"What the hell is happening?"
Sejeong was sitting on the couch beside Seju who was crying her eyes out. The latter had told her everything that happened when she and Eunji visited Rohanne earlier. Sejeong was the only person that knew Seju from middle school as well as Yeonhwa, who happens to be Rohanne.
"That bastard…"
"Jeong… What should I do?"
Sejeong just looked at her friend who has a puffy face and eyes from crying so much. She was still in shock and disbelief, the Yeonhwa she knew from Middle school, and the Rohanne she knows from work are the same person. The thought of it was still processing in her brain.
'So all of that… All of that shit… Was about Seju all along…'
Naturally, she would comfort her friend, but this time, after she knew that Yeonhwa was playing and lying to them she just can't help but feel angry at herself. For not noticing everything, for not noticing the little habits the two person share.
'So Technically I still like the same person as before and I'm still the third wheel in their relationship…?'
She was stuck in an infinite loop of Yeonhwa chasing after Seju and her chasing after Yeonhwa. She thought that the person she was chasing right now was another person, but she was so wrong.
She got played…
Her feelings got played…
She knew it was a selfish thought. But right now with all that revelation, the fury, the anger, the disbelief, the pain, and the disappointment were all piling up that she can't even think straight. She needs a time out, a time out for herself, for her brain, and for her heart.
She needs time alone…
"Seju… I—I don't know… I don't know what you have to do… and I'm not the right person to give you an advice…"
She said, because after all she herself needs some advice from someone. She wanted to be selfish too, she wanted everything for herself too, and she wanted all the attention too… But she can't… She just can't…
"I'm sorry Seju… I uh… I need to go somewhere…" She excused herself as she stood up and snatched a hoodie from her room, she picked up her car keys and ran out of their Unit.
She needs to unwind, and she needs to think… Think the situation through…
"I need a drink…"
===
"Unnie! Get out of your room! You need to eat something!"
Jin-Ae yelled from outside Yeonhwa's Study room, she was holed up in the room for the past hours and was refusing to eat or even drink anything. Her phone got a ton of missed calls that she didn't even bother to check.
"Ugh! You're like a teenager that got rejected by her crush!" Jin-Ae said as she stomped her way away from the study room's door.
Austin on the other hand slipped her a note from below the door that there's food outside her door.
Her cousin was already frustrated on what's happening, but she was just there staring at nothing inside the dark room, the only thing that illuminates the room was the moon from outside.
"From the scale of 1-10 how fucked up am I?"
She asked herself as she thought of the things that might happen when she comes back to work.
She chuckled bitterly and answered her own question "probably 11"
She slowly sat on the floor and hugged her knees, feeling all the pain from what happened earlier. She then fell asleep in that position.
The next day she saw a note from Jin-Ae that she would visit her later and to eat her food. She just smiled at her cousin's thoughtfulness and obeyed Jin-Ae's request. She decided that she needs to go to work since it has been days so she did. She fixed herself up and proceeded to go to work, even though Austin was telling her not to.
"Miss…"
"It's alright Aus… I'll be fine…" She said and gave the man a smile
Austiin just sighed in defeat and let the woman go to work.
===
"So It's been what? A week since you came back to work. Any complications so far?"
"None, I can safely say that I'm already okay…"
She gave Doah a reassuring smile. It's been a week since she talked to Seju, and it's been a week since Sejeong started to distance herself from Rohanne. She already knew that it would happen, but she didn't expect it to be like that.
"Rohanne… Look at you… You look like you're not okay… You lost weight and you have dark circles under your eyes. How would I believe you if you look like a walking zombie?"
It was true. She didn't have any appetite to eat, even though Jin-Ae was visiting her pretty often, and Austin was taking care of her she still refuses to eat. She doesn't even remember the last time she had a decent meal and the last time she had a goodnight's sleep.
"Are you still blaming yourself for what happened?"
Rohanne looked at her boss, tiredness was visible in her eyes.
"You already donated so much to the family already. And the daughter already told us that it was just a spur of emotion, so you don't have to blame yourself."
She saw herself in that girl's shoes and wished that she didn't have to suffer like she did. When her father died, She couldn't get angry at anyone, because there was no one to blame but herself. She despised herself for not being able to save her father.
"Losing someone you love is unbearable. I just want to help her in a way that I can."
"Then why are you being like that?"
"Like what?"
"Miserable… Is this about Dr. Kim and Dr. Park?"
She was surprised from the sudden mention of Seju and Sejeong's name. Yes Seju was one thing she was concerned about but Sejeong was also avoiding her and was giving her the death glares. She does know the reason why. She also lied to Sejeong after all. From the moment she saw her she knew that the Sejeong she was talking with was the Sejeong she knew back in middle school, but she let herself lie to her.
"What?"
"Do you really think that I wouldn't notice? The three if you have been avoiding each other, even Sejeong was slowly distancing herself from you. I'm very concerned"
Since the day that she got back the three of them have been avoiding each other having different shifts and even different breaks, they were obviously avoiding each other. They do their best to avoid each other's presence as much as possible. Although it pains her so much, she can't do anything about it. She doesn't have any rights to complain It was her decision that lead them to be like that anyway.
"I'm concerned because whatever dispute the three of you have, it might affect your performances with your job. So I have made a decision."
Rohanne creased her forehead
"What Decision?"
And as if on cue the door swung open and the one of the two individuals that they have been talking about entered the office, which puts Rohanne in a more awkward situation. Sejeong gave her a death glare at first but she was quick to withdraw.
'I guess she's not expecting to see me here…'
"Chief you were looking for me?"
Doah gestured for the Sejeong to take a seat beside Rohanne, which she hesitantly did.
"Okay whatever happened to the three of you, I want it fixed as soon as possible."
Rohanne sighed, she wanted to protest, if only her boss knows what happened and why the three of them are acting like that. But she didn't want anyone else to get involved in their past, for she plans to bury the past so they don't have any reason to linger on it.
"This is the ER. I don't want any dispute to get in your way of work. We might lose a patient because of that."
"Chief we're professionals. We kn—" Sejeong rebutted but she was cut off by Doah
"I don't want any arguments." She cleared her throat and gave the two of them a folder with a document in it. "So to start, our Hospital will send three people to the Philippines to give them a hand in their outreach programs. They don't have enough medical workers in some of their secluded areas so they asked for assistance, and since the director of our hospital was a close friend of one of the leading doctors of that outreach program he decided to help them, He asked me to send them the most reliable and the best doctors the ER have, so I'm sending the three of you. Including Seju, but she's on leave right now so I'll just tell her the news when she comes back" She explained.
"What why us? You could've sent Dr. Kwon and Dr. Park? You know that the me and Dr. Park are having some issue with this woman. We might not perform well during our stay there." Sejeong said as she pointed her finger at Rohanne
"All the more reason to send the three of you. As Sejeong said the three of you are professionals, you guys know how to put your feelings and emotions aside. Correct? Also don't worry about the people here in the ER Dr. Kwon and me will handle them."
She smiled at them, which was very scary. The both of them were speechless. There's nothing they can do to change their Boss's mind.
"And I hope During your stay in the Philippines, you'll have a chance to fix your disputes." Their boss said and smiled in a very creepy and scary way, it was like telling them to make up or else.
"But Chief, it's the holiday season—"
"Exactly, it's the holiday season and it's expected that there would be many patients. That's why they need more professionals there."
"But—" Sejeong was about to protest when Doah gave her a sharp glare which made her shut up
"No more protests or arguments. Anyway since you'll be leaving the day after tomorrow why not spend the rest of the day packing your stuff?"
"That soon?"
"Yes, anyway here are your plane tickets and I'll inform Dr. Park later. Before her shift."
She gave the two their plane tickets from her desk. It was obvious that it was a set up for the three of them.
"Oh, and another thing…"
"What?"
"You'll be staying there for a week."
"A week? It's almost Christmas!"
"Well, all the more reason the three of you should make up. And also Merry Christmas, I'm greeting you in advance." Doah said and gave them a mischievous smile.
"Chief, please reconsider…"
"Nope, My decision is irreversible. And I already bought the plane tickets. So yeah, good luck on your trip. Anyway you're both dismissed, go tend to your patients" Doah said and threw the two out of her office.
As soon as the two were out of her office, she let out a heavy sigh.
"I hope the three of them make up as soon as possible…" She said and arranged the papers on her desk.
On the other side of the door, the two were looking at each other, Sejeong giving Rohanne a death glare and Rohanne giving an apologetic stare at Sejeong.
"What? You want another slap?" Sejeong asked Rohanne who abruptly shook her head.
She doesn't want another of those earth shattering slap from Sejeong. If Seju's slaps were at least bearable, Sejeong's slaps were earth shattering her jaw was almost dislocated
===
A week ago
As soon as Rohanne arrived at the hospital she was welcomed by Sejeong who immediately dragged her to the rooftop, where there were no other people except them.
"Sejeong, wha—"
Before she could even finish her sentence she was slapped by Sejeong. It was the hardest slap that she ever received from someone.
"That, that was for hurting Seju."
She didn't even have the time to recover when Sejeong's palms touched her cheeks once again, another slap shook her world.
"That was for keeping that secret to me and lying to me."
She knew she deserved that, but at least she wanted to explain her side to Sejeong. She didn't have to though, but she felt like she had to. She felt like Sejeong was the only one who would understand her situation if she explained. But even before she could explain herself Sejeong walked out on her and left her at the Rooftop.
"Sejeong…"
===
And until now she didn't have the chance to explain herself to Sejeong because every time they see each other Sejeong would avoid her, or just blatantly ignore her presence, so she decided that she would just leave Sejeong alone.
She let out a sigh as she sat down on one of the benches in the Garden.
She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. She's a professional so she should act like one.
"Looks like you're really stressed out Doc"
She slowly opened her eyes and look at the person beside her, It was Soah.
"What're you doing here Soah?"
"Am I not allowed here Doc?"
"It's not that…"
"So, a penny for your thoughts?"
Rohanne hesitated at first but then she gave in, she knew she needed someone to listen to her, she doesn't need any advice, she just needed someone to listen.
"I fucked up, big time…"
She told Soah what she was thinking about and how she ended up being miserable, but there was no context, she didn't say any name. She doesn't want to involve her into the mess.
"You just need to talk…"
"It's no use…"
"No, I mean talk about your feelings, be selfish. As far as I can understand you intentionally said that so that that person can be happy, but how about you? Don't give me the "If they're happy, I'm happy" Bull crap, because that's just nonsense."
She looked at the nurse beside her and thought about what the latter said.
'My feelings huh?'
"You're so kind. You need to be a little Selfish sometimes Doc. Being selfish doesn't mean that you're stepping on other people, you also deserve to be happy Doc"
'Me? Deserve to be happy?'
She chuckled at the thought and smiled at Soah.
"Thanks Soah, I needed that" She said and then stood up, she went back inside the Hospital smiling and all.
'Someone saying I deserve to be happy… That's a first'
===
The whole trip was so awkward that Rohanne thought she might die of out of it. She sat in between Sejeong and Seju, but the two wasn't speaking to her. Though the silence was killing her, she just kept on convincing herself that it's for the better. Seju was asleep the whole trip and she can't help but steal glances at her. She can't help but smile while looking at Seju, the latter looks cute because she looked like she was doing a head bang.
So without even thinking, she held Seju's head and placed it on her shoulder to make Seju comfortable.
She chuckled a bit, she felt pathetic. She can only act as if she cares when Seju is asleep and when the latter wakes up she needs to act like she doesn't care at all.
'How can I move on if fate keeps on pushing me towards you?'
She then suddenly felt Sejeong's head bump on her other shoulder. Making her smile. Looking at Sejeong, she doesn't look like someone who can slap a person that hard.
'Well, I hope Sejeong doesn't slap me when she wakes up.'
===
Slowly opening her eyes, Seju felt like she had a peaceful sleep, it was a very comfortable sleep she can say. When she fully opened her eyes and checked the two, she immediately sat up straight when she realized that she fell asleep on Rohanne's shoulders. The latter was sleeping and her head was leaning on Sejeong's head. At the sight of the two she felt a sharp pain in her chest. She smiled bitterly and let out a sigh.
'Maybe that was really for the best'
She stared at Rohanne again, examining every feature of the woman's face.
'Her face changed a lot. No wonder I didn't recognize her when she first walked in.'
The woman beside her changed so much after all those years.
'Puberty hitting her hard eh?'
She let out another sigh. Until now she can't believe what just happened, the words Rohanne told her, she convinced herself that it was all just a lie. Avoiding the woman for a week was killing her, when all she did for the past years was wait for her. She knew that whatever Yeonhwa told her that night was not true, or maybe, that was Yeonhwa's real feelings towards them.
She also understood why Sejeong was being angry at Yeonhwa and was avoiding the latter. They were friends back then, not as close as her and Yeonhwa but still, they were close. So Sejeong getting news like that would probably upset her.
A few more minutes in and they landed in Manila. They were welcomed by a group of doctors who were told to pick them up. Seju and Sejeong doesn't fluently speak English so it was a relief that Rohanne can speak the language rather fluently.
While the head Doctor was explaining what they would do, Rohanne translates it in Korean so that the two would understand it quite well.
After arriving they stayed at the nearest hotel and the next day they traveled to a secluded area in Mt. Province.
They were already at the province and was about to ride the jeepney, however there were two people who was having a hard time with their luggage: Seju and Sejeong.
"Let me…"
Seju was surprised when Rohanne or rather Yeonhwa who was far ahead from them came back and took one of her bags.
'She does care after all…'
She thought and smiled.
Sejeong who was looking at the two just shook her head.
'Really? In front of me? How fucking shameless…'
She rolled her eyes and tried to catch up with the two. But her luggage was getting in the way.
'Why did I bring so many clothes again?'
She clicked her tongue while still struggling with her bags.
When Rohanne realized that Sejeong was still far behind them she went back and snatched one of Sejeong's bags and then ran away from her. Knowing the woman, she knew that Sejeong hates it when people look at her with pity and she doesn't need help from anybody. So she did that because she knew that if she gave Sejeong the time she might get bitch slapped again.
"What the—" Sejeong was about to protest but Rohanne already ran away from her so she just let the latter be and tried to walk faster.
Seeing Rohanne pick up one of Sejeong's bag, Seju realized that the latter was just being nice to her. Because they were slowing her down. She remembered the words that came out of Rohanne's lips that day
"You two were such a nuisance… That I had to leave…"
'A nuisance… yeah, that's all I am to her'