconds turn into minutes. I remember when I used to have nightmares about monsters chasing me (that is what happens when you watch toomuch fairy tail) when I was little, my dad used to come in, hug me until I fall asleep again. That's why Snow White was my favorite once because it didn't have monsters. Just an evil queen who didn't look evil at all. Now I find it ridiculous, but at the time I always used to wonder if I would wake when the prince kissed me. A huge grin appears on face as I think of the memory. I look at Nathan he is better now.
"Better now?" I ask him.
"No," he moves closer to me and wraps his arms around me tightly, "Now," he says and tightens his grip.
"Uhhh," I'm so confused. What is happening to him? He is hugging me, kissing me? Falling for me? my subconscious questions.
"Oh shut up!" I say out loud to my subconscious.
"But I didn't say anything." he stays the way he is.
"Yeah, sorry. Wasn't for you." I say.
"Then?"
"Uh, nothing." I hug him back tightly before he declares me insane. He already has sweetie. Guess who doesn't shut up! Minutes pass as we stay like that. I have to do something. This is so awkward.
"What's the time?" I ask. He finally pulls away and checks his phone.
"4 o'clock in the morning."
"Quite early. Let's go back to sleep. I'm sure no nightmares will haunt you now." as I start to get up he grabs my wrist and pulls me down again. Arghhh, he's being a child. "What?" I'm starting to lose my patience. Man, I want to sleep. I have not had a goodnight sleep for two nights now. 4 o'clock is just unlucky for me. I declare it unlucky.
"Sleep here." he whines.
"Nathan I'm two steps away from you on the couch." He shakes his head like a baby and I give in.
"Fine." I huff. I roll to the other side of the bed and cover myself with the blanket. Soon I feel his arms around me, I'm not surprised at all. I don't know what's changing him so much, I don't want him to. I do want him to know that I'm a not after his money, but I don't want to get attached to him. I just want to get divorce as soon as possible and move ahead in my life.
I turn in his arms to face him and palm his cheeks, they are so soft and chubby. I imagine what my life would be without him. I didn't have a boyfriend for a long time until I met him. My last boyfriend, Dylan was everything to me. I loved him so freaking much. He was a sweetheart, the best boyfriend in this whole world. I know I would have married him if he didn't have to move to London. We were together for 3 years and it totally clicked between us, my mom and dad were so fond of him, his parents practically adopted me and most of all I loved him like crazy. Surfing through my thoughts I fall asleep hugging Nathan's chest.
When I wake up it's quarter to nine, Nathan is already in the shower. Beep, beep. Two messages on his phone. Beep. Beep. Beep. I think someone needs him urgently. Maybe I should pick it. Why not? It can be urgent. I pick the phone and open it. There are series of messages from all of his friends and 50 messages in their group. Kyle has sent him a photo with 'what the hell?' as the caption. Even Robin has sent him a photo. The message from him is a bit long so I can't read it. My curiosity gets the best of me and I open the message.
'Today you have proved you have learnt a lot from me. Max told me about the trouble you got into with some girl but you handled it well. But don't let the girl know why exactly you kissed her, I don't want her to feel used. She seems naive to me so it's best to keep things like this away from her. Then again don't hesitate to show your affection in public.
What? I mean what? He kissed me for the paps? I look around the room to find a tabloid. The picture of me and Nathan kissing is on the front page. Oh my God! He did that! He used me to clarify the situation. The bathroom door clicks open and he comes out.
"Good you are up. I was thinking of going down..." he noticed my furious expressions, "What happened? Why do you have my phone with you?" I don't answer. I have a mix of emotions inside me. I am having a hard time remaining angry because mostly I feel depressed and weak.
"What the hell is this?!" I shout throwing the tabloid in his face, "You knew the paps were on their way, so you kissed me?! YOU FREAKING KISSED ME FOR SHOW!! I can't believe you cannot stoop so low!!" I turn red. His expressions are confused as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about.
"I gave you a solution of giving a press statement. I could have handled the situation." I begin to cry. Everyday I think things are better and the next moment he just breaks my heart into a billion pieces. I sit on the bed and burry my head in my hands. I feel so weak, I could easily black out right now.
"Jesus, relax it was just a kiss. You and I both know it didn't mean shit. You don't need to be so melodramatic all the damn time. That was the only thing that popped in my head and I did it. Now they'll be flashing this image for a week at least and then forget about that girl who brought me here." I look up at him as he casually rammages through this phone. I can't believe I cared about this stone hearted person who would anything as long as it benefitted him.
"I want to go. Back to LA." I wipe my tears and say.
"Okay, I'll book you a ticket." he says flatly.
Two Days Later...
When I land in LA I take a cab and go straight to my house. It's early in the morning so my dad is sitting in the lawn drinking coffee and reading newspaper.
"Daddy!!" I exclaim and hug him tightly.
"April? What are you doing here? You came back early? Why didn't you tell me? I would have sent a car for you. Why did you come here? Everything okay?" he showers me with questions.
"Yes, yes, dad. Everything is okay." I lie.
"I-uh- saw your picture," he says scratching the back of his head.
"Oh!"
"It's good you two are getting along."
"No, no, it's nothing like that." it slips out of my mouth.
"What do you mean it was nothing?" he laughs thinking I was joking. I sigh and look at him apologetically.
"Did you kiss him as a publicity stunt? What the hell? What? I don't get it. Did you do it so that people would think your marriage is a success?"
"Dad it was just..." he expressions are hurt mixed with regret and surprise. I didn't think about my parents having a problem with this. But then again they are not stoned hearted as Robin, they care about me and my choices.
"Who came up with this stupid idea? Did Nathan force you into this? Is that guy so cheap?!" Dad's face is red from anger.
"No, no, no. It was my idea. I wanted media to stay away from me and the only way possible was by making them believe I love him."
"This doesn't make any sense to me!" he yells, "I don't care if they flash the camera in your eyes and make you blind, you don't have to use yourself to clarify a bloody situation! You know what, go to your room."
"What's going on?" my mom enters with her cup of coffee.
"Dad give me a chance to explain..."
"Liz tell your daughter to go to her room!" Tears appear in my eyes as soon as I hear him refer me to my mom's daughter. He always refers me as his daughter.
"Go to your room, honey. I'll handle this." my mom says softly and I oblige.
"Andrew give her some time. It's her first him handling the paparazzi. Nathan is familiar but she..." I hear my mother say when I reach the door.
"Liz, that is no way to deal a situation!"
"But Andrew..."
"You know what you are right. Nathan is familiar. I need talk some sense into that boy's head. He bloody treats my daughter well!"
"Andrew, calm down will you?"
I run to my room and crash on the bed and sob in my pillow. Now Nathan has ruined my relationship with my dad as well. Is there anything left?